Today, I went to the circus with my family. When we were looking at the animals during the break, an elephant took my purse with his trunk and ate it. It crushed my cellphone, camera, keys and wallet. After that, the circus director yelled at me for feeding poisonous stuff to his elephant. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I took my kids to the circus. We were having fun, right up until the point they saw an old man dressed as a clown, at which point they screamed, grabbed onto my shorts, and managed to accidentally pull them down. FML
Today, I learned that Guru Tugginmypudha was right, two elephants humping is the ultimate distraction, as in, when two elephants started humping during my kids' trip to the zoo, a mad crowd of idiots rushed to watch, and somewhere in the middle of it all I clearly felt a pickpocket steal my wallet. FML
Today, I went to the zoo to see all of my favorite animals. When I got there, I realized they must've all been on strike or something, and refused to come out of their enclosures. FML
Today, I was attacked by clowns at work. I don't work at the circus. FML
Today, I took my daughter to the zoo. I threw a piece of my sandwich towards a very cute chimpanzee. As a thank you, he threw a piece of crap at me, which exploded all over my shirt. FML
Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML
Today, my family and I went to feed carrots to the giraffes at the zoo. After I finished my first cup of carrots, I turned back to get some more. Suddenly, I was jerked back and a chunk of my hair was ripped out. The giraffe mistook the orange barrette in my hair for a carrot. FML
Today, I went to eat out. When I sat down, I realized I forgot my straw. I took my purse with me, not wanting it to get stolen. Someone stole my food instead. FML
Today, my family and I went to a beach where you could swim with dolphins. I was a little scared to swim with them so the trainers had a five minute chat to me about how they were harmless creatures. Once I got in, the dolphin attacked me and bit me. FML
Today, I ran full speed into a brick wall because I saw a tiger. On the other side of a zoo cage. FML
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Top comments
thatgirlinoregon 21
At least it didn't take your shoe!
Paco_el_Taco 17
Look at it this way, now you don't have to carry all that shit around with you.
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Comments (140)
jennt89 10
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Wow! I learned a lesson from this FML... Don't bring your purse to the circus. Thank you for sharing.
meagy 6
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Why did you feed the elephant your purse?!
KiRaKaT 9
Wow did you read the fml? OP didn't "feed" the elephant her purse the elephant took the purse. Damn elephant ninjas stealing purses and such.....FYL OP!
RedPillSucks 33
I'm having trouble imagining the elephant dressed in a ninja outfit with a katana by its side sneaking up on OP and stealing her purse.
beelee1988 13
I think 21 was being sarcastic ... I hope.
ineslovescats 5
Haha that's super funny, but rather unfortunate OP! I would ask for some sort of compensation for the stuff the elephant ate.
charlack 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Why was you that close to a elephant for anyways !?!
Rowdey 10
The stupidity in your comment is literally painful.
missalkali 8
why wasn't you that close to you're English teacher when them teached you the damn language? *disclaimer, I am indeed aware of the grammatical errors in my comment. no need to point them out
NoraT_fml 6
Google Translator can't even translate that comment...
fthku 13
To be fair, #59, Google Translate couldn't translate most comments.
BunchieRules 31
Coming from "America's #1 stoner", I'm not sure he even realized what he was typing. Doc, translator. Stat!
thatgirlinoregon 21
Circus director: "Peanut, where on earth did you get a size 6 patent leather pump?" Elephant: *poker face*
lmfb07 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I hope the elephant dies
ManInTheMachine 20
Damn, who pissed in your cornflakes? I doubt the elephant knew any better.
pavlovaaLOVE 7
I hope YOU die for that comment. Idiot
RedPillSucks 33
Elephants pissed in her cornflakes.
NoraT_fml 6
Someone got shit on by an elephant today..
Axipiter 24
I'm sorry, this comment actually DID get a good laugh out of me. It was just so random and unexpected.
laden_swallow09 35
Not random and unexpected, malevolent and hateful.
Quinn32 16
I hope we all die (and so does the elephant) or else the world will have a serious overcrowding problem.
sailoroftheseas 7
elephant win
mxpklx 12
Sounds delicious
DjeePee 25
Still elephants in your circusses? Here, they are strictly forbidden. You know, animal abuse. Anyway, I think the circus is in fault. If an elephant can steal stuff from people, he is way to close near them.
TheDrifter 24
There are still a few here, though they don't allow many circuses to have them, the whole cruelty thing. The one that came through here a couple years ago had people doing the stunts, on top of the elephant. Pretty cool, and they sell elephant rides when its not preforming.
MerrikBarbarian 9
Elephants are still legal in north America, but every time they cross state or country lines the circus owner needs to fill out and pay for import and export permits for protected species. Same for tigers and lions. I refuse to see a circus with animals myself... But you are 100% correct. An elephant close enough to steal a purse is far too close to people and is an accident waiting to happen.
MerrikBarbarian 9
Gah I just noticed op is in Austria not America. Serves me right for posting before my coffee... In any case, assuming the use of elephants isn't banned in a country, the requirement of import and re-export permits for protected species is pretty much global since CITES is an international law.
rubbertoast 2
I wood like to c how much tht elephant is getting paid to steal people's purses
thiscrazything 1
He's paid peanuts.
NoFeet 4
Yes, because an elephant definitely needs money.