Transportation: Today, I watched The Omen with my father. Halfway through driving...

By Anonymous - 21/01/2012 00:55 - United States

Today, I watched The Omen with my father. Halfway through driving me back home, he stopped the car and made me get out right there in a rough part of town. Fifteen minutes later, he drove up beside me, laughed hysterically at how terrified I was, and told me to get in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 783

You deserved it 2 787

Mother's Day: Sweets and Bummers
Between disastrous breakfasts in bed and unusual gifts, Mother's Day is an inexhaustible source of laughter. More…

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Same thing different taste

Good one, thanks

By RYZILLAHitZ - 30/06/2011 01:32 - United States

Today, as I was walking home from work, my dad drove past, pulled over, rolled down the window and asked, "Are you tired of walking?" To which I replied "Yes!" Just as I reached for the car door, he yelled "RUN A WHILE" and sped off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 054

You deserved it 5 749

By Anonymous - 20/09/2009 19:20 - United States

Today, I was watching The Omen with my father. A little bit into the movie, my dad turned to me and said, "Wow, you really looked like that Damien kid when you were little." Apparently I strangely look like the Antichrist, and I'm a teenage girl. Thanks Dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 534

You deserved it 4 730

By Emma Five - 14/03/2012 03:22 - United States

Today, my dad was driving me to college. I'd cracked a joke about how old people like him shouldn't be allowed to drive, and I guess he took it personally, what with him speeding straight up to the parking lot wall, and only braking after I started shrieking in terror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 596

You deserved it 32 255

Get in, kid

By -__- - 28/10/2011 11:50 - Australia

Today, I think my dad has finally lost his shit and is having a mid-life crisis. He showed up at my school and had me brought to the front desk. He told me to get in the car because we were going to have some "father-daughter bonding". This meant us watching Silent Hill with his work buddies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 203

You deserved it 2 593

Alexa, play "A Forest" by The Cure

By JesusLaidAnEgg - 10/09/2019 14:02

Today, I was driving around my campsite at dark in the middle of a forest. My father thought it would be funny to run up to my window, put his face against the glass and scream. I drove into a tree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 593

You deserved it 236

By mothtal - 03/06/2012 16:13 - Bulgaria

Today, my boyfriend picked me up to take me on a date. Just as we were about to drive away, my dad ran out of the house in his underwear and started yelling that he'd kill my boyfriend if I wasn't back home within the hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 558

You deserved it 2 264

By Anonymous - 10/03/2013 22:37 - United States - Denison

Today, my boyfriend drove me back home. My dad was sitting on the porch in his underwear, with his shotgun in his lap. He stroked the gun, looked my boyfriend dead in the eyes, and slowly shook his head. Now my boyfriend refuses to see me for his own safety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 173

You deserved it 4 382

Movie night

By insomniac x2 - 15/08/2013 19:56 - Mexico - Garza Garc

Today, I was watching The Ring on TV in the early morning. When the scene where the girl is crawling out of the TV came on, my dad grabbed my shoulders from behind me out of nowhere, causing me to shriek like a little bitch. I don't know how long he waited to do that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 732

You deserved it 8 478

By Ariel_Mariaa - 04/11/2011 23:25 - Canada

Today, I went to see the latest Paranormal Activity movie with my mother. We were terrified and held hands at one point. The person sitting behind us thought it would be hilarious to abruptly scream into my mother's ear. She reacted by flailing and driving her arm straight into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 523

You deserved it 4 285

By FathersDay - 22/06/2009 05:27 - United States

Today, I told my dad I couldn't make the trip to see him this weekend because I had to work. I surprised him by driving ten hours, and while he was out, I let myself in with my key and hid behind the couch for when he came in. He walked in. I jumped out. I then had to call 911. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 407

You deserved it 21 051

aeshleyrose 6

Saturday 21 January 2012 6:04

I see years of therapy in your future.

every1luvsboners 11

Saturday 21 January 2012 6:21

Tell him in that 15 minutes you were sodomized, forced to smoke crack, shoot up heroin, give a homeless guy a BJ, did 15 jumping jacks, got a pedicure and you're pregnant with the liquor store clerks baby.

Comments

aifen7053 1

Saturday 21 January 2012 16:52

Lmfao this fml just made my day XD......oh sorry though o.o

geod69 8

Saturday 21 January 2012 17:14

Classic

Rodgcia 0

Saturday 21 January 2012 17:27

Father of the year award for sure lmfao

peete182 0

Saturday 21 January 2012 18:06

This didn't happen

socialcookie123 0

Saturday 21 January 2012 23:00

wow... you didn't have to get out? you could've said no.

taliax101 8

Sunday 22 January 2012 3:05

This is hilarious! Best dad ever!

laxman38 6

Sunday 22 January 2012 4:14

You should put laxitives in his food.

iWoggle 6

Sunday 22 January 2012 4:54

These FML dads are serious trolls.

Havin 19

Sunday 22 January 2012 10:26

Dude, what the f?

Jakespeed207 4

Sunday 8 April 2012 23:37

Troll dad strikes again!!! Lol I literally lol'd at the thought of you alone there (I was imagining a girl of around 15 or so with auburn hair. Dunno why) and then your dad coming to pick you up as a joke. No lie, that's funny. Just that the OP and most people here have no sense of humour