Animals: Today, I ran full speed into a brick wall because I saw a tiger....

By steve - 23/12/2011 03:02 - United States

Today, I ran full speed into a brick wall because I saw a tiger. On the other side of a zoo cage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 419

You deserved it 35 756

Animals

This Charming Man

You tried

Open season

By Anonymous - 04/04/2015 10:16 - India

Today, the girl I've been seeing for less than a week started raging and ended up threatening me with a knife, after I shot down her idea of getting married next month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 249

You deserved it 3 431

By Anonymous - 15/11/2015 04:44 - United States - Lewisville

Today, my boyfriend got pissed off and is now sulking, all because I didn't make a huge deal out of our 1-month "anniversary". FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 981

You deserved it 3 673

By needanewride - 16/11/2012 02:40 - United States - Newton Center

Today, I took a crowded train home. I was holding on to the rail when an old man started rubbing his crotch across my hand. I moved my hand but he moved too and kept doing it. When I moved my hand higher, he started licking it. I had to wait ten minutes for the next stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 229

You deserved it 3 295

Hey there!

By ohcrap - 08/11/2012 01:41 - United States

Today, while I was sitting on the toilet, my toddler swung the door open. We just bought the house, and we have no curtains. Our new neighbor, who I haven't met, was mowing her yard. I stood half-naked to close the door, and our eyes met. I froze. She waved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 941

You deserved it 2 566

By NiquetChrome - 14/04/2013 23:18 - France

Today, I borrowed my 23-year-old son's laptop. The sticky keyboard gave me a good idea of his browsing history. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 969

You deserved it 14 053

By Anonymous - 04/03/2010 17:15 - Estonia

Today, I stole a bite of my boyfriend's hamburger. He threw a fit, saying I took too big a bite and I had to replace it with a new, more expensive one. Afterwards, he said how lucky I was he didn't break up with me then and there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 482

You deserved it 10 409

Bunged up

By Anonymous - 24/04/2021 02:00

Today, as caregiver, I had to physically remove the shit my grandpa had stuck in his rectum, because he doesn't remember how to shit. He barely knows who I am, which is good because when he remembers who he is, he becomes an abusive asshole. I'm 27. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 087

You deserved it 73

Contagion

By Anonymous - 26/12/2020 05:02

Today, after bronchitis and a negative COVID test, I finally went back into my classroom for the last day before break. An hour after I got home, a parent contacted me to let me know her child (whom I helped all day) had tested positive and that I needed to quarantine. She thought I would, "want to know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 965

You deserved it 64

By SOdamnNervous - 29/08/2009 18:06 - United States

Today, I had to give a speech on the importance of dental hygiene. I got really nervous, so I did what I've heard in movies. I pictured everyone naked, began staring at a hot blonde in the front, and got hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 547

You deserved it 53 048

By tigerfiend - 17/02/2009 21:53 - United States

Today, I went to a plastic surgeon's office with a friend. The doctor walked in and before he could look at the consult papers, he started explaining the lipo suction procedure to me. I had to interrupt him and tell him that I was only there for support for my friend's nose job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 624

You deserved it 5 752

By Anonymous - 10/05/2019 04:00

Today, my wife kicked me out of my own bed to go and sleep on the sofa because the dog was whining, and would only stop if she was allowed to sleep on my side of the bed. My wife would rather sleep with the dog than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 744

You deserved it 308

By nicky - 31/03/2011 19:18 - United Kingdom

Today, I managed to stab myself with a knife while trying to open something without a can opener. After getting stitches and returning back home, I went to make a cup of coffee. I found the can opener in the cutlery drawer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 093

You deserved it 29 269

By Stacy - 13/07/2013 04:22 - United States

Today, the guy I like asked me what he should do for the girl he has a crush on. I told him to give her flowers and tell her how he feels. Later that day my doorbell rang, and he stood there holding flowers. He said the magical words, "My car broke down, can you give me a lift?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 049

You deserved it 5 228

By jl_word - 04/02/2015 21:49 - United States

Today, I paid a local homeless man to rake the leaves in my yard. After paying and driving him to the bus stop, I found his shit on my back porch. I need new shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 579

You deserved it 3 820

By DangerousDriver - 03/07/2017 22:10

Today, while delivering for a building supply company, I was sent to an incorrect address. I attempted to turn around and got the 24-foot truck stuck in the mud. The homeowner left for work and then called the cops, saying someone was trespassing on his property. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 516

You deserved it 399

By Anonymous - 09/01/2014 19:02 - United States - Converse

Today, like every day since my wife was prescribed antibiotics for an infection, I had to hide one of the pills inside her food, because she'd apparently rather fall seriously ill than swallow them like an adult. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 714

You deserved it 4 514

By bear food - 08/01/2014 04:37 - United States - Anaheim

Today, my friends and I went camping in the woods. I fell asleep first. Waking up hours later to them bunched up together in the middle of the tent and me half-way outside, I confronted them about it. They admitted, "We heard a bear so we needed a sacrifice." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 555

You deserved it 5 509

By Anonymous - 25/10/2010 07:21 - Australia

Today, I was on MSN when the conversation died. So I lied and told them I had to go get ready for a party, and that everyone was expecting me there. I spent the rest of the night playing The Sims. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 134

You deserved it 33 562

By shoopbadeewoop - 08/03/2014 21:43

Today, it was snowing. After answering a call, I put my phone into my jacket pocket, and hurried across the road. I quickly realised my phone hadn't slipped into my pocket after all, and I turned around in time to see a snowplow go by. I couldn't find my phone in the snowdrifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 865

You deserved it 6 206

By Anonymous - 16/05/2017 16:00

Today, I've been yawning every few minutes. Which would be fine, except every couple of yawns my jaw dislocates, and I have to put it back in place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 129

You deserved it 322

By ihateumicheal - 02/08/2010 15:37 - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided to visit me at work. With another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 415

You deserved it 4 232

By someone - 23/07/2011 08:50 - United States

Today, I'm staying in a hotel where the lights are automatic. They turn on when something moves and turn off when everything is still. I'm a sensitive sleeper and I move in my sleep, so the light wakes me up. It's currently 2 a.m. and all together I've gotten about 20 minutes of sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 460

You deserved it 4 435

By elrjay - 20/06/2017 02:00 - Spain - Madrid

Today, I'm laying in my holiday apartment with the patio doors open, listening to the german man next door take dirty pics of his wife on the balcony. I'm too scared to get up and shut the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 943

You deserved it 1 025

By no paedo - 11/03/2016 20:35 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be funny to change my ringtone to some guy crooning "Thank heaven for little girls" and then call me during today's teacher-parent conference. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 872

You deserved it 1 962

By ElemTeacher - 02/01/2018 15:00

Today, a student's parent yelled at me because they had to pay for school equipment their son had stolen from my desk. Apparently, it's my fault because the item was just too tempting for him not to steal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 644

You deserved it 246

By meesh22 - 06/10/2009 04:16 - United States

Today, I received an email from my professor informing me that if I missed another class, I'd be dropped from the course. I have field experience to complete tomorrow as part of my major. I emailed her two weeks ago to let her know, and we're excused by the dean. She doesn't care. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 997

You deserved it 7 910

By Laceylace - 22/03/2009 20:40 - United States

Today, I wrote my boyfriend a sexy letter designed to arouse him. I described what I wanted us to do to each other in the most erotic way. Later, he came up to me and hugged me, saying it was the funniest thing he ever read and he's glad he's in love with a girl with such a great sense of humor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 683

You deserved it 13 135

ACAB

By Anonymous - 17/10/2019 02:00 - United States

Today, I got pulled over by a cop and got slammed with a ticket for expired tabs on my motorcycle. The DMV was literally across the street. I was heading there to get new tabs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 491

You deserved it 646

By ouchers - 11/06/2009 19:49 - United States

Today, I was at the mall with my mom. She was pissing me off, so I started screaming at her and causing a scene. I ended up falling all the way down the up escalator. Everyone saw and people clapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 275

You deserved it 338 593

By loveeyou. - 08/02/2010 08:00 - France

Today, I realized the only reason I watched the SuperBowl is because Justin Bieber tweeted about it. I don't even like football. I had no idea what was going on the whole game. All I knew was who I was cheering for, because Justin Bieber tweeted who he was cheering for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 296

You deserved it 86 489

By Anonymous - 30/03/2016 17:02 - United States - Brunswick

Today, I went to my new dentist to get my teeth cleaned. He kept getting distracted, causing him to repeatedly stab me in the gums. He then had the nerve to tell me that I need to brush more, due to how I was bleeding just from his "routine examination". FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 082

You deserved it 1 712

By Woody - 06/10/2018 14:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I went to take a dump at work, but the last person in the stall didn't flush. As I flushed for him, the shitty water splashed on my face. Some went in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 613

You deserved it 371

By Anonymous - 30/01/2010 07:04 - United States

Today, I was driving home and stopped at a light. A cute guy in the truck ahead of me waved me forward and told me to roll down my window. It was the first time a cute guy had talked to me in a while so I was pretty excited. He told me to turn my lights on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 241

You deserved it 10 164

By lrn2road - 24/06/2014 15:04 - United States - Sacramento

Today, I was screamed at by a lady for riding my bike too slowly in front of her car. I was in the bike lane, and so was she. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 394

You deserved it 4 521

By trixanne - 06/01/2015 20:57 - Australia - Sydney

Today, anticipating another stressful day of work, I went to leave my house with a cluster of thoughts in my mind. It was only when I heard my front door lock behind me, my hand still resting on the handle, that I realised I had forgotten my house keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 158

You deserved it 3 762

By Anonymous - 23/06/2009 05:28 - United States

Today, my mom went to a psychic. The reason? She has convinced herself that I'm gay, even though I've told her that I'm not and never have been. The psychic disagreed. Apparently, I'm bicurious with one of my guy friends. Guess who my mom believes? FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 765

You deserved it 3 668

Fashion blogger

By Alyssa - 27/04/2020 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was scrolling through my Instagram timeline and saw a picture of my friend in a ridiculous wig. I left a comment telling her how stupid the wig looked, but how great it was to have a friend with a sense of humour. She replied, telling me it wasn't a wig, it was her new hairstyle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 622

You deserved it 1 884

By millie219 - 13/08/2012 15:20 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, my mother screamed at my boyfriend, calling him an "evil piece of self-centred trash". He's a sweet guy who does volunteer work for kids with learning difficulties. She's a bitter, passive-aggressive telemarketer who constantly harasses her own family with sales calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 304

You deserved it 2 171

By Anonymous - 25/11/2014 20:15 - United States

Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 854

You deserved it 3 107

Good morning!

By 3lavyaa - 07/10/2009 12:31 - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up and the sun was blinding me through my attic window. I have no blinds so I got a poster from my wall and stuck it to the wood on my window with nails. Turn's out I have woodrot, and my entire window fell out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 940

You deserved it 4 757

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Top comments

FMLsOhilarious 6

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Friday 23 December 2011 8:24

You certainly are the brightest crayon in the box

EddiE_CN 8

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Friday 23 December 2011 8:34

I suggest you invest in some glasses.

trollfaced 2

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Friday 23 December 2011 8:23

Win!

cruxx 0

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Friday 23 December 2011 8:30

While playing sims.

maz255 10

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Friday 23 December 2011 8:32

Tigger from Winnie the pooh scares the crap outta me too...

clcbjj31 0

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Friday 23 December 2011 8:38

Q: Ya' know what really grinds my gears? A: People who use still use "win" in random situations that make no sense at all.

KelpForBrains 0

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Friday 23 December 2011 8:39

Hi Sirin

xSonic 9

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Friday 23 December 2011 8:48

Dude....you're so far up Perdix's ass we can't even see your legs anymore

enonymous 8

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Friday 23 December 2011 9:46

And on the other side of the cage the Tiger was thinking 'Awesome self-tenderizing dinners!'

chris19sn 4

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Friday 23 December 2011 10:13

Here's a thought, just spitballing here but, why not watch where you're going. I know it's crazy, but crazy enough to work.

OWNZ 0

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Friday 23 December 2011 10:46

Sounds like someone is helmet special!

Mitcha857 0

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Friday 23 December 2011 10:59

In response to both OP and poster #1.. "What is your major malfunction numbnuts?!"

ATSViper 15

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Friday 23 December 2011 11:50

Family Guy ftw

whadupdoe 0

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Friday 23 December 2011 8:24

idiot!

xXxIracebethxXx 14

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Friday 23 December 2011 9:01

Obviously...? Much like you.

StoryOfTheYear 13

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Friday 23 December 2011 9:02

^^^ Way to be judgmental.

xXxIracebethxXx 14

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Friday 23 December 2011 9:03

Oh, really? How so?

StoryOfTheYear 13

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Friday 23 December 2011 9:09

Well, you made a judgement about someone. That's what being judgmental means.

xXxIracebethxXx 14

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Friday 23 December 2011 9:13

Cool. To quit your defensive bitching, you want your baby formula now or later?

sexxxysydney 14

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Friday 23 December 2011 9:15

Really? Everyone on this site it pretty damn judgmental. Soo if that bothers you, gtfo.

StoryOfTheYear 13

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Friday 23 December 2011 9:22

65-Lolwtf? 67- I think I'll be ok.

StoryOfTheYear 13

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Friday 23 December 2011 10:11

It'll be there once we destroy it.

farnsworth 3

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Friday 23 December 2011 12:59

Good news everyone! I've invented a paradox oh fuck it.

AyeTee77 18

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Friday 23 December 2011 13:43

FU ALL

xleanne_aLly 23

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Friday 23 December 2011 15:36

Haha sketch.

ladiesman219 4

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Friday 23 December 2011 8:24

Invisible tiger got out

ladiesman219 4

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Friday 23 December 2011 8:30

That was a catastrophe!

ladiesman219 4

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Friday 23 December 2011 8:38

and that's where midgets came from

FMLsOhilarious 6

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Friday 23 December 2011 8:24

You certainly are the brightest crayon in the box

derpster 7

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Friday 23 December 2011 8:33

he's the white crayon. nobody likes that thing.

moop256 10

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Friday 23 December 2011 9:04

When I was a kid we couldn't even afford white crayons. We had white wax writing sticks.

JustAGuy18 0

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Friday 23 December 2011 8:25

Seriously stop driving. Use your dang insurance money on taxi. F...king costing up people insurances because of your stupidity.

EddiE_CN 8

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Friday 23 December 2011 8:34

I suggest you invest in some glasses.

Sirin_fml 46

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Friday 23 December 2011 8:34

Maybe he meant the OP should spend his face insurance payout on taxi fares. Are you high?

wheel4deal 5

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Friday 23 December 2011 8:37

I feel like this happens to u a lot.

cruxx 0

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Friday 23 December 2011 8:39

His must have really wrecked that wall.. With his face

JustAGuy18 0

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Friday 23 December 2011 8:39

28- Yes it does. $hit happens, move on. No need to troll over how idiot I was to misread.

wheel4deal 5

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Friday 23 December 2011 8:41

Ur fault u misread not mine.

JustAGuy18 0

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Friday 23 December 2011 8:44

Who said / or gave you the idea it was your fault? Other than that, I admitted it? ......

wheel4deal 5

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Friday 23 December 2011 8:55

U misread the fml. Ur fault

VoteForTaco 8

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Friday 23 December 2011 9:26

-6. "Today, I RAN full speed....."

wheel4deal 5

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Friday 23 December 2011 9:30

How bout no.

StoryOfTheYear 13

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Friday 23 December 2011 9:31

6- That is the most brutally butchered comment I've ever read.

lifesucks1234567_fml 2

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Friday 23 December 2011 10:31

Lmao wtf 6

sarcasticbitch 7

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Friday 23 December 2011 13:21

I assume that he thinks that OP run into the brick wall with his car.

Seth2014 0

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Friday 23 December 2011 15:31

59 I don't even know #51 but I'm on his side cause I hate grammar nazis just like u!

HogwartsDropout7 0

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Friday 23 December 2011 16:13

I bet your amount of stupidity trumps their stupidity.

shadystyle 6

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Saturday 24 December 2011 0:07

take enough steroids and you may be able to kill your own brain cells...oh wait

bubblepaarty 5

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Friday 23 December 2011 8:26

YDI. how does that even happen??

tmrwisanotherday 1

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Friday 23 December 2011 8:27

Was the tiger pissing him self laughing?

Damien1398 4

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Friday 23 December 2011 8:27

Well if you saw a tiger that's perfectly reasonable

J1hill33 12

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Friday 23 December 2011 8:38

But the tiger was in a cage.

randomguy1millon_fml 0

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Friday 23 December 2011 8:27

Run from the big pussy!

abbyhoneywaffles 11

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Friday 23 December 2011 8:27

You're pretty dumb, to be honest.

Nearly

Today, it has been 7 years of me submitting FML’s. I don’t know what worse, that I’ve submitted so many of that none have never been featured. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6

You deserved it 5

Today, I spent my 25th birthday crying alone in my room with my baby, because no else seemed to care it was my birthday. My partner and I had a fight the night before and we haven’t spoken or seen each other since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49

You deserved it 12

Spicy

Today, I found out I’m going to be a father, twice over, with two different women. Sisters, in fact. Only one of those sisters is my wife. Should I flee abroad, or walk calmly towards the firing squad straight away? FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 1 295

Today, my boyfriend finally told me after over two years together that the reason we only have sex once a month is because my stomach is, “off-putting”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 812

You deserved it 180

Hey there!

Bunged up

Contagion

ACAB

Fashion blogger

Good morning!

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