Just don't try to resume the diet by putting it back.

I guess I should have referred to it as a weight-loss technique instead of a diet.

No more gas station egg salad sandwiches for you! Even if they do make you incredibly intelligent, dexterous and slim.

Gas station sushi.

You obviously didn't get the reference........

Diet of Worms guys.... Come on. Nobody got the reference?

It's tape worm you dumb ****. Grow up, Jesus Christ.

156- Are you telling Jesus Christ to grow up? I don't think he reads FML's...

Futurama .... Only for cool people

#143- I did!

#156 Dont need to be an asshole.

It's not a tape worm! It's a nematode aka roundworm.

That's hilarious. ppl on here are so uptight.

Or a Oligochaetologist

Or go fishing

Psh whaaaaa that's logical... Just drink a ton of liquor and it'll kill what ever is in you. Remember kids a healthy person is a shitfaced one.

#40 I like the way you think

Where is that doc bastard when ya need him?!?!

I'm reading this while on the john, I'm afraid to get up and look.

No way, 2! Just let the worms work their magic! He'll be playing the holophoner in no time!

Use the worms as bait for when you go fishing

What's he going to do? Shit on the fish. Yeah, no.

I think he was implying that OP take the worm out of the toilet.

#168 haha futurama was life!

Screw the doctor, go to the ER. Worms are nasty and dealing with doctor appointments just takes too long for this situation.

it's just an intestinal worm, you're making it sound like it's a blood or brain worm. You've been watching too many episodes of 'monsters inside me'.

Ok, I've never seen it, but just the title gives me the shivers.

Don't worry OP, there's loads of ways to get a parasite like that and they're generally very easy to get rid of. The doctors will fix you up quick.

Don't even need doc, just pop in the chemist and pick up the meds. Also start checking cats/dogs you have and start washing hands more.

doctor who?

4 has got a point this is probably (hopefully) the closest you will ever come to having a kid. You described it as extremely painful and then out popped a new organism. The real mystery here is when was the conception?

That time he ate that Twinkie that fell on the ground, that was when the miraculous cycle of life began.

Wormy :3

I personally haven't seen that movie, but I have seen Dreamcatcher. Go, OP, go!!

This comment wins all the internets.

Lol. Shitty. #isuck

#hashtags don't work on FML...

#9 has good advice, but a bad pun.

9 should **** right off. Too harsh? Didn't think so. Damned shit jokes...

That pun was pretty shitty.

Quick, honey, get the gun! It's alive!

#41: Well, she was initially going to throw up, but decided that throwing down was much more fun.

* threw up

It's an episode of 'I Shouldn't Be Alive' and 'Monsters Inside Me' all rolled into one.