Today, my family and I went to feed carrots to the giraffes at the zoo. After I finished my first cup of carrots, I turned back to get some more. Suddenly, I was jerked back and a chunk of my hair was ripped out. The giraffe mistook the orange barrette in my hair for a carrot. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went to a petting zoo to take pictures. I look down to see a goat chewing the sleeve of my new sweater, so as I reached down to get it loose, it started eating my hair. People took pictures of me wrestling the goat before they helped me. FML
Today, while petting one of the goats we have, the other one was jealous so it ripped out a chunk of my hair. FML
Today, I took my daughter to the zoo. I threw a piece of my sandwich towards a very cute chimpanzee. As a thank you, he threw a piece of crap at me, which exploded all over my shirt. FML
Today, I was shaving my underarms, when I heard a noise. I quickly turned my head to see what it was and got the razor caught in my hair. I'm now sporting a very attractive bald patch. FML
Today, I took my kids to the petting zoo and my toddler decided to feed the goats her entire bag of popcorn. The goats swarmed her and stole her shoes. FML
Today, I went to a petting zoo with my niece and nephew. While we were checking out the llamas, one of them spat directly into my face. Disgusted and embarrassed, we turned away to pet a deer. The deer immediately urinated, then shook its tail, which splattered it into my face. FML
Today, I went to the circus with my family. When we were looking at the animals during the break, an elephant took my purse with his trunk and ate it. It crushed my cellphone, camera, keys and wallet. After that, the circus director yelled at me for feeding poisonous stuff to his elephant. FML
Today, I tried to use a fancy new hairstyling tool and ended up getting my hair tangled in it. I had to cut a chunk of my hair off to free myself. FML
Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML
Today, while working at the zoo, I noticed a boy throwing candy into the warthog's exhibit. The fastest way to get there was to go through the exhibit, and speak to the kid from inside. I must have said three words when a lollipop hit me in the eye. Then the warthog peed on me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
AustinDenton 22
Haha!! Sorry but that is funny. I bet the giraffe was just as disappointed as you.
DerrickJames 33
This is how we get those crazy hazard signs. This one will read: No orange barrettes next to the giraffes. No one will know why either.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (79)
thompson45acp 14
That must have hurt.
ottokat 15
No, it was really pleasurable to have her hair forcibly uprooted from her scalp.
allie2590 31
Hey, some people might be into that.
gubi_fml 9
Hey don't listen to those people #1 you were just pointing that out dome people are dicks
AustinDenton 22
Haha!! Sorry but that is funny. I bet the giraffe was just as disappointed as you.
DerrickJames 33
This is how we get those crazy hazard signs. This one will read: No orange barrettes next to the giraffes. No one will know why either.
BntyHntrSeattle 30
Except us :O
BellaBelle_fml 23
How about the warning label on curling irons that read, "Caution: External use only." Which one of you sick bastards made that necessary?!
austinj776 3
this comment made me die laughing
ikilledaman 9
oh wow, that sucks. i hope that giraffe digests it ok...
asb818 14
I love that your concern is for the giraffe and not the OP. Can giraffes cough up hairballs...with barrettes?
Crometer 23
Hope your hair regrows quickly and the giraffe is ok, that sounds painful.
Wizardo 34
Sounds like the giraffe was captive-ated by your beret, sounds like things *takes of sunglasses* got a little wild.
psychotics101 9
YYYYEEEEAAAHHH!!!!!!
hienzburgess 9
that comment was hot!!!
buddy51 23
Once a giraffe develops a taste for human hair, they can never be trusted around hairy zoo visitors again!!
Dodge4x4Ram 46
people like me who shave my head have nothing to worry
Blizzards 13
Yeah, you just have to worry about being scalped instead!
wannabesinger 16
Pretty sure giraffe's are color blind, so the fact that your barrette was orange probably had nothing to do with it. I'm also surprised your hair was ripped out, because giraffe's use their tongues to bring the food to their mouth. Your hair was probably tugged, but I really think you're exaggerating. Besides, you're the one that turned your back on a wild animal.
wannabesinger 16
Still seems like an exaggeration to me.
RonnieG 10
we don't know what kind of clip it was. nor the texture of the OPs hair. my wife has some that even when she takes them out, they still rip some hair out. I can't imagine if a giraffe yanked it out with their tounge.
tfriedrich49 9
Owned
geekchick88 17
*giraffes Why the unnecessary apostrophes?
hcollins1 18
How do you know she's exaggerating or what kind of barrette she was using? Yea giraffes use their tongue, but it could've grabbed a chunk of OPs hair. Just stop trying to look like you know everything, obviously you don't.
azwethinkweiz87 11
Guessing a giraffe tongue is pretty strong seeing as they can strip leaves off branches? Most animals can see some colours, some more so than humans and some less.
ms_zoe 8
I really wish I could thumbs up the staffs' comments, especially on this thread.
wannabesinger 16
Sorry #34 that was my bad. Typed too fast.
tygerarmy 35
Hey, where's the Creme filling?
hcollins1 18
What kind of carrots do you eat? Last time I checked they don't have creme filling.
strawberrywine22 30
38 - it's called a joke, honey, based on a Hostess commercial.