Today, I ate something really sticky so I had to wash my hands and mouth. I saw a tea towel on the bench so I was wiped myself with that. Then I noticed it smelt really bad. I had just cleaned my face with turps. FML
Add a comment
Top comments
Comments
By
SassiestLemon
| 2
What, if I may ask, is a Turpin?
Reply
ktdad07
| 0
You may not ask, you may use Google.
Reply
lerouxmaster
| 7
Yeah, WTF is a Turpin --'
A turp is something else though, you dumbass. Google the shit out of it.
A turp is something else though, you dumbass. Google the shit out of it.
Reply
fadingaway
| 16
Turpentine -_-
Reply
SassiestLemon
| 2
Dude chill, it was the autocorrect, I meant to type turp. "Dumbass"
Reply
SassiestLemon
| 2
Anyway, thanks 10.
Reply
lerouxmaster
| 7
Hihi ! I luvz trollin...
Reply
lerouxmaster
| 7
But use Google anyway.
Reply
EmoGiana
| 0
19, You be trollin'???? XD I love Ray William Johnson
Reply
zinoxity
| 23
35 - Where does Ray William Johnston come into the picture?
Reply
zinoxity
| 23
Johnson* Stupid autocorrect.
Reply
JonaDona
| 2
Co za asy
Reply
zinoxity
| 23
45 - Dumb foreigner.
Reply
Zebidee
| 8
I'll post this up here, because everyone gets a chance to read it that way (and it also answers #1's question).
'Turps' is an Australian abbreviation for turpentine, either wood turpentine, or the mineral kind that is called 'white spirit' in other places. It's the stuff you use to clean paint brushes.
Although it can be used as slang for alcohol, in this context, it can only mean turpentine. It's the word you'd use 99% of the time when referring to the product.
There - now no-one has to ask again, and we can all get on with our lives.
Oh, and OP - WTF?! How could you not smell that a mile off?
'Turps' is an Australian abbreviation for turpentine, either wood turpentine, or the mineral kind that is called 'white spirit' in other places. It's the stuff you use to clean paint brushes.
Although it can be used as slang for alcohol, in this context, it can only mean turpentine. It's the word you'd use 99% of the time when referring to the product.
There - now no-one has to ask again, and we can all get on with our lives.
Oh, and OP - WTF?! How could you not smell that a mile off?
Reply
EmoGiana
| 0
Co za asy!!! I love that one. :)
Reply
MrSassypants
| 32
RWJ is not the only one who uses the term trolling. Also #56 your a dumbass. You don't even know why he is saying that.
Reply
zinoxity
| 23
62 - You're*. I do know where it's from, I was trolling and it worked, because a dumbass responded according to. Hahaha. Moron, I win. Good game, no re.
Reply
fadingaway
| 16
South African too.
Reply
jess2gd4u
| 0
you should be able to smell that when u walked into the room. bloody hell mate.
Reply
SarahStarzz
| 0
#57 I am glad there r people in FML who don't tell pplz "google it" cuz I hate when they do that, just answer it if u kno the question :D
thanks even though I knw the meaning hehe
thanks even though I knw the meaning hehe
Reply
Zebidee
| 8
Oh, while we're at it, judging from the questions below...
Tea towel: Dish towel or dish cloth. The thing you use to dry off dishes after you've washed them by hand.
Bench: Kitchen counter. The surfaces in your kitchen where you prepare and serve food.
Man, I never thought such simple terms could possibly cause such confusion. You people really need to get out more.
Tea towel: Dish towel or dish cloth. The thing you use to dry off dishes after you've washed them by hand.
Bench: Kitchen counter. The surfaces in your kitchen where you prepare and serve food.
Man, I never thought such simple terms could possibly cause such confusion. You people really need to get out more.
Reply
Shokz992
| 0
Whilst - being a Brit - I call "dish cloths" tea towels, i've never come across anyone refer to a kitchen surface as a bench... Just actual benches and tables for woodwork/metalwork etc.
Reply
Honesty4U
| 0
Here in the Southern USA we just call them dish rags and countertops.
Reply
springer937
| 13
140- ikr
Reply
DaveOnDope
| 4
To #140
My lady needed me to explain what a "warsh rag" was and after 22 years together, she still can't fry taters or eggs! Thank gawd her Okie momma moved in with us, that old sweetheart knows how to fry 'em right!
(Yes radical FML'ers, I done used that word "sweetheart" again!)
My lady needed me to explain what a "warsh rag" was and after 22 years together, she still can't fry taters or eggs! Thank gawd her Okie momma moved in with us, that old sweetheart knows how to fry 'em right!
(Yes radical FML'ers, I done used that word "sweetheart" again!)
Reply
attatood
| 7
Thanks #57, because my Google search came up with "Trans-urethral Resection of the Prostate" and I was thinking WTF??
Reply
rudysayshi
| 4
that's completely inspiring coming from what I'm assuming is a cute young lady ayame dear. and if your curious as to what I'm talking about its her interesting bio thing
Reply
NoFlippinWai
| 24
I am Michigan. (the northern pennisula) and there is completely different slag for somethings that people from the lower pennisula have no idea what we are talking about and we are just a bridge away. Most of it is insults but some aren't. like washrag, wash (used instead of laundry), file 13 or bin (trashcan), hamper (laundry), tube (television), interwebs (internet), PocketFruit (Apple products) or saying youre traveling "up" no matter where you are going ( going up to Canada, going up to Mexico or Europe.)
Reply
Lagalette
| 19
Wow this is so nice because i'm french and theses comments help me to understand better thank you hehe :D
By
green_tetris
| 2
:-x
By
tylerjs12
| 0
that sucks
Reply
Immersion
| 0
I know. turps killed all the sperm...
By
gunmania0
| 12
ouch White spirit.
Reply
EmoGiana
| 0
Yeah XD
Reply
ImaginaryFoe
| 0
How do you not smell that before actually applying it to your face?! YDI
By
jordanprodigy023
| 0
Always check before you use idiot
By
irokyoursox
| 6
oh that is quite indeedly terribleriffic
By
DocBastard
| 38
You cleaned your face with a Transurethral Resection of the Prostate? That makes no sense.
Reply
thejacl
| 0
lol...
he's right though it does not make sense.
he's right though it does not make sense.
Reply
ktdad07
| 0
Ya know, I thought from my Google search that turp meant turpentine, but I should probably listen to you Doc. After all, you are a doc(tor).
Reply
BWill9014
| 4
Turpentine is also known as "turps" according to wiki
Reply
BelleElle_fml
| 5
Doc is that a real X-Ray???
Reply
DocBastard
| 38
Belle - it is indeed a real X-ray of a real patient of mine. It was a 12-ounce glass Coke bottle.
Reply
beccusmaximus
| 0
Wow! Where does one find Coke in glass bottles anymore?!
Reply
kaceemae
| 7
we actually had a pt with the same issue a year or so ago.
Reply
Zebidee
| 8
#47 - of all the possible FAQs Doc's picture brings up, I never would have guessed someone would have asked that one!
Reply
OCDC
| 9
Is it even possible to insert a Coke bottle that far up your ass? Shouldn't it have punctured something by now? Unless of course you're trying out a new type of urinary catheter...
Reply
DocBastard
| 38
OCDC - it is quite possible, as you can clearly see by the picture. The butt of the bottle (no pun intended) was lodged over his sacrum, so I had to take him to the OR and put him under anesthesia to relax his rectum and anus enough to get it out. Sometimes people insert things so far that we have to actually go into the abdomen and make an incision in the colon. Fortunately, that's rare.
Reply
OCDC
| 9
That must have been embarrassing for him. What exactly was he doing with a bottle shoved up his rectum? Besides the obvious, of course
Reply
BelleElle_fml
| 5
Wow... Was he really calm about the whole thing? Cause my cousin helped out at an ER in her town's hospital and said people would come in and say they swallowed huge nails and stuck pins in their ears like it was completely out of the ordinary.
Reply
DocBastard
| 38
OCDC - his exact words were, "Doc, I'm not gay, but my wife is out of town with the kids, and I did a stupid thing."
Reply
Zebidee
| 8
He said he wasn't gay, but he clearly forgot to say "no homo", otherwise it would have been OK, and you guys could have laughed about it over a couple of brewskis.
Reply
1989mustang50
| 0
wow how do you go from talking about turps to talking about putting a glass bottle of coke in your ass then going to get an x-ray of it??? that makes absolutely zero sense
Reply
OCDC
| 9
I wish I could see the look on his wife's face when she finds out :) Do you get a lot of patients like him, who couldn't wait for their significant other to get home and then ended up getting something surgically removed?
Reply
erongetti
| 2
HAHAHAHAHAHaHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... this is the funniest trail ever!!! Doc, your patient is hilarious! I wonder if he knows you've immortalized him on fml.
Reply
chogle
| 8
115, it makes perfect sense.. Someone saw his profile picture and asked a question about it. There, mystery solved.
Reply
doglady
| 16
from one doc to another: LMAO, seen such things before, not for a while though. The same thought wen thru my head as I read that fml, "what does a TURP [procedure] have to do with this?"
By
Ranger16266
| 0
Turps is Aussie slang for alcoholic beverages.
Reply
jess2gd4u
| 0
not always u dope. it's clear in this instance thats it's the product turpentine.
Reply
Babblez
| 0
I can't recall having ever referred to one of my beverages as "turps". Although, I suppose I've called certain vodka home brews paint thinners, same thing. But never turps, and never as an everyday description of a cruiser or a beam or something.
Where do people get these ideas from??
Where do people get these ideas from??
Reply
jess2gd4u
| 0
it's older slang. "we gettin on the turps tonight" is how u might use it. my dad often uses the term. lol bloody soak!
Reply
Babblez
| 0
I have heard it used in like movies that poorly depict the Australian lifestyle...but pretty much only ever in the outback or whatever >.> never really in towns and cities.
Reply
itman3456
| 0
o ok thank u lolz
By
jmac317
| 0
thx 4 that image :D
Reply
holycow2
| 0
your picture is really ugly
Reply
Kirashai
| 9
You're one to talk.
By
mizzzgm1
| 0
Turps = Turpentine?
'Turps' is an Australian abbreviation for turpentine, either wood turpentine, or the mineral kind that is called 'white spirit' in other places. It's the stuff you use to clean paint brushes.
Although it can be used as slang for alcohol, in this context, it can only mean turpentine. It's the word you'd use 99% of the time when referring to the product.
There - now no-one has to ask again, and we can all get on with our lives.
Oh, and OP - WTF?! How could you not smell that a mile off?