Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, while finally about to make love with my long-term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML
Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML
Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered, "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML
Today, I went down on my boyfriend while he was drunk, and he told me to get protection from his bedroom. I came back, he was passed out on the couch. His parents then came into the room after hearing noises. I was sitting there naked holding a condom while he was fast asleep. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finish, she tells me she already has a boyfriend, and that his penis is larger than mine. FML
Today, I finally hooked up with the girl of my dreams. We went back to her place, and I explored every inch of her body; luscious lips, hourglass curves, genital warts... The worst part was when she got angry when I refused to continue, shouting, "No wonder you're still a virgin!" FML
Today, I was going down on a girl. When I looked up she was texting. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate, and I gave her a condom to put on me. She tried to open it with her teeth, but ripped it. That was my only condom. I'm now sitting here watching a soap opera with a boner. FML
Today, I finally got intimate with my girlfriend, the girl of my dreams. I undressed and, ready to step in bed with her, I see her staring at 'it'. Which was quickly followed by laughter. FML
Today, I was having sex with a girl I really like for the first time. After a while I told her I was about to come. Her response, "Lucky you." FML
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Top comments
Steffi3 40
Because obviously going down on someone doesn't count as cheating. Wait...
selfsabotage 4
Wonder how her boyfriend would feel about his girlfriends "loyalty". Sucks to be you dude but if this is the girl of your dreams I would think you know enough about her to know she had a boyfriend.
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Comments (198)
AFCCT 7
Plot twist: She's blonde and you are her boyfriend!
Muny_fml 17
Dude I feel real sorry 4 ya
The_Big_Boss 20
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
TIL oral sex isn't cheating. Thanks OP
laden_swallow09 34
I'd facepalm, too. 15's face. With a backhand.
Ladisa 28
Why? 15 was obviously being sarcastic. Or am I seeing more than there actually is?
ChibiChibi_fml 27
Were you aware of this girl's relationship status before you went down on her? If you were than quite frankly you are an ass for getting with a taken girl and I feel you deserve the blue balls. She's of course a huge c*nt for screwing around behind her boyfriend's back and I hope her boyfriend finds out soon. If you weren't aware of her relationship status then f your life and I'm sorry that you had to suffer because of a c*nt like that. I hope you find a not taken girl who tickles your fancy as well as your pickle.
marrkkoopolo 1
I actually read all that :)
BellaBelle_fml 23
What an accomplishment. You should be proud of yourself.
bonnie04 5
thats not nice to call him an ass, he didnt know
ChibiChibi_fml 27
Hence the word IF. IF he knew than he has been called an ass. IF he didn't than he hasn't been called an ass.
Quiet_one 22
But... she already did... This kind of "logic" hurts my brain.
perdix 29
Translation: Your pussy-eating skills are awesome! Don't even think of coming up and wanting more. Lick away, monkey boy! I'm glad I could help.
zaise_chsa 19
You should have given her a good tongue lashing. Maybe if you tell her boyfriend he'll lick her into shape.
jude_iscariot 7
It's all good. Just ask her to suck your ****, then. Clearly oral doesn't count.
perdix 29
I wouldn't be surprised if the boyfriend was ok with her outsourcing the work in that department to you. He'll probably happily buy you a beer and some dental floss. ;)
yscpunkchick 14
Well, maybe she's an MC Chris fan? "eatin' ain't cheatin'".... (I in no way agree with that logic, BTW)