Today, I went to a tanning salon. I guess nobody mentioned that you have to lift your fat rolls or you'll end up with weird stripes where the spray never reached. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, even though I made the point of tanning naked, I still got tan lines thanks to my fat rolls. FML
Today, I went to get my spray tan before my semi-formal. After I applied lotion to the bottom of my feet as instructed, I went in the booth and began to start the tanning session. I lost my balance and fell right as the machine began to spray. I look like a spotted cheetah. FML
Today, I got a spray tan. The lady asked what shade I wanted to be, and joking, I said the darkest. She took it seriously. Now no one can recognize me, and I have work tomorrow. FML
Today, I used a self-tanning towelette to help even out my tan lines and disguise my vitiligo a bit. Now my stomach is orange and my spots are even more noticeable. FML
Today, I decided to spray tan myself. Five minutes later, I had to pee, so I did. Not only do I now have two orange stripes on my toilet bowl, but I also have two big white stripes on the back of my thighs. FML
Today, I used a tanning bed for the first time ever, in an attempt to get a base tan for the summer. No one bothered to warn me that you shouldn't go the full ten minutes your first time. Now my skin is as red as my hair. FML
Today, I got a spray tan for the first time. Naked, I climbed into the booth. When the machine started I became frightened by the loud roar of the spray and couldn't breathe. I pissed myself out of fear. I now have river-like streaks down both legs where the pee washed my tan away. FML
Today, after applying for a job at a tanning salon, I was told they don't hire "naturally tan" people. I'm black. FML
Today, I tried a self-tanner in an attempt to rid myself of my ghost-white legs. I got my wish, but instead of a warm golden tan, I have red, swollen, lobster-like marks sticking out from the bottom half of my torso. FML
Today, my girlfriend talked me into tanning in a tanning bed for the first time ever. I have never tanned before and didn't know you are supposed to ease into it. I tanned for 15 minutes in the "super bed" and have lobstered. My ass and nuts got the worst of it. FML
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Top comments
schwancy 2
obviously the spray has to come in contact with every inch of your skin or it won't "tan" that area....
Freeze_fml 16
People like you are the reason we have warning labels on coffee cups.
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Comments (354)
mitchie11 0
naenae and ffml.. lawls @ you both. I find it humorous when two chicks have a debate and try to flaunt "intellect" through mildly witty responses and somehow derive confidence and self esteem through their own statements. Your debate wasn't even a debate; both of you agreed on the same points but failed to comprehend the other's argument. it's okay though.. at least it's cute :D.
dm1030 0
hahaha love it! YDI.
code018 0
OP wouldnt have wasted their time posting this FML had they been used to dealing with their fat rolls on a daily basis. A more logical explanation could be that they were a new mom trying to reclaim their sexuality by getting a tan.
angtaffe 0
eww gross
love0128 5
That is why you don't go and try to get a tan if you have fat rolls! That is just...ewwwwwww!!!!!!
BlueTwist89 0
...I think this FML is fake.
allenrotstein 0
You just lost me on "fat rolls"..
LaUruguaya 11
wow, nice to see weight is still the last socially acceptable prejudice to have! First, none of us know the size of the OP so to write that they m,must be the size of a "whale" just makes you look like a turd who never leaves their grandmas basement. Second, people come in all shales and sizes so the ignorant comments of "eat healthier and exercise!" just means you are an insensitive moron for pretending the comments are out of health concerns. If a size 0 girl was eatinhg McDonalds every day, nobody would be telling her to eat better! So all the idiots need to STFU.
blackaspoop 0
Ew! YDI for being that ******* fat!
NitroRedneck704 0
it's funny cause you're fat.