Animals: Today, I went to the circus with my family. When we were looking...

By ILoveAnimals - 11/06/2012 07:14 - Austria - Vienna

Today, I went to the circus with my family. When we were looking at the animals during the break, an elephant took my purse with his trunk and ate it. It crushed my cellphone, camera, keys and wallet. After that, the circus director yelled at me for feeding poisonous stuff to his elephant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 760

You deserved it 5 539

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Same thing different taste

Freakout

By SheaLili - 07/08/2011 17:14 - United States

Today, I took my kids to the circus. We were having fun, right up until the point they saw an old man dressed as a clown, at which point they screamed, grabbed onto my shorts, and managed to accidentally pull them down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 483

You deserved it 3 417

Opportunity knocks

By Anonymous - 20/05/2023 22:00

Today, I learned that Guru Tugginmypudha was right, two elephants humping is the ultimate distraction, as in, when two elephants started humping during my kids' trip to the zoo, a mad crowd of idiots rushed to watch, and somewhere in the middle of it all I clearly felt a pickpocket steal my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 709

You deserved it 143

Animal union

By Anonymous - 01/02/2023 10:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I went to the zoo to see all of my favorite animals. When I got there, I realized they must've all been on strike or something, and refused to come out of their enclosures. FML

I agree, your life sucks 582

You deserved it 252

Get them away from me

By Anonymous - 08/02/2011 16:27 - United States

Today, I was attacked by clowns at work. I don't work at the circus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 984

You deserved it 3 744

By Thanks - 27/11/2009 23:36 - United Kingdom

Today, I took my daughter to the zoo. I threw a piece of my sandwich towards a very cute chimpanzee. As a thank you, he threw a piece of crap at me, which exploded all over my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 320

You deserved it 49 561

By Betchsadface - 13/07/2010 04:34 - United States

Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 769

You deserved it 10 785

By Anonymous - 29/07/2013 08:19 - United States - Crystal Lake

Today, my family and I went to feed carrots to the giraffes at the zoo. After I finished my first cup of carrots, I turned back to get some more. Suddenly, I was jerked back and a chunk of my hair was ripped out. The giraffe mistook the orange barrette in my hair for a carrot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 632

You deserved it 10 643

By Anonymous - 17/04/2009 11:49 - Malaysia

Today, my family and I went to a beach where you could swim with dolphins. I was a little scared to swim with them so the trainers had a 5 minute chat to me about how they were harmless creatures. Once I got in, the dolphin attacked me and bit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 800

You deserved it 7 553

By pplsuck - 25/09/2012 23:57 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I went to eat out. When I sat down, I realized I forgot my straw. I took my purse with me, not wanting it to get stolen. Someone stole my food instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 312

You deserved it 2 774

By steve - 23/12/2011 03:02 - United States

Today, I ran full speed into a brick wall because I saw a tiger. On the other side of a zoo cage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 437

You deserved it 35 834

thatgirlinoregon 21

Monday 11 June 2012 16:06

At least it didn't take your shoe!

Paco_el_Taco 17

Monday 11 June 2012 16:08

Look at it this way, now you don't have to carry all that shit around with you.

Comments

cavy102 10

Tuesday 12 June 2012 1:09

Bullshit. Elephants are more intelligent than that.

LN666 2

Tuesday 12 June 2012 2:07

Deserves you right for going to an animal circus.

penerrs 0

Tuesday 12 June 2012 4:11

I'm sorry but I think this is fake

Shit_talkin_chik 5

Tuesday 12 June 2012 5:37

What you expect from the circus freaks?

harley50 0

Tuesday 12 June 2012 9:15

Dadadaadaaduhduhduhduhhhhduhhhh AFRO CIRCUS AFRO CIRCUS!!!!

1crabbygirl 10

Tuesday 12 June 2012 12:27

He's bluffing. Make him pay for your sh**.

DopeyDora 7

Tuesday 12 June 2012 14:07

This is clearly a Judge Judy case. Sue them.

mosquito19 14

Tuesday 12 June 2012 14:22

you are supporting animal abuse by going to the circus.

tirkovo76 6

Tuesday 12 June 2012 14:42

Circus director sounds like an ass :/

Sandman578737 0

Tuesday 12 June 2012 16:24

You think you feel bad op how do you think Dumbo will feel in a few hours. Poor guy

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The Top

Today, I found out that my ex-boyfriend, whom I'd been in love with since I was 19, wants to be back with his baby momma. His dad, after finding out that he has cancer, offered to marry me and adopt my kids to collect his SSI checks in case he dies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

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Today, I was eating ice cream and struggling to chew a particularly hard chunk of chocolate. After finally breaking it into pieces, I spat it out because it tasted terrible. Then I discovered that I was missing my temporary crown. Now I have no upper molar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 195

You deserved it 6 415

The Top

Today, when I was laying in my bed, I looked on the opposite side and saw a spider the size of my palm staring at me. And if that wasn't bad, I found out it hops. I still can't find it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 364

You deserved it 2 080

Today, I had to give a speech in front of my class and during my speech I had to say the words "But six"; however, because of my accent it sounded like "Butt sex". For the remainder of the day I was frequently asked about "Butt sex". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 504

You deserved it 3 220

Today, I was on Facebook, looking at pictures from a party I went to. In most of them, I was sitting on the sofa, my shorts bunched to the side, with half my vajayjay on show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 851

You deserved it 67 373

Today, while I was standing in line at the store, some guy insulted the girl in front of me as he walked past. She turned around and socked me in the face. FML

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You deserved it 2 189

Today, I played a table tennis final in public. After winning, I went to shake my opponent's hand. He doesn't react or move. It was only the first set. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 166

You deserved it 12 303

Today, after having some great, intimate phone sex with my boyfriend, he immediately said, "Well, gotta go," and hung up. Thanks for making me feel like some sort of phone-hooker, dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 243

You deserved it 596