Today, I watched The Passion of the Christ with my girlfriend. She kept scoffing at what she called the "historical inaccuracies", and actually tried to convince me that Hitler killed Jesus. When I corrected her, she looked at me, mouth agape, as if I was insane. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I watched my mother tell a man that the holocaust was "a good thing" and "necessary for population control". That man was my girlfriend's father. Who is Jewish. FML
Today, in my film class, we were watching Schindler's List. At least, we tried. The moron next to me kept interrupting the most intense scenes with a very loud, "I don't get it." Not only did she break the focus of the class, but we had to keep stopping the movie to explain it to her. FML
Today, my daughter is so out of touch with anything not related to her phone and her social popularity that she doesn't know who Hitler was. I had to show her on YouTube, and while we aren't religious anymore, we are a Jewish family so this is an extra level of parental shame for me. FML
Today, I learned that my new boyfriend seriously thinks that Inglorious Bastards is historically accurate and is actually the secret history of World War 2 being revealed to the public. Nothing I say will make him change his mind. I guess that relationship is a goner. FML
Today, my mom blew her top when I casually mentioned that it's pretty well known that the story of Jesus is a retelling of older Persian and Egyptian stories. She then went on to yell at me that I wasted my money on college and "book learning". FML
Today, my friend and I were driving to work, when she asked me to stop at the gas station. Ten minutes later, I see this woman come out, my friend right behind her. The woman spotted me, an intense look in her eyes. She marched over, threw a paper at me, and screamed, "Jesus died for our sins!" She then stormed off. I'm a crazy magnet. FML
Today, I got into a heated argument with my girlfriend. Not because of anything I did, but because she actually believes that pasteurization is when a pastor blesses a dairy product. "You know, like kosher." FML
Today, my 24 year old girlfriend plugged her ears and stomped her feet while making really loud noises in our local video store. She then refused to stop until I agreed to rent and watch The Notebook with her. FML
Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML
Today, a woman stopped me and started chewing me out for wearing a pentagram necklace. I explained to her that is wasn't a pentagram, it was a Star of David. She continued chewing me out because apparently that still means I hate Jesus. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ICastillo 25
Please do not let her breed offspring!!!!
cgguardian 17
Yeah, Hitler DEFINITELY killed Jesus...after all, he WAS Jewish...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (188)
imanassholetoo 8
If I was you, I would stick to bjs and butt sex with her. Find someone new quickly.
Hellbound_Alleee 14
Jesus obviously sacrificed himself fighting a Balrog. He was gone for awhile and came back all white riding a white horse. (Wait a minute--this parody isn't parody anymore. That's exactly what happens in Revelation.)
NewKonoiche 6
Well, a lot of those Nostradamus/End Times Prophecy documentaries state that Nostradamus predicted 3 antichrists. The first was (supposedly) Napoleon, Hitler was the second and the third (who is the worst apparently and will bring on the end of the world) hasn't shown up yet. Not that I believe any of that crap, of course and I doubt she was thinking the whole Hitler-Antichrist relationship. That said, I'm sure Hitler wouldn't have approved of Jesus if they were around at the same time.
sythe511 28
Your girlfriend is an incompetent fool.
chuckcloninger 12
She must be stunningly good looking as I am fairly certain this is not the first time she's said something dumber than dirt. Though I must admit her comment is a real show stopper.
bhelas 5
Excuse me while I go hit my head against the wall. Can't believe idiots like her exist in this world..
mikex31 4
Wonder if she even had an education or just attended a cult meeting
toppsykrett 4
Dump her she's a dumdass.
martini47 12
Find a new girlfriend and never have kids with her there are enough stupid people in the world
MiaStarFire 2
Why would you date someone so stupid? Pls say you broke up with her.