Work: Today, while at work, after reading more than 100 FMLs and moderating...

By f_ck_U - China

Today, while at work, after reading more than 100 FMLs and moderating more than 500, I decided to write one of my own with the help of my boss, who had been standing next to me for over an hour. "How about being fired?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

12157

You deserved it

58659

Favorite

f_ck_U tells us more :

more than 100 means those confirmed and posted FMLs. That 500 are those unconfirmed which need you to click Y or N.

Work

Crowded House

Furry

Buyer's market

By DreDre

The charity

Today, I found out that the dude I love has been taking the money I used to support him and buying heroin with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1943

You deserved it

690

Favorite

By kerensa - Australia - Mornington

Today, a lady threw a coke bottle at my head because she had a non-winning lottery ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29564

You deserved it

2229

Favorite

By Jenna Berreth

Ask first, snoop later

Today, I was trying to find my missing purple pen in the house I share with my boyfriend and his 57 year-old mother. I checked her room just in case, only to open a drawer and be greeted by a dildo. I’m never going to unsee that. FML

I agree, your life sucks

617

You deserved it

2902

Favorite

By Hi, I'm Heather - United States - Lincolnton

Today, my Spanish teacher told me that the reason the girl I'm tutoring hasn't contacted me yet is because she emailed the teacher saying she didn't like my name, therefore she didn't want me to be her tutor. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37021

You deserved it

2865

Favorite

By ccgundum - Canada - Vancouver

Today, someone hit my parked car. The impact caused the front of the car to go up onto the sidewalk, and I got a ticket for parking there. FML

I agree, your life sucks

52207

You deserved it

3984

Favorite

By Alex Andreas - United States - Edmond

Today, I found out where my sister's pet lizard escaped to. I also found out that the little shit likes to hide in dark, cold places. I discovered this when I heard the bastard squeal as I started the lawnmower. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26629

You deserved it

2429

Favorite

By It's-only15-lbs-extra

Not. Helping.

Today, because of my full-time job, full-time courses, studying for the GRE, anxiety disorder, insomnia, and a recent pet death, I'm on the verge of a breakdown. My mother texted, "Looking through old photos, you were so skinny, what happened?" FML

I agree, your life sucks

5365

You deserved it

429

Favorite

By mikmak - United States - Charlotte

Today, I had fallen asleep in the back of a friend's car on the way home from a night out. When I woke up, they were in the middle of a full-on make out session. I had to pretend to be asleep for 20 minutes until they decided to "wake me up". FML

I agree, your life sucks

20475

You deserved it

3092

Favorite

By Anonymous - Asia/Pacific Region

Today, and pretty much every day, my co-worker takes off her shoes while working. The smell of her feet makes me dizzy. I don't know if she's oblivious to the fact that her feet stink, or she just doesn't care. It's affecting the quality of my work. FML

I agree, your life sucks

28948

You deserved it

2964

Favorite

By yumx24 - United States

Today, at the local swimming pool, my friend and I noticed two cute guys had just arrived. When they jumped in, we immediately took off our tank tops and got in the opposite end. They looked over at us, then looked at each other, got out of the pool and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45618

You deserved it

15780

Favorite

By Anonymous - 5/5/2021 06:01

Time to move

Today, after taking a shower, I realised that my landlord was peeking in the whole time through broken ventilator. Once he tried to get into my room, using his keys. I couldn't tell the landlord's wife, as I didn't have any proof so I left the house, even though my rent was long due. FML

I agree, your life sucks

966

You deserved it

Favorite

By failure - United States - Loomis

Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd feel like a failure if he went to community college. I'm planning to go to community college next year. FML

I agree, your life sucks

37285

You deserved it

4968

Favorite

By unmarried - Canada - Weston

Today, my fiancé received his divorce papers. Thanks to his procrastinating, his divorce is effective May 29th. We're supposed to get married on May 28th. FML

I agree, your life sucks

15274

You deserved it

5279

Favorite

By Anonymous

Pick your moments, dude!

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic night. As we were having sex, he decided to say, "Look mom, no hands!" and it totally ruined the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1765

You deserved it

299

Favorite

By TheStressComesFree - Canada - Calgary

Today, I was told that I have to apply to keep the job that I've held for the past two years. There are so many other applicants that it's basically a free-for-all. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46169

You deserved it

3339

Favorite

By wvugirl - United States

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he thinks about long term relationships. He said, "Our relationship is kinda like having a dog. Chances are, your dog is going to die pretty quickly, before you do. Dogs and humans just aren't meant to be together forever." He compared me to a dying dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks

61696

You deserved it

5436

Favorite

By mateyouremental - United Kingdom - London

Today, I baked some regular brownies for my friend. Just to mess with him, after he ate some, I said they had weed in them. He trashed my room in anger, and still won't believe me when I tell him that I didn't actually slip him any drugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks

13066

You deserved it

39961

Favorite

By SuddenlyDogless - Canada - Beachville

Today, my dog has very watery diarrhea. I laid down paper towels to soak it up, and went to get sanitary wipes for the rest of it. When I came back, my dog had dragged the paper towels up onto the sand coloured loveseat. Sand coloured no longer. FML

I agree, your life sucks

7014

You deserved it

841

Favorite

By not a boy toy

Today, I attended the will reading of the old lady who accidentally ran me over with her car years ago. I was affectionately mentioned and was left with something rather substantial. I had to listen through all that while getting evil leers and silently judged by family members who got squat. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5462

You deserved it

703

Favorite

By Martin s - 8/5/2021 01:59 - United States - Manahawkin

Assumptions

Today, I saw the crazy meth guy, who randomly rolls up on you on his bike and tells you how he met Jesus, leading a little boy behind a church. After I made sure nothing weird was happening, I reported it to the police and posted a status to warn parents on Facebook, I found it was actually his kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks

424

You deserved it

789

Favorite

By booearns - United States

Today, I visited my doctor upon coming home from University. I found out that I'm severely allergic to our pet bunny, which has resulted in a rash taking over my body. She suggested that we get rid of the bunny. I told my mom. She told me to come home less often. FML

I agree, your life sucks

26858

You deserved it

3144

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States - Lafayette

Today, I found the purse that some asshat stole from my 15-year-old sister a few days ago. I found it in my now ex-boyfriend's closet. When I confronted him, he broke up with me for "invading" his privacy and kicked me out, without the purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks

48181

You deserved it

3899

Favorite

By don'tdrinkthat - United States - Quincy

Today, I came home to find my 14-year-old son attempting to get drunk off aftershave. FML

I agree, your life sucks

44179

You deserved it

4804

Favorite

By Anonymous

Today, I got my hair trimmed to look fresh for my sister's wedding this week. The woman messed up so badly that the manager had to step in and fix it. I lost 8 inches of hair and my dad keeps telling me I look like a medieval stable boy. FML

I agree, your life sucks

5067

You deserved it

353

Favorite

By Ow - United States - Golden Valley

Today, due to my short temper, I punched myself in the nose because I wouldn't stop sneezing. FML

I agree, your life sucks

24442

You deserved it

59626

Favorite

By crippled - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I helped my dad push our broken-down truck from the driveway onto the tire ramp. Truck didn't make it; neither did my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks

45099

You deserved it

4267

Favorite

By me - United States - Paris

Today, my Spanish teacher imitated the sound of a coffee grinder, and then said in Spanish, "OK, all of you do it." I did it, thinking everyone else would too. I was the only one in the class who'd understood the Spanish part. FML

I agree, your life sucks

46186

You deserved it

5218

Favorite

By notsoproudfather - India - Pune

Today, I walked in on my son's new habit. Sticking his finger up his ass, farting on it, and smelling it. Apparently, the scent is the purest then. FML

I agree, your life sucks

23926

You deserved it

2290

Favorite

By Experience - United States - Waynesfield

Today, my dad opened a Chinese fortune cookie that read, "Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes." Now he won't stop calling me Experience. FML

I agree, your life sucks

40927

You deserved it

3567

Favorite

By nodullmoment - United States - Lafayette

Today, I got home and noticed people were looking at my next-door neighbor's house that is for rent. Peering closer, I realized my ex-boyfriend and the girl he cheated on me with a few months ago are inside. After they left, the "for rent" sign came down. I've got new neighbors. FML

I agree, your life sucks

56035

You deserved it

3234

Favorite

By Anonymous - Netherlands

Today, my husband and kids celebrated my 50th birthday. I turned 47. FML

I agree, your life sucks

64610

You deserved it

3809

Favorite

By Anonymous - United Kingdom - London

Just a prank, bro!

Today, I've been told that the test I have tomorrow, which I've been studying for, is not on 'Parent and Child Relationships' but on 'Scotland's Fishing Communities'. My brother thought it would be funny to hide the real booklet, and make up his own one for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1531

You deserved it

261

Favorite

By anna - United States - Hattiesburg

Today, I had to take my 15-year-old son to the hospital. He'd gone out dressed as some My Little Pony character and encountered someone who'd had the same idea. They then got into a fistfight, and my son got the shit beaten out of him. I wish I'd never bred. FML

I agree, your life sucks

47288

You deserved it

9702

Favorite

By Anonymous - Canada

Today, while going up a ski-lift I accidentally dropped my ticket. The ticket I needed at the top to come back down. I had to hike down the mountain in flip-flops. FML

I agree, your life sucks

34522

You deserved it

16086

Favorite

By Alyssa Charlotte - Mexico

Today, after being terrified for years, I went on a plane for the first time. It was also the first time I "emergency landed." FML

I agree, your life sucks

37205

You deserved it

3027

Favorite

By Anonymous

Make it easy on yourself

Today, I had depressive feelings, so I decided to write about it to find out what was bothering me, and let go of the negative thoughts. While doing so, I had a panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks

1481

You deserved it

190

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, I sent my boss a link to a website I thought would answer a simple question she'd asked. Turns out, yes, the site did answer her question, but it also had some very suggestive ads on it. Apparently I'm the only person in the office who uses adblock. FML

I agree, your life sucks

29125

You deserved it

2992

Favorite

By Anonymous

Fast and Furious

Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML

I agree, your life sucks

805

You deserved it

1599

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my roommate showed me that her pepper spray had expired, so I decided to test it on myself. It worked. FML

I agree, your life sucks

10266

You deserved it

79539

Favorite

By Anonymous - United States

Today, my mother came into my workplace to wail on me for "ruining our family's reputation" because I got a girl pregnant. I've been married to the "girl" for 8 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks

65108

You deserved it

3303

Favorite

Add a comment

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

By YourEvilHero | 12

#3321636 - Wednesday 21 September 2011 12:09

this site can be addicting...

By StoryOfTheYear | 13

#3321881 - Wednesday 21 September 2011 13:01

1- You should hire him. :D

COMMENTS

By Mini_Pedobear | 0

#3321610 - Wednesday 21 September 2011 12:04

it was probably worth it

MyMilkShake2Yard | 0

#3325040 - Wednesday 21 September 2011 23:43

At least now you can moderate and read as many fml as u want without being worried of getting fired

n1ck00 | 0

#3348326 - Monday 26 September 2011 7:11

(.Y.)

By jman730 | 0

#3321611 - Wednesday 21 September 2011 12:04

That's why you don't post FMLs at work.

mohamadelqut1995 | 0

#4306269 - Sunday 15 April 2012 3:12

It might be his job?

By saIty | 17

#3321617 - Wednesday 21 September 2011 12:04

NO, BOSS PLEASE!!!!! FML

KitchKraft | 21

#6074026 - Thursday 25 September 2014 23:02

Dinkleburg...

By Nico_Belic | 0

#3321621 - Wednesday 21 September 2011 12:05

You completely deserve it. Are you looking for sympathy? Because it's 100 percent your fault.

docscientist | 9

#3321753 - Wednesday 21 September 2011 12:28

Working hours are usually bloated anyway.

Marcella1016 | 31

#3322182 - Wednesday 21 September 2011 14:48

Yep white collar jobs, unless you're a lawyer at a big firm or something, generally have a lot of downtime.

BB_ava | 0

#3324682 - Wednesday 21 September 2011 22:49

OP, ydi. If someone hires you they've bought your time.

By Dalliance | 4

#3321629 - Wednesday 21 September 2011 12:08

How do you know it was over 500? They're not numbered when you moderate. Still, sucks for you.

deviable | 9

#3322996 - Wednesday 21 September 2011 18:52

It was over 9000.

Siji | 0

#3331349 - Friday 23 September 2011 5:43

What, 9000!?!
That's impossible!

By batman_516 | 9

#3321634 - Wednesday 21 September 2011 12:09

FML is viewable through the Great Firewall of China?

fugachumi | 0

#3322142 - Wednesday 21 September 2011 14:36

You stuff can't be thumbed down that's awesomeXD

CryMoreFMLs | 14

#3322192 - Wednesday 21 September 2011 14:56

48 - I was brushing my teeth when I saw your picture.

CanadiansAreAJok | 0

#3322204 - Wednesday 21 September 2011 15:07

53- I was taking a dump when I saw your picture.

f_ck_U | 16

#3322554 - Wednesday 21 September 2011 16:59

obvious

f_ck_U | 16

#3322566 - Wednesday 21 September 2011 17:02

tell u what? youtube, tweeter, facebook are not accessible. This FML thing? we are complaining about life everyday anyway. No big deal!

simple_apple0303 | 3

#3322967 - Wednesday 21 September 2011 18:42

Yes,we can access to FML!Thank GOD!!(T_T)

YtotsDI | 0

#3323695 - Wednesday 21 September 2011 21:49

omh me. gkx

Creamysweeps | 5

#3329369 - Thursday 22 September 2011 19:48

Let's just say it's an FML experience trying to see it.

By YourEvilHero | 12

#3321636 - Wednesday 21 September 2011 12:09

this site can be addicting...

By toelie | 25

#3321637 - Wednesday 21 September 2011 12:09

How on earth did you not notice your boss standing there for over an hour?

jerico616 | 14

#3321746 - Wednesday 21 September 2011 12:27

Yeah, shouldn't HE have been working instead of being on FML, too?

Marcella1016 | 31

#3322186 - Wednesday 21 September 2011 14:50

Ah, the hypocrisies of life...

JTHolloway200 | 0

#3343000 - Sunday 25 September 2011 9:13

He was helping with the fml

By markrs | 0

#3321648 - Wednesday 21 September 2011 12:11

I'm sorry stupid

By Wreckless_fml | 6

#3321651 - Wednesday 21 September 2011 12:11

Your boss stood there and watched you for one hour and didn't say a word?

Krista835 | 5

#3321666 - Wednesday 21 September 2011 12:13

He was probably reading the FMLs too. :P

KK3137 | 31

#3322396 - Wednesday 21 September 2011 16:09

Maybe they were reading it together...

f_ck_U | 16

#3322581 - Wednesday 21 September 2011 17:06

bingo