By Z'ev - United States - New York
Today, I went to get my car fixed. There was a vending machine in the waiting room, and I was hungry. The snacks were overpriced, but I still had a little money left over. I noticed a bag of Cheetos hanging loose, so I paid for them, hoping to get two bags. They both got stuck. FML
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By  gracehi  |  31

This is why I always carry anti-zombie device. It comes in handy in all kinds of situations, such as this one, not just the unlikely event of a sudden zombie apocalypse.

  gracehi  |  31

You know. The handy-dandy anti-zombie device. You don't have one? Boy, are you behind the times.
Btw, *my anti-zombie device, if that accidental omission is the source of your confusion.

  gracehi  |  31

As advertised, you can also use the handy-dandy anti-zombie device to not only destroy zombies, but muggers, rapists, and withholding vending machines. I got mine for six easy payments of $19.95 plus shipping and handling. You should really look into it. I am a very satisfied costumer myself.

By  perdix  |  29

So, you tried to steal the bag that belonged to the poor schmuck before you?

Serves you right, ya crook. If you succeeded, they would have caught you orange-handed!