Miscellaneous: Today, I was pushing my wheelchair-bound grandpa back home, when...

By hé merde - 23/02/2014 02:27 - France - Paris

Today, I was pushing my wheelchair-bound grandpa back home, when a pretty girl walked past us in the opposite direction. He made me stop and turn him around, just so he could check her ass out as she walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 912

You deserved it 4 979

Miscellaneous

Dysfunctional

Own it

Keep some things to yourself

By Thank you, exactly what I wanted Sergeant - 21/08/2016 13:53

Today, my drill sergeant found out it's my birthday. I spent the rest of the day scrubbing large, filthy pots for the entire base of 2000+ and scrubbing grime off of bathroom walls. Happy birthday to me! FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 467

You deserved it 1 554

By Anonymous - 16/12/2009 19:28 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of over a year told me that he will never marry me because we are different ethnicities and his parents don't approve. I was of course very upset and crying. His way to comfort me was by saying, "Don't worry, I will always cheat on my wife with you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 806

You deserved it 3 703

By wtf - 15/07/2009 05:04 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were chatting on MSN. He had to go run down to the corner market but left his webcam on. Shortly after he left I watched his mother steal 60 dollars out of his wallet. He doesn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 709

You deserved it 3 403

Unwelcome

By kaipodable - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that I can no longer sleep over at his house because his cat doesn't like it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 710

You deserved it 4 608

By I warned him - 19/12/2014 02:39 - United States - Marietta

Today, I beat my boyfriend in a video game. He promptly dumped me and told me to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 041

You deserved it 4 618

By Anonymous - 17/07/2011 08:43 - United States

Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 311

You deserved it 22 520

By Anonyme - 22/06/2016 05:15 - Switzerland - Geneve

Today, I was trying to seduce a really good-looking girl, when all of a sudden she leaned in towards me and said, “Sorry, I’m not drunk enough to make out with you.“ FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 681

You deserved it 3 365

By Shelbs - 05/11/2011 23:35 - United States

Today, I went to get the vaccination my college requires of all students. The nurse looked at my charts and told me there was good and bad news. The good news was that I didn't need the shot. The bad news was I needed four others. Now, both of my arms are swollen enough to make Popeye proud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 338

You deserved it 3 789

By sickened - 21/09/2014 18:23 - United Kingdom - Gateshead

Today, I had a garage sale, and had amongst my clothing a few sets of underwear. A old man came up and asked to buy all of them. I'm so poor, I couldn't say no to the pervert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 784

You deserved it 8 286

Don't let me be misunderstood

By sadfacemaking - 20/07/2021 08:01

Today, my boyfriend bought me a ring for my birthday. My dad now refuses to talk to me, because he thinks I'm engaged. My boyfriend thinks it's funny, because he'd never marry me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 102

You deserved it 110

Movie night

By heartbrokenl12453 - 27/10/2019 12:00

Today, my girlfriend decided that the best place to break up with me was during a movie about two couples breaking up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 554

You deserved it 118

By Anonymous - 11/05/2009 03:28 - Canada

Today, my fiancé proposed to me at the movies. The movie stopped in the middle, and my fiancé stands up, takes out a microphone and announces to the entire theatre that he loves me. Right when he went on one knee, someone shouts, "Turn the movie back on!", and throws a cup of coke at my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 436

You deserved it 16 130

Thanks, I guess

By joAnne - 03/03/2009 21:36 - United States

Today, I went to visit my fiancé's dying grandmother in the hospital with him. She started talking to us about living each day to the fullest. His grandmother points to me and says, "Life is short. That's why you don't waste any time screwing girls who look like that." FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 601

You deserved it 4 139

By Person - 11/11/2016 02:04

Today, my cousin invited me to an event that would be on Saturday night. The first thing I did after she texted me, was ask my mom if I could go. I'm 20. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 400

You deserved it 2 207

By Lame - 10/07/2011 00:19 - United States

Today, I was robbed by a guy wearing a ninja turtle costume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 868

You deserved it 6 783

By Asian - 07/02/2016 19:03 - United States - Clover

Today, I was asked to prove that I was Chinese by translating the phrase, "Ching chong ming chang ho". I'm not even Chinese. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 871

You deserved it 1 855

By poorgary - 18/12/2008 11:46 - France

Today, it's my birthday. It's 6.30 pm. I'm still the only person aware of what day it is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 750

You deserved it 2 706

By Anonymous - 05/08/2011 22:57 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend admitted that on his last visit, he snuck into the laundry and stole a lacy black thong he assumed was mine. It wasn't. It was my dad's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 615

You deserved it 3 870

Libido says no

By Anonymous - 16/08/2021 05:01 - United Kingdom - Norwich

Today, I discovered my girlfriend of 5 years would rather split up than make any shred of effort to revive her utterly dead libido from the last 2 years. She promised the whole past month to make an effort, before admitting she never gave a shit when my patience with her ran out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 248

You deserved it 456

By motheroftwo - 06/01/2010 08:41 - Norway

Today, while standing by the kitchen window I noticed a mouse running across our lawn on top of the snow. I called my two daughters to come see it, but by the time they got to the window a hawk was shredding the poor thing to pieces. My kids didn't stop crying for two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 571

You deserved it 6 655

By lilithfaye - 02/11/2012 16:35 - United States

Today, my newly ex-fiancé, the father of my 5-year-old child, moved out of state with no warning. I just spent my last $500 paying off his car, and the rent is due tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 568

You deserved it 6 216

Cracking

By Jennifer Sara Harms - 01/02/2021 05:01 - Canada

Today, I was so stressed out from my ex harassing me that I took a chewable pill that’s made for anxiety and it broke my tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 94

By samantha - 17/08/2019 06:02 - United States

Today, I found out that after using several types of birth control, and being paranoid about pregnancy, I've been infertile for years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 939

You deserved it 178

By Anonymous - 31/05/2009 17:34 - United States

Today, I had a pretty big erection while getting checked out at the airport. The security guard was scanning my potentially "dangerous" erection for at least one long minute in front of my wife, kids, and 20 people behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 453

You deserved it 13 075

By Hobbsie - 29/08/2010 04:54 - Canada

Today, my dad walked in on me singing "Bohemian Rhapsody", while spinning in circles with the cat in my arms. I thought I was home alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 447

You deserved it 29 976

By pleasedontyellatme - 20/10/2016 15:19

Today, my parents finally took me driving after months of me having my permit. I got yelled at for asking questions. I only needed to know which way they wanted me to turn on the next street after they told me to turn, but not which way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 011

You deserved it 713

By Anonymous - 16/01/2011 17:18 - United Kingdom

Today, I bleached my hair. Not only did it fry, it also has a very noticeable green tint and because of the damage, I can't dye it again for a while. Now I keep getting asked "Why so serious?" by my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 361

You deserved it 32 669

By lojo - 17/06/2009 04:02 - United States

Today, I was flying home to Milwaukee after a weekend in South Carolina. When I got to the airport, my reservation didn't match up with any flights. Turns out Expedia booked me on a flight that doen't exist. I spent ten hours waiting in the airport for a two hour flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 416

You deserved it 3 128

By disappointed - 20/09/2013 16:30 - Canada - Waterloo

Today, I walked in on my daughter shaving her boyfriend's nuts. Apparently, he'd snuck in through her window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 915

You deserved it 6 085

By Baegel - 02/03/2016 01:52 - United States - Havertown

Today, my psycho ex defaced my car. She didn't key it or slash my tires. She posted "TRUMP 2016" bumper stickers all over it. I don't know what glue they use, but it's been 2 hours and I haven't gotten any of them off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 835

You deserved it 2 352

By thwack - 24/05/2012 18:26 - United States

Today, during a workplace safety exercise at work, I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 030

You deserved it 3 970

Help!

By Anonymous - 23/04/2013 11:25 - United States

Today, my pregnant wife paged my emergency line at work. Thinking she was in serious danger, I raced home and found her hysterically crying. When I asked her what was going on, she replied, "The dogs won't stop barking!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 885

You deserved it 6 399

Fucking Stevie T

By Anonymous - 09/06/2021 08:01

Today, I was happy to take a break and do a guitar performance, but my teacher was the rudest ever. He had his guitar at the front row, playing while I was, and he played the song live with me just to confuse me, and ending up ruining the performance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 802

You deserved it 92

By Anonymous - 03/03/2013 18:03 - Germany - Augsburg

Today, I was awkwardly taking a dump at work, when a coworker in another stall started talking shit to me about our boss. I grunted and agreed, hoping he'd shut up and leave me alone. That's when a third guy sarcastically chimed in with insults from a third stall. It was our boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 844

You deserved it 11 177

By lifelike - 29/10/2012 04:23 - United States - Oroville

Today, after weeks of wondering if my cat has a fetish for licking my bed covers, I finally witnessed him licking up an ant off of the covers. Turns out that my bed is infested with ants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 790

You deserved it 5 349

Neverending story

By Anonymous - 09/07/2021 11:01

Today, it's my birthday. We were supposed to be going to a nice Italian restaurant at 6.30 p.m. Instead, the whole region is going into a snap lockdown from 6 p.m., due to the recent community transmissions of Covid-19. Happy Birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 818

You deserved it 105

By Loser - 04/05/2009 20:15 - Canada

Today, I decided to modify my resume since I've handed out over 30 of them in the past couple of weeks and I haven't gotten any calls back. As soon as I opened it on word document, I noticed that I had forgotten to include my phone number for employers to contact me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 402

You deserved it 73 983

By Anonymous - 20/01/2011 20:05 - United States

Today, I dozed off during a lecture. When I woke up, I didn't recognize any of the people surrounding me, and I saw one guy pointing and laughing at me. It turns out, my professor instructed everyone to let me sleep because he wanted to see how long it would be before I woke up. I was asleep three hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 038

You deserved it 34 161

By vegeta - 24/12/2018 20:00

Today, I’ve been getting sexy messages from an unknown number. First I told her to stop multiple times, then I blocked her. I can only assume that she changed her number and managed to find me and message me again. My girlfriend saw the messages and told me flatly “It’s over.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 910

You deserved it 190

By Stumble - 17/01/2010 04:43 - United States

Today, my 6-year-old cousin came to my door, demanding canned food. I asked him what for, and he said, "Dad said I needed them for a school project." I said all right, and he started raiding my pantry. I was left with only green beans. He stole all my Spaghetti O's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 296

You deserved it 27 583

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Top comments

beehardxcore 26

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Saturday 23 February 2013 5:25

Your grandpa is a badass. Hats off to him!

Snowkeys 11

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Saturday 23 February 2013 5:27

I hope my grandson will do it without being asked.

beehardxcore 26

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Saturday 23 February 2013 5:25

Your grandpa is a badass. Hats off to him!

AugustBurnsToast 14

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Saturday 23 February 2013 7:58

He seems to still be young at heart. For all that he's probably gone through in the many years that he has lived, he deserves a show.

vehementbitch 4

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Saturday 23 February 2013 8:58

Grandparents arent as innocent as we think they are.

zandalee 19

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Saturday 23 February 2013 11:38

Of course their not! They have had years and year of practice on being badass! ;)

AKGirlinSD 20

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Saturday 23 February 2013 12:06

It's rare to see a grandpa, checking out a pretty lady, so bluntly. I'd love to have a grandpa like that!

sodapop83 14

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Saturday 23 February 2013 18:12

There should be an old people category on FML

stellasue11 38

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Tuesday 4 October 2016 6:07

way to go grandpa! !

kerrwoof 13

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Saturday 23 February 2013 5:25

Old men still need to take a peek.

man_in_black08 28

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Saturday 23 February 2013 5:58

hey we share birthdays :)

Livestrong14 7

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Saturday 23 February 2013 5:26

Dirty old man.

then000bster 16

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Saturday 23 February 2013 7:25

I guess he needs a sponge bath.

zandalee 19

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Saturday 23 February 2013 11:40

Are you offering?

VelvetRain 6

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Saturday 23 February 2013 11:50

I bet he looks like Master Roshi.

ddlovatolover 23

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Saturday 23 February 2013 15:24

77, or he could ask the nurse from a few FMLs back to clean OP's grandpa's "man meat".

Vanillanougat 14

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Saturday 23 February 2013 5:26

Grandpa's Got Game XD

MrSassypants 32

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Saturday 23 February 2013 6:09

He even has twenty-four inch rims on his wheelchair which are always spinning.

PuggieKid 22

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Saturday 23 February 2013 7:11

They see me rolling.. They hatin' ...

desoto96 9

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Saturday 23 February 2013 7:57

If he had game she'd be riding on his wheel chair.

obnum 19

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Saturday 23 February 2013 21:33

I enjoyed your alliteration there #4. :)

animalover721 3

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Saturday 23 February 2013 5:27

Looks like grandpa isn't too old for anything...

DyslexicPanda 12

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Saturday 23 February 2013 8:27

Ya know, except walking...

PincessBoff 6

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Saturday 23 February 2013 13:29

Oh my god 55 that's so fucked up and rude I can't believe you'd say something lik-just kidding it was hilarious and I loved it.

Snowkeys 11

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Saturday 23 February 2013 5:27

I hope my grandson will do it without being asked.

superxmario91 11

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Saturday 23 February 2013 5:30

did you hi-five him!?

alexafml 5

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Saturday 23 February 2013 5:31

Aww, that's cute. At least he didn't try to touch/say something pervy to the girl. He has lived his life and learned few things are as precious,sexy, sensual or beautiful as a woman's curves.