Today, I watched The Passion of the Christ with my girlfriend. She kept scoffing at what she called the "historical inaccuracies", and actually tried to convince me that Hitler killed Jesus. When I corrected her, she looked at me, mouth agape, as if I was insane. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I watched my mother tell a man that the holocaust was "a good thing" and "necessary for population control". That man was my girlfriend's father. Who is Jewish. FML
Today, in my film class, we were watching Schindler's List. At least, we tried. The moron next to me kept interrupting the most intense scenes with a very loud, "I don't get it." Not only did she break the focus of the class, but we had to keep stopping the movie to explain it to her. FML
Today, my daughter is so out of touch with anything not related to her phone and her social popularity that she doesn't know who Hitler was. I had to show her on YouTube, and while we aren't religious anymore, we are a Jewish family so this is an extra level of parental shame for me. FML
Today, I learned that my new boyfriend seriously thinks that Inglorious Bastards is historically accurate and is actually the secret history of World War 2 being revealed to the public. Nothing I say will make him change his mind. I guess that relationship is a goner. FML
Today, my mom blew her top when I casually mentioned that it's pretty well known that the story of Jesus is a retelling of older Persian and Egyptian stories. She then went on to yell at me that I wasted my money on college and "book learning". FML
Today, my friend and I were driving to work, when she asked me to stop at the gas station. Ten minutes later, I see this woman come out, my friend right behind her. The woman spotted me, an intense look in her eyes. She marched over, threw a paper at me, and screamed, "Jesus died for our sins!" She then stormed off. I'm a crazy magnet. FML
Today, I got into a heated argument with my girlfriend. Not because of anything I did, but because she actually believes that pasteurization is when a pastor blesses a dairy product. "You know, like kosher." FML
Today, my 24 year old girlfriend plugged her ears and stomped her feet while making really loud noises in our local video store. She then refused to stop until I agreed to rent and watch The Notebook with her. FML
Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML
Today, a woman stopped me and started chewing me out for wearing a pentagram necklace. I explained to her that is wasn't a pentagram, it was a Star of David. She continued chewing me out because apparently that still means I hate Jesus. FML
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Top comments
ICastillo 25
Please do not let her breed offspring!!!!
cgguardian 17
Yeah, Hitler DEFINITELY killed Jesus...after all, he WAS Jewish...
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Comments (188)
gracehi 33
That's ridiculous! Everyone knows it was Stalin who killed Jesus! Then he rose from the dead and he and Winston Churchill hosted a rock concert at the White House.
need2sleep 15
No no, if we are going to be all technical it was Professor Hubert J. Farnsworth who used his time machine to go back and kill Hitler! Duh! No seriously, she's an idiot. She probably read it on the Internet.
NostalgiaFreak9 43
But he missed Hitler and accidentally shot Eleanor Roosevelt.
outoftown 27
One of you is hot enough to make up for the lack of brains. Did she think you were the hot one?
tacojauns 45
op's name made me laugh more than the FML
JJ_Rokk 10
Umm... Wow.
PleadingInsanity 20
Buy her a history book and a bible.
JLBeauregard 5
Yes, yes. He most definitely killed Jewsus.
resultsmayvary 5
So you got into an argument about an imaginary character and hitler? YDI
resultsmayvary 5
YDI - hitler didn't kill any fairy tale creatures....
TheOneTC 8
What on earth would possess you to watch that movie with your girlfriend? Not really a great date flick
SystemofaBlink41 27
That's what I was thinking... It's a horrible movie to watch.