Today, I went to the circus with my family. When we were looking at the animals during the break, an elephant took my purse with his trunk and ate it. It crushed my cellphone, camera, keys and wallet. After that, the circus director yelled at me for feeding poisonous stuff to his elephant. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, I took my kids to the circus. We were having fun, right up until the point they saw an old man dressed as a clown, at which point they screamed, grabbed onto my shorts, and managed to accidentally pull them down. FML
Today, I learned that Guru Tugginmypudha was right, two elephants humping is the ultimate distraction, as in, when two elephants started humping during my kids' trip to the zoo, a mad crowd of idiots rushed to watch, and somewhere in the middle of it all I clearly felt a pickpocket steal my wallet. FML
Today, I went to the zoo to see all of my favorite animals. When I got there, I realized they must've all been on strike or something, and refused to come out of their enclosures. FML
Today, I was attacked by clowns at work. I don't work at the circus. FML
Today, I took my daughter to the zoo. I threw a piece of my sandwich towards a very cute chimpanzee. As a thank you, he threw a piece of crap at me, which exploded all over my shirt. FML
Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML
Today, my family and I went to feed carrots to the giraffes at the zoo. After I finished my first cup of carrots, I turned back to get some more. Suddenly, I was jerked back and a chunk of my hair was ripped out. The giraffe mistook the orange barrette in my hair for a carrot. FML
Today, I went to eat out. When I sat down, I realized I forgot my straw. I took my purse with me, not wanting it to get stolen. Someone stole my food instead. FML
Today, my family and I went to a beach where you could swim with dolphins. I was a little scared to swim with them so the trainers had a five minute chat to me about how they were harmless creatures. Once I got in, the dolphin attacked me and bit me. FML
Today, I ran full speed into a brick wall because I saw a tiger. On the other side of a zoo cage. FML
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Top comments
thatgirlinoregon 21
At least it didn't take your shoe!
Paco_el_Taco 17
Look at it this way, now you don't have to carry all that shit around with you.
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Comments (140)
tony1891 22
you're serious? I would have punched that guy in the face. what an asshat.
lonelyharts86 8
That's pretty funny. It was probably the elephant's way of giving the finger to everyone for making it perform in a circus.
bunniex1 11
DUMBO HAS GONE WILD
laden_swallow09 35
Do NOT remind me of his mother in the mad elephant cage! That scene still makes me cry…
Hed_Hunter 2
This FML goes well with your name OP :)
Shrouds 14
dada dara da da dah dah circus
georgina_rmrz 5
It's your fault for supporting those places that conduct animal abuse..
Calyx_fml 22
YDI for patronizing a circus that features trained elephants. Trained elephants are always abused with hooks and bully sticks. It's pretty sad.
fthku 13
Don't go to circuses with animals. They are all cruel and completely unnatural for them. I honestly can't believe that in these modern times things animal circuses still exist, and that people still don't have any awareness regarding the cruelty involved in it- or the more unfortunate option, that they simply don't care. Also, as some people have stated, if you're that close to the elephant, it's way too dangerous. People seem to think of elephants as these gentle giants, but it's very much the opposite. Elephants are incredibly dangerous, as much as they are unpredictable.
iluvpm1999 1
Sue them
angelinaanimerg 7
You and the person who's purse got grabbed from under a bathroom stall should meet up