Love: Today, my boyfriend and I are on camping vacation. On my way...

By justash12 - 25/08/2013 09:13 - United States - Kearny

Today, my boyfriend and I are on camping vacation. On my way out of the tent, I stepped in a pile of shit. When I told him, he said, "Oh, I couldn't make it to the bathroom last night." The bathroom was a minute walk from our tent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 751

You deserved it 3 938

justash12 tells us more.

justash12 10

Send a private message

Wednesday 28 August 2013 20:10

OP here following up with some details! I can not get the image of him crouching in front of the tent and taking a shit out of my head! Yes, it was a shitty situation. No, I haven't dumped him. Shoes were on! We were at a public campground, down the shore. The bathrooms have toilets, showers, sinks, and TP.

Love

Age difference

Too Much Information

You tried!

By Anonymoose - 29/09/2014 03:00 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, I came home to a half-shaved dog and a laughing third grader. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 321

You deserved it 4 232

By TheTruthofWomen - 04/11/2013 05:45 - United States

Today, at work, I had to explain to my co-manager at work what a period was, after he refused to let an employee go change her tampon. Afterwards, he panicked, saying he thought women made that up so they didn't have to have sex, before trying to send her to the hospital and fainting. We're 24. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 047

You deserved it 4 648

By Mighty Mouse - 21/05/2017 14:00

Today, I found out the coffee mug my housemate uses to thaw dead mice for his snake is the same mug I use for my morning coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 686

You deserved it 414

White knights

By not a bitch just don’t like you - 10/03/2021 13:59 - United States

Today, once again, I told a guy who’s been hounding me for ages that I’m not interested. After being asked repeatedly and turning him down politely for so long, I finally snapped and cussed his ass out. Now I’m known as "the bitch" for hurting such a "nice guy's" feelings. I need new friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 406

You deserved it 127

By calidumbass - 14/01/2011 19:43 - United States

Today, I had a rude awakening after a traffic accident the day before. I'd fled the scene to avoid having to pay hefty damage fines. I would have gotten away with it too, if my license plate hadn't fallen off and incriminated me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 646

You deserved it 121 371

By Matt - 27/06/2010 18:54 - United States

Today, I went to the dentist. I got a new dentist who started out a conversation about school. She asked where I went to school and if I liked my principal. After I told her I thought he was full of himself, she said she was married to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 764

You deserved it 9 902

By badluck - 21/07/2014 19:31 - Canada - Medicine Hat

Today, I was out with my boyfriend, when he started browsing wedding rings. He found a ring, proposed to me right there in front of a crowd, and then was promptly denied a payment plan. We left without a ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 292

You deserved it 5 734

Friends like these

By Anonymous - 22/08/2021 05:01 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, I found out that my closest friend of many years had been putting on a charade of being my friend, and has decided that they can't be bothered with the effort of me existing any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 759

You deserved it 74

By weliveanddie14 - 07/05/2009 20:27 - United States

Today, I was at the library. I went near the computer section when I saw this man cursing and pounding his fists on a computer. He left. I thought I'd check it out. As I sat down, a librarian came over with the security guard and pointed at me. I'm now being fined for destroying public property. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 784

You deserved it 15 619

Bad blow job

By testacular - 25/03/2014 21:20 - United Kingdom - Plymouth

Today, due to a combination of boredom and a faulty hair dryer, I now have singed pubes and burned balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 623

You deserved it 55 659

By Anonymous - 05/02/2011 17:22 - Canada

Today, I cried harder than I have in years. I was babysitting, and watching Pokémon to pass the time. It was the episode where Ash, Dawn, and Brock on the show went their separate ways, and may never be together again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 870

You deserved it 37 405

By Anonymous - 20/09/2011 23:54 - United States

Today, I found out that I have testicular cancer for the second time in two years, and they may end up removing my last testicle. Knowing full well I was also born with an extra rib, the doctor at the consultation joked, "Hey, you'll be three quarters of the way to being a woman." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 126

You deserved it 2 682

By VidyaGameCollector - 03/05/2019 20:00 - Canada - Port Colborne

Today, because money is a little tight, I decided to sell one of my retro video game consoles. The family member that initially gave me it to me saw the ad on Facebook and demanded I give it back to them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 900

You deserved it 757

By ewww - 25/03/2011 17:31 - United States

Today, I was at the mall with my friends, when a creepy man sat at the table next to us, and started rubbing his crotch, his gaze never leaving my feet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 814

You deserved it 4 191

By Zack - 11/03/2009 18:57 - Israel

Today, I tried to prove to my dad that he snores by secretly putting a tape recorder under his bed. I soon found out my parents had sex that night. Apparently, my mom likes to talk dirty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 130

You deserved it 96 891

By Anonymous - 18/08/2019 00:01 - United States

Today, I found out my mom booked me a flight to stay with relatives who I don't like, and who don't like me. I leave in two days, and don't return until the day before school starts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 663

You deserved it 123

By bastard - 22/12/2013 21:28 - United States

Today, I went to a nativity play. My husband showed up late and drunk, and I had to explain to him why booming "Yeah! Time to get baby Jesus up in this shit!" when our son was about to go on stage got us kicked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 273

You deserved it 4 373

By demk - 20/08/2009 14:51 - United States

Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about to finish he screamed, "Oh shit! It's 4:15, my strawberries are gonna whither!!!!" and then jumped off me and went to check on his farm on FarmVille. An imaginary farm, on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 737

You deserved it 8 028

By jgw - 07/04/2017 00:00

Today, I was certain that over the six years of struggling through my Ph.D., I had culminated in one truly original idea. Until I saw it published in another thesis, from 1953. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 668

You deserved it 668

By Anonymous - 11/06/2019 06:00

Today, I was picking up after my dog with a poo baggie over my hand, like a mitten. Too bad the bottom ripped open and my bare hand poked through it just as I grabbed a big handful of steaming dog turd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 784

You deserved it 288

By neverdateaclosetcase - 17/11/2010 18:16 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend asked me to meet his parents over Christmas. I was ecstatic. But there was one condition: I must go dressed as a girl since he hasn't worked up the nerve to come out to his parents yet. We've been dating for over a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 319

You deserved it 13 493

By Parenting... - 27/08/2013 04:36 - United States - Arlington

Today, I had no choice but to bring my son to work as a med school professor. I sat him in a chair in a corner while I gave a lecture. To my surprise, he added another word to his limited vocabulary, and screamed it out loud with an ecstatic expression on his face. The word is "cancer". FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 951

You deserved it 4 539

By lonely - 01/01/2011 17:11 - United States

Today, I posted on my Facebook wall that I'd gotten into a huge bar fight and had the shit kicked out of me, all to avoid having to tell the truth, namely that I'd stayed home all night because nobody invited me out to party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 025

You deserved it 34 406

Love hurts

By wray16 - 26/02/2021 21:30 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 723

You deserved it 107

By Anonymous - 09/10/2009 22:58 - United States

Today, I was at a local club with my friends sitting at a table when some guys approached us. One of them started telling me about his recent adventures through Europe and was very interesting. Something warm hit my leg and I realized the guy was urinating on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 383

You deserved it 2 792

By TheaterMom - 28/06/2016 11:12 - Germany

Today, after two months of rehersals, an actor in my theater company decided he was unhappy with the role I gave him, so he refuses to perform. We open tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 129

You deserved it 969

Toxic masculinity

By Anonymous - 19/07/2021 07:59

Today, my grandad smacked me on the back of the head, and told me to, "Act like a goddamn man and stop crying." It was at the funeral of my mum and sister, who both died in a car crash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 913

You deserved it 85

By Dildno - 10/12/2016 08:48 - United States - Worcester

Today, I was using my iPad for a presentation. I locked it and left it connected to the projector while I prepared to present. When I turned around to begin, I realized there had been a push notification from Groupon asking if I was still interested in a dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 209

You deserved it 3 621

By Anonymous - 05/11/2009 00:40 - United States

Today, I stepped away from my desk for a few minutes only to return to find the general manager installing updates on my computer. This wouldn't have been an issue had I not pulled up a website explaining in great detail the effects and causes of vaginal yeast infections. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 926

You deserved it 30 657

By Anonymous - 12/06/2014 00:00 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, my roommate's pets conspired against me. "The dog ate my homework" has apparently become too clichéd for them. The new excuses are, "My cat chewed through my laptop power cable" and "the gecko ate my pen drive." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 600

You deserved it 4 875

By IDon't - 13/10/2013 10:49 - Australia - Berkeley Vale

Today, my fiancée told me she can't marry me. Our wedding day is tomorrow and around 20 of our 180 guests attending have travelled half way around the world just for the occasion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 468

You deserved it 3 709

By Jessey - 18/06/2009 13:05 - United Kingdom

Today, we were having a school prize giving. I heard my name called and I walked up to the stage waving and smiling, feeling rather proud of myself. I stood by the microphone and started my acceptance speech, only to be tapped on the shoulder by the girl they actually called up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 750

You deserved it 47 766

By _SouthernClass_ - 29/08/2019 12:00 - United States

Today, my youngest child gave me the cold she had. I also started my period yesterday. Now I can’t stop coughing, and I feel like a human ketchup packet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 767

You deserved it 168

By Anonymous - 24/07/2019 22:00

Today, I found out that I'm not my girlfriend's only boyfriend. The other guy sells shoes on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 510

You deserved it 110

By byebyeromance - 26/08/2014 01:03 - United States - State College

Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 239

You deserved it 5 044

By sysadmin:~# rm -rf / - 12/09/2013 19:40 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, my self-esteem sank so low that I sabotaged my workplace's corporate network, then fixed it, just so I could feel needed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 631

You deserved it 7 400

Overreaction much?

By Anonymous - 15/12/2020 02:02

Today, I accidentally washed the jacket my mother bought me in the washing machine. I didn't know it was supposed to be dry cleaned. My mother ended up crying and screaming that I don't love her, and this would be the last time she ever buys me anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 879

You deserved it 306

By Anonymous - 29/07/2019 12:00

Today, while I was sitting in the living room with my mother, my phone rang. She immediately exclaimed, "I'm not calling you! Why is it going off?" She was serious. My own mother doesn't believe people talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 691

You deserved it 166

By Anonymous - 06/08/2009 00:47 - United States

Today, I borrowed my dad's laptop to type an essay. While I was saving it, I noticed some curious looking files and I opened them. They were rejection letters from all the colleges I had applied to. My dad had been forging them so he wouldn't have to pay for my tuition bills. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 519

You deserved it 3 467

By illjustlimpthen - 25/10/2012 02:44 - United States - Waukesha

Today, despite my pain, my mom still refuses to take me to a foot doctor because, "They all have foot fetishes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 440

You deserved it 1 653

Add a comment - Reply to : #

You must be logged in to be able to post comments!

Create my account Sign in

Top comments

Tall_Enough 10

Send a private message

Sunday 25 August 2013 16:56

that's a long walk for a man who has to poop!

Welshite 39

Send a private message

Sunday 25 August 2013 16:56

He was just afraid of all the bears and lions which frequent the camp at night. It's a perfectly valid excuse.

Tall_Enough 10

Send a private message

Sunday 25 August 2013 16:56

that's a long walk for a man who has to poop!

mFUNdo21 17

Send a private message

Sunday 25 August 2013 17:10

yea, sounds like a shitty situation for OP, but what can you doodoo when dootie calls

tacojauns 45

Send a private message

Sunday 25 August 2013 17:22

#23 CONGRATULATIONS you get the crappiest overused comment on this FML award! what are you going to do now?

mFUNdo21 17

Send a private message

Sunday 25 August 2013 18:00

wait for the thumbs down parade to begin?

TheCanucklehead 22

Send a private message

Sunday 25 August 2013 19:29

A longer walk If he has diarrea

Welshite 39

Send a private message

Sunday 25 August 2013 16:56

He was just afraid of all the bears and lions which frequent the camp at night. It's a perfectly valid excuse.

CallMeMcFeelii 13

Send a private message

Sunday 25 August 2013 17:09

There's no lions at Wild Wood, but there are some people off that cast of Jersey Shore, and they're 10 times more frightening than a bear.

Enslaved 36

Send a private message

Sunday 25 August 2013 17:11

Oh my! you forgot to mention the tigers. (:

Welshite 39

Send a private message

Sunday 25 August 2013 17:17

Tigers, lions, and bears (oh my) would be too cliche. I chose Winnie and Alex because they are pretty much harmless. Tigger is a vicious man-eater. I mean, have you seen the way he bounces? He can pounce on you without a hint of warning!

Enslaved 36

Send a private message

Sunday 25 August 2013 17:32

And spill your hunny pot! ): Ummmm let's not forget the vicious Liger!

Fireashes250 16

Send a private message

Sunday 25 August 2013 16:56

Make him use poison ivy for toilet paper next time.

FALLENSEBZERO 16

Send a private message

Sunday 25 August 2013 16:56

Duty called.

JustBeingAwesome 22

Send a private message

Sunday 25 August 2013 16:56

Damn..Hope you had you your shoes on

JustBeingAwesome 22

Send a private message

Sunday 25 August 2013 16:59

Had your*

richiedbond 16

Send a private message

Monday 26 August 2013 1:23

Got to disagree. If she was barefoot it is much easier to wash off. Way more disgusting but still, easier to clean.

ForwardUn2Dawn 18

Send a private message

Sunday 25 August 2013 16:57

I'm sure you'll find a way to get him back. Piss in his sleeping bag? By the way, puns incoming.

Elong8600 9

Send a private message

Sunday 25 August 2013 17:01

Sounds like a...

perdix 29

Send a private message

Sunday 25 August 2013 17:05

. . . *Lowers sunglasses* . . .

HeartOfLead 24

Send a private message

Sunday 25 August 2013 17:20

... Shitty...

DrownedMyFish 18

Send a private message

Sunday 25 August 2013 17:23

....Situation

Wizardo 33

Send a private message

Sunday 25 August 2013 17:29

...NOOO!!!

perdix 29

Send a private message

Sunday 25 August 2013 17:30

#37, no, it's, "YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!"

ForwardUn2Dawn 18

Send a private message

Sunday 25 August 2013 17:31

Why I love FML ^^^

NightHawk387 22

Send a private message

Sunday 25 August 2013 19:41

Congrats on finding the only acceptable way to use that comment. That was really funny. *Tips hat*

LowExpectations 30

Send a private message

Sunday 25 August 2013 16:58

He ate something that didn't agree with him? Wow, sorry to hear that OP.

emilyjgraham 34

Send a private message

Sunday 25 August 2013 20:41

He needed to poop. Have you honestly never had a sudden urge? It doesn't always mean dodgy food.

LowExpectations 30

Send a private message

Sunday 25 August 2013 21:16

I know, but he barely made it out the tent. Unless he went feral for a moment I'm hoping it was food poisoning.

emilyjgraham 34

Send a private message

Sunday 1 September 2013 21:20

Seriously, surely I'm not the only one who has honestly had such an urge it's a fecking race against time to get to the loo? Sorry, for being so disgusting but when you gotta go you GOT TO GO! Plus if he'd been sleeping and the urge came on he probably had even less time to go...