Today, I went to a tanning salon. I guess nobody mentioned that you have to lift your fat rolls or you'll end up with weird stripes where the spray never reached. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, even though I made the point of tanning naked, I still got tan lines thanks to my fat rolls. FML
Today, I went to get my spray tan before my semi-formal. After I applied lotion to the bottom of my feet as instructed, I went in the booth and began to start the tanning session. I lost my balance and fell right as the machine began to spray. I look like a spotted cheetah. FML
Today, I got a spray tan. The lady asked what shade I wanted to be, and joking, I said the darkest. She took it seriously. Now no one can recognize me, and I have work tomorrow. FML
Today, I used a self-tanning towelette to help even out my tan lines and disguise my vitiligo a bit. Now my stomach is orange and my spots are even more noticeable. FML
Today, I decided to spray tan myself. Five minutes later, I had to pee, so I did. Not only do I now have two orange stripes on my toilet bowl, but I also have two big white stripes on the back of my thighs. FML
Today, I used a tanning bed for the first time ever, in an attempt to get a base tan for the summer. No one bothered to warn me that you shouldn't go the full ten minutes your first time. Now my skin is as red as my hair. FML
Today, I got a spray tan for the first time. Naked, I climbed into the booth. When the machine started I became frightened by the loud roar of the spray and couldn't breathe. I pissed myself out of fear. I now have river-like streaks down both legs where the pee washed my tan away. FML
Today, after applying for a job at a tanning salon, I was told they don't hire "naturally tan" people. I'm black. FML
Today, I tried a self-tanner in an attempt to rid myself of my ghost-white legs. I got my wish, but instead of a warm golden tan, I have red, swollen, lobster-like marks sticking out from the bottom half of my torso. FML
Today, my girlfriend talked me into tanning in a tanning bed for the first time ever. I have never tanned before and didn't know you are supposed to ease into it. I tanned for 15 minutes in the "super bed" and have lobstered. My ass and nuts got the worst of it. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thank you, your FML was submitted, and will appear the moderation soon!
Top comments
schwancy 2
obviously the spray has to come in contact with every inch of your skin or it won't "tan" that area....
Freeze_fml 16
People like you are the reason we have warning labels on coffee cups.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (354)
retardslol 0
That's a sign to lose some weight, Fatty
Kforest 0
fat people shouldn't tan. period.
InvisableAtHeart 10
HAHAHAHAHA and eww YDI
Ryan993 0
Lol fat people don't need to tan
jdm4life 0
If ur that fat u shouldn't be tanning!
Ninjasaurus18 9
Maybe go on a diet, exercise and get lots of sleep. Then, when you're a bit thinner, go swimming outside to not only lose weight, but also get that tan. Naturally:D
RiceChrispy03 9
Why would anyone want to know that?
Taurus_ChicKa 36
Everyone saying fat people shouldn't tan need to shut up. How about this - NO ONE should tan. Seriously, those tanning beds/booths cause skin cancer, and why is it considered so attractive to have orange skin? I'm very pale and can't tan; I just burn and peel, and I embrace it. In some cultures, it's considered beautiful to have porcelain-colored skin. The fact that OP is heavy doesn't matter. No one should be tanning regardless; it's overrated, can cause skin cancer, and if you use the sprays, there's ALWAYS a risk of getting streaks, regardless of your weight.
MadisonDerp 16
Your stomach will be covered anyway unless you're going to be in a swim suit. Then you'll be ******.
megstiel 16
That's kind of a given, chubs.