Today, I went running. My girlfriend was so surprised at the fact that I'm exercising that she accused me of making it up so I could cheat on her. I'm just trying to get in shape. FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my wife accused me of cheating. Why? Because I recently started working out, and according to her, no married man tries to improve his physique unless he's trying to look good for other women. FML
Today, I felt like going to the gym. I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to come with me. She screamed at me for supposedly implying that she's fat. No, I just wanted to go to the gym with someone. FML
Today, I lied to the treadmill about my weight. FML
Today, I decided to get back into shape and go for a run. With a 1/4 mile left to run, I saw a hot chick a block ahead of me running. Trying to show off I ran hard and passed her stopping just outside my complex. I started to throw up right as she came past me because I had run so hard to pass her. FML
Today, I actually feel good about my decisions and my life. I've even started running to improve my health, and recover from self harming. My girlfriend is convinced I'm running to hurt myself, and won't let me near any health food or the treadmill. FML
Today, I told my fiancée I was going to the gym. She gave me a dozen "quick, easy errands" that took me over three hours to finish. When I was done, I called her and said I was going to the gym now. She yelled, "You still haven't gone? You've been out for days! What have you been doing?" FML
Today, I've been an avid gym-goer since I was in high school. A year ago I convinced my girlfriend to start going to the gym with me and she had been sticking to it since. She has now has left me for a full-on fitness model she met there. He helped her start an online store, which is doing well. FML
Today, I went on a run with my crush. She expressed how happy she was to have a decent running partner, because the last one kept complaining he thought he might throw up. We got to the top of the hill and I puked right in front of her. FML
Today, feeling out of shape, I went for a jog. I got mugged. FML
Today, my girlfriend put her hand on my abs and confessed that she was glad I'd secretly started working out. I couldn't bring myself to admit that I've been constipated for three weeks. FML
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Top comments
robc32ca 4
sorry bud she'll never trust you
Cinn_fml 23
If she's that insecure I think you need to reevaluate the relationship. Or, you could go running with her to both exercise and spend time together...though there is a more effective exericise you could do together.
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Comments (159)
Jonathanaw 0
lmfao. "I'm just trying to get in shape" I just imagined you saying that in an innocent way. haha, keep working out dude, :)
__ChR1s__ 0
Haha, talk about paranoid
Captivated 0
OP why dont you just take her on the run?
kkitana 0
(no offence)but are you a little fat? then she should understand? ,she culd runn with you and be supportive but no she's insecure
quackquackgopat 0
HAHAHAHA girlfriend is a botch.
ElizaLiz 0
She's a little desperate to get rid of you, isn't she? If she thinks you going out for a run is an excuse for cheating on her, obviously somethings up. Really, I think she's just trying a desperate way of breaking up with you. Suck it up man, it's over... *sob*
acruzmn 0
Next time ask her to go with you! Then she'll beleive you :)
hateevryone 15
why don't you take her with you, so her ass won't be so insecure
hebron77 0
Next time, tell her to follow if she wants to, just to show her she's paranoid.
YeahCourse 4
That sucks OP but tough it out you got this!