By toastedguy - 01/12/2009 05:00 - United States

Today, I went on my first date in a long time. We went to see "New Moon." After the girl stole my hat, I grabbed her phone. While trying to get it back, she held a lighter to me, threatening me. Next thing I know my beard is on fire, so not only did I have to sit through horrible acting, I got burnt. FML
I agree, your life sucks 37 654
You deserved it 13 152

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Rellich 0

I want to say, "YDI," but no one deserves a psycho bitch like that...

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At least getting your beard set on fire is exciting.

#1 said it all. this is so messed up, I don't know how it could even happen.

greenltrn2003 0

#50 you clearly meant on...Im not the type to troll on grammer but... ******* Twilight fans

go_fuck_yourself 0

#1 THerEs A REaSon FOr WHy THis SIte Is cALlEd FMl? And Thts Wht yU GEt FOr Nt LiKEing NEw Moon

I can't tell if 121 is pretending to be or if she really is retarded.

@110: At least spell "grammar" correctly if you're going to be critical of someone else's grammar.

That's what happens when you get around ******* crazy ass Twilight fans

sharon_ellj 0

#121 Freaking retard! Only dumb freshmans type like that. It gets so annoying and it IS NOT COOL!

I hate you and anyone else who types like you. go die.

iBiteRoses 22

LOL you troll you, you said "grammer" were you trying to make a point? Because they're suffering enough being Twatlight fans...

Rellich 0

I want to say, "YDI," but no one deserves a psycho bitch like that...

wait what? your date burnt your beard?

FireFlie07 20

You didn't leave the theatre after some crazy bitch set your beard on fire?!?!?! YDI

i think he meant that she burned his beard after the movie

I reallly hope that the burning incident happened AFTER the movie, otherwise why the hell did you not leave?! But seriously.. thats messed up.. she needs help.

Can you just imagine being an onlooker to this FML? Suddenly a big burly man with a flaming lumberjack beard runs by flailing his arms and screaming. Of course I'm estimating the size of the man, beard, and reaction, but it'd make the story all the more exciting.

followed by a short thin emo girl, dressed in pink, with a mad look in her eyes loool

DoomJeff91 2

And Morgan Freeman narrating the whole thing.

Reyo 2

like a Twinkie...like a Twinkie...

Setting your beard on fire-thats a deal breaker right there Although this does give me an idea. I grew a mo for movember. Perhaps burning it off will be more fun than shaving. I'll let you know how the third degree burns go.