Today, I went to a tanning salon. I guess nobody mentioned that you have to lift your fat rolls or you'll end up with weird stripes where the spray never reached. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, even though I made the point of tanning naked, I still got tan lines thanks to my fat rolls. FML
Today, I went to get my spray tan before my semi-formal. After I applied lotion to the bottom of my feet as instructed, I went in the booth and began to start the tanning session. I lost my balance and fell right as the machine began to spray. I look like a spotted cheetah. FML
Today, I got a spray tan. The lady asked what shade I wanted to be, and joking, I said the darkest. She took it seriously. Now no one can recognize me, and I have work tomorrow. FML
Today, I used a self-tanning towelette to help even out my tan lines and disguise my vitiligo a bit. Now my stomach is orange and my spots are even more noticeable. FML
Today, I decided to spray tan myself. Five minutes later, I had to pee, so I did. Not only do I now have two orange stripes on my toilet bowl, but I also have two big white stripes on the back of my thighs. FML
Today, I used a tanning bed for the first time ever, in an attempt to get a base tan for the summer. No one bothered to warn me that you shouldn't go the full ten minutes your first time. Now my skin is as red as my hair. FML
Today, I got a spray tan for the first time. Naked, I climbed into the booth. When the machine started I became frightened by the loud roar of the spray and couldn't breathe. I pissed myself out of fear. I now have river-like streaks down both legs where the pee washed my tan away. FML
Today, after applying for a job at a tanning salon, I was told they don't hire "naturally tan" people. I'm black. FML
Today, I tried a self-tanner in an attempt to rid myself of my ghost-white legs. I got my wish, but instead of a warm golden tan, I have red, swollen, lobster-like marks sticking out from the bottom half of my torso. FML
Today, my girlfriend talked me into tanning in a tanning bed for the first time ever. I have never tanned before and didn't know you are supposed to ease into it. I tanned for 15 minutes in the "super bed" and have lobstered. My ass and nuts got the worst of it. FML
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Top comments
schwancy 2
obviously the spray has to come in contact with every inch of your skin or it won't "tan" that area....
Freeze_fml 16
People like you are the reason we have warning labels on coffee cups.
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Comments (354)
osirisfrost 0
LMFAO twice: one because you're dumb enough to spray tan, two because you're fat.
Shinygirlnz 1
It seems fairly obvious that if you have rolls that create 'folds' (ick) the spray tan won't magic itself through the skin... also... it's not healthy. And orange dye isn't going to improve it.
33daniel 0
20 must be fat
mischybelle 0
I'm a little confused because several people seem to have been saying OP was looking for sympathy for being fat, yet when I read this I thought she was looking for sympathy for being too dumb to realize spray tan wasn't a magic substance that would squeeze itself into every crease and fold of her body.
fakeaccountX 6
Hello fatass!
wordgirl 0
Well....At least nobody will see it? (one can only hope). :D
CouldntCareLess 0
Why would you bother to tan if you're fat? -.- That's disgusting.
5t3ff1k4h 44
Because cellulite looks better in tan.
ksf_fml 0
YDI for having fat rolls
ksf_fml 0
suckaaa
flamesfan4life 0
hahahah do me a favor and eat yourself