Health: Today, I went on a run with my crush. She expressed how happy...

By Anonymous - 17/01/2013 00:53 - United States - Wahiawa

Today, I went on a run with my crush. She expressed how happy she was to have a decent running partner, because the last one kept complaining he thought he might throw up. We got to the top of the hill and I puked right in front of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 648

You deserved it 4 610

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By DMO - 07/07/2009 05:26 - United States

Today, I decided to get back into shape and go for a run. With a 1/4 mile left to run, I saw a hot chick a block ahead of me running. Trying to show off I ran hard and passed her stopping just outside my complex. I started to throw up right as she came past me because I had run so hard to pass her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 733

You deserved it 63 931

By Anonymous - 05/07/2013 16:13 - Netherlands

Today, a girl I met recently asked if I wanted to go jogging with her, and I excitedly agreed. A while into our run, I ran out of breath and doubled over panting, all while she kept jogging and slowly disappeared down the street. What a way to spend time together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 500

You deserved it 9 241

Good impressions last

By icarlypoop - 11/04/2020 23:00

Today, I threw up on my crush's lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 239

You deserved it 488

By Darth Vomitus - 10/08/2012 18:54 - United States - Mequon

Today, I went to an amusement park with a group of friends, one of whom was a girl I really like. When we got on the roller coaster, I was ecstatic that she wanted to sit next to me. Not even half-way through, I ended up puking all over the both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 527

You deserved it 5 858

Hiking is so much fun!

By Sacho - 24/10/2019 20:00

Today, 4 miles into a mountain hike with my crush, I suddenly felt a stomach pain, followed by the urge for explosive diarrhea. I had to stand still with my butt clenched to prevent shitting myself. There were no nearby bathrooms, and I didn't have any toilet paper. It was messy. She'll never see me the same. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 802

You deserved it 171

Hey you

By djteller - 25/04/2009 00:13 - Israel

Today, while I was running around the block, I got the urge to spit. Suddenly I noticed this beautiful girl running in front me. Trying to impress her, I smiled and by mistake drooled everything on the pavement. She wasn't impressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 046

You deserved it 48 739

Not working out

By Anonymous - 09/11/2024 09:00 - Canada

Today, I joined my crush for their workout class. I didn’t realize it was an advanced class. Ten minutes in, I was gasping for air, bright red, and drenched in sweat. The instructor had to stop and ask if I needed a paramedic. My crush offered me a cup of water along with a look of deep concern. FML

I agree, your life sucks 153

You deserved it 411

By Anonymous - 16/08/2010 20:20 - United States

Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 922

You deserved it 6 674

By anonymous - 24/06/2010 05:09 - United States

Today, I went running. My girlfriend was so surprised at the fact that I'm exercising that she accused me of making it up so I could cheat on her. I'm just trying to get in shape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 705

You deserved it 5 226

By crazystar69 - 09/03/2011 18:19 - United States

Today, I was walking with my crush, and I told him how I felt. As soon as I turned to him, a bird shit on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 949

You deserved it 4 834

Racky_fml 14

Thursday 17 January 2013 9:13

Well at least you weren't complaining all the time.

cswens25 8

Thursday 17 January 2013 9:15

Better in front of her then on her

Comments

Racky_fml 14

Thursday 17 January 2013 9:13

Well at least you weren't complaining all the time.

HKCgrimmjow 15

Thursday 17 January 2013 9:23

Well aren't you a smooth one.. Or maybe a chunky one, I would need a picture to fully decide

xlord 27

Thursday 17 January 2013 9:46

^^ nice thread jack

gc327072 30

Thursday 17 January 2013 14:09

HKC- this isn't 2010, that doesn't fly anymore.

Wowxoxo 17

Friday 18 January 2013 0:04

It was probably so sudden! I wonder how far they ran...

tpm45 25

Wednesday 6 November 2013 12:26

Maybe she will laugh at the irony, appreciate you not complaining, and will thus like you more! Win!

ronski 41

Thursday 17 January 2013 9:14

Actions speak louder than words

cswens25 8

Thursday 17 January 2013 9:15

Better in front of her then on her

cswens25 8

Thursday 17 January 2013 9:20

Than**

billywhhaatt 5

Thursday 17 January 2013 9:33

I prefer then. Much better image.

Atchoo 8

Thursday 17 January 2013 16:19

This is one of those times when then vs. than makes a world of difference.

tooflirty 8

Saturday 25 January 2014 7:02

Hahaha your comment made my day

SparrowMint 11

Thursday 17 January 2013 9:15

I'd much rather my running partner push themselves than complain . Hopefully she felt the same and isn't a sympathy puker or something.

heartemopants 18

Thursday 17 January 2013 9:16

but you didn't complain!

newbiehere99 6

Thursday 17 January 2013 10:10

Yes I did!!

kurodansei 16

Thursday 17 January 2013 9:17

They say push trough the pain but there's not a lot you can do when lunch pushes back.

Sputnikspak 13

Thursday 17 January 2013 10:08

Better runner's pukes than runner's diarrhea.

VIPwhenever 15

Friday 18 January 2013 1:51

This makes me wonder if it was super hot, since it does say from Hawaii. It could've been the reason he threw up.

theslimshadylp 6

Thursday 17 January 2013 9:19

You literally blew this one my friend.

Maddy9111 11

Thursday 17 January 2013 9:19

she sounds like a rough partner to be running with... are you going to run with her again?

mistercrow 9

Thursday 17 January 2013 9:24

Didn't you get the memo that running is a friend zone activity anyways and you totally just did unnecessary running? xD Goodness well hopefully you at least were wearing nice shorts or something. Chicks dig the short loose ones or the long tight ones on dudes.

brackaman 18

Thursday 17 January 2013 9:28

Well at least you threw up when you got to the top as opposed to on the way up. The run back down should be a cinch compared to coming up. Hopefully she'll see that you're a trooper.