Today, I went running. My girlfriend was so surprised at the fact that I'm exercising that she accused me of making it up so I could cheat on her. I'm just trying to get in shape. FML
Collection
Black Friday
70% off something you didn't need, a stampede and a cart that crashes at checkout. Thanks, Black Friday.
Today, my wife accused me of cheating. Why? Because I recently started working out, and according to her, no married man tries to improve his physique unless he's trying to look good for other women. FML
Today, I felt like going to the gym. I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to come with me. She screamed at me for supposedly implying that she's fat. No, I just wanted to go to the gym with someone. FML
Today, I lied to the treadmill about my weight. FML
Today, I decided to get back into shape and go for a run. With a 1/4 mile left to run, I saw a hot chick a block ahead of me running. Trying to show off I ran hard and passed her stopping just outside my complex. I started to throw up right as she came past me because I had run so hard to pass her. FML
Today, I actually feel good about my decisions and my life. I've even started running to improve my health, and recover from self harming. My girlfriend is convinced I'm running to hurt myself, and won't let me near any health food or the treadmill. FML
Today, I told my fiancée I was going to the gym. She gave me a dozen "quick, easy errands" that took me over three hours to finish. When I was done, I called her and said I was going to the gym now. She yelled, "You still haven't gone? You've been out for days! What have you been doing?" FML
Today, I've been an avid gym-goer since I was in high school. A year ago I convinced my girlfriend to start going to the gym with me and she had been sticking to it since. She has now has left me for a full-on fitness model she met there. He helped her start an online store, which is doing well. FML
Today, I went on a run with my crush. She expressed how happy she was to have a decent running partner, because the last one kept complaining he thought he might throw up. We got to the top of the hill and I puked right in front of her. FML
Today, feeling out of shape, I went for a jog. I got mugged. FML
Today, my girlfriend put her hand on my abs and confessed that she was glad I'd secretly started working out. I couldn't bring myself to admit that I've been constipated for three weeks. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
robc32ca 4
sorry bud she'll never trust you
Cinn_fml 23
If she's that insecure I think you need to reevaluate the relationship. Or, you could go running with her to both exercise and spend time together...though there is a more effective exericise you could do together.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (159)
buggybeauty 0
you're screwed, so if you want to get in shape you'd better dump her.
welandedonthemoo 5
guilty conscious on the gf's part
Wolfhowl85 3
Punch her in the ovaries, spit in her mouth, then piss on her leg and say you marked her as yours. Ho needs to back the fck up before you use your pimp hand OP. Let her know who the man is and show her what crazy is like. Because bitches be crazy and making sht up.
GeekboyCol 0
This is the motherload of bad advices. Hitting the girl won't solve anything. Actually might make it worse if she's insecure.
Cinn_fml 23
I think wolfhowl85 has a thing about that, he's posted that exact same comment loads of times now, just the mods deleted all the rest of them... What he needs to learn is to stop being a ********.
cbr600_fml 0
that means that ur dating a insecure b-i-t-c-h thts how my ex was dump her it lead to nothing good
emilyk123 0
your girlfriend is a dimwit & good for u tht ur tryin 2 get in shape
gongshow100 0
what a fat bitch just throw her off a cliff that will fix everything
Taurus_ChicKa 37
Well usually the accuser is the guilty party. Maybe you should be asking her that question. What a bitch. Good for you for wanting to get in shape!
Hatty_Thibbs 0
Ask her to go with you, if she says "no" then tell her she can watch
bangscr3w 0
lol my wife of three years accuses me of the same thing ...even funnier im in the marine corps its pretty much a part of my job to be in shape
hardcoreKY 0
Well, I can see where she's coming from but she shouldn't assume things.