Today, I went to a tanning salon. I guess nobody mentioned that you have to lift your fat rolls or you'll end up with weird stripes where the spray never reached. FML
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Today, even though I made the point of tanning naked, I still got tan lines thanks to my fat rolls. FML
Today, I went to get my spray tan before my semi-formal. After I applied lotion to the bottom of my feet as instructed, I went in the booth and began to start the tanning session. I lost my balance and fell right as the machine began to spray. I look like a spotted cheetah. FML
Today, I got a spray tan. The lady asked what shade I wanted to be, and joking, I said the darkest. She took it seriously. Now no one can recognize me, and I have work tomorrow. FML
Today, I used a self-tanning towelette to help even out my tan lines and disguise my vitiligo a bit. Now my stomach is orange and my spots are even more noticeable. FML
Today, I decided to spray tan myself. Five minutes later, I had to pee, so I did. Not only do I now have two orange stripes on my toilet bowl, but I also have two big white stripes on the back of my thighs. FML
Today, I used a tanning bed for the first time ever, in an attempt to get a base tan for the summer. No one bothered to warn me that you shouldn't go the full ten minutes your first time. Now my skin is as red as my hair. FML
Today, I got a spray tan for the first time. Naked, I climbed into the booth. When the machine started I became frightened by the loud roar of the spray and couldn't breathe. I pissed myself out of fear. I now have river-like streaks down both legs where the pee washed my tan away. FML
Today, after applying for a job at a tanning salon, I was told they don't hire "naturally tan" people. I'm black. FML
Today, I tried a self-tanner in an attempt to rid myself of my ghost-white legs. I got my wish, but instead of a warm golden tan, I have red, swollen, lobster-like marks sticking out from the bottom half of my torso. FML
Today, my girlfriend talked me into tanning in a tanning bed for the first time ever. I have never tanned before and didn't know you are supposed to ease into it. I tanned for 15 minutes in the "super bed" and have lobstered. My ass and nuts got the worst of it. FML
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Top comments
schwancy 2
obviously the spray has to come in contact with every inch of your skin or it won't "tan" that area....
Freeze_fml 16
People like you are the reason we have warning labels on coffee cups.
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Comments (354)
lostfaithinpppl 19
Lose some weight! YDI
bobleheadNS 0
wat fat ass gets a tan anyway
foxy1222 0
you ugly bitch number 12 your not so thin either I'm not saying I'm fat because I'm not but your a bitch for jugding someone on weight!
pingpongpenguin 3
getting a tan doesn't make you orange. yeah you just ruined it, zebras are better than tigers
foxy1222 0
all of you are total dicks for hating over weight people their humans too retards still want to live normal lives her life has to do with tanning theirs no freaking need for it live with whatever color you are damn it stop trying to change reality
Twin1 0
OP if you are really THAT overweight that you need to lift rolls to get a spray tan my thoughts are you shouldn't be wearing anything that would reveal those rolls to the public. If you care about your body image start treating your body with some respect then worry about fake tanning. YDI
gzat166 0
here fattty fattty fattty, I got burgers and cheese for you! fyl
gzat166 0
84- actually fat was sexy from the 17-19 century, it meant you had money and lived well so it was attractive to be overweight
iwadasn 32
YDI for going to a tanning salon. When you get cancer, your fat rolls will be the least of your problems.
dayve 0
uhm. ahar. har. ha
dustbunny10 0
if you are that fat then why are you spending money on a tanning salon when you should be working out instead! YDI!