Today, I was watching TV with a cup of coffee. My mum asked if I wanted a Mars bar. I said that would be great and she threw one at me, catching me off guard. The Mars bar went straight into my coffee, spilling it over my bare legs. I now have a scald mark on my penis. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was drinking coffee out of my favorite mug, when it slipped out of my hand. I caught it, but not before most of the hot coffee spilled all over my lap. In reaction, I dropped the mug again, shattering it. FML
Today, I decided to have a hot cup of coffee. Then I stumbled on a chair and somehow spilled the hot liquid on my privates. The searing pain worked better to wake me up than the coffee itself. FML
Today, my son learned that when you slide a mug across the kitchen table, it doesn't stop where you expect it to like in the old cartoons. I then learned what it feels like to have a full mug of hot chocolate spilled onto my crotch. FML
Today, I set my cup of coffee down on the stall floor to take care of my business. A hand reached under the stall door and took my coffee. I yelled to give it back, calling them obscene names. Moments later, my fresh coffee came flying over the door. I'm burned from my head to my legs. FML
Today, I made a cup of coffee for a lovely old lady on the dementia ward. She asked for quite a lot of sugar in her drink, but I didn't question it. The moment I gave her the coffee, she threw it all over me. While scalding my skin, it also stuck to me. FML
Today, I heroically caught a falling cup of coffee that I'd knocked off the counter. I thought I'd saved the day, until I realized I didn’t actually grab the cup; I'd grabbed the hot coffee directly with my bare hand. I spent the next few seconds hopping around like a maniac while everyone in the office watched. FML
Today, I was walking out of Starbucks when I sneezed, causing coffee to burn my nose. I screamed, dropped it, and sent scorching coffee all over my legs, while dropping everything else I was holding. FML
Today, I was making some tea for my colleagues when I accidentally dropped the tea bag into my cup of coffee. I thought, "Why not?" and took a sip. It tasted like a caffeinated botanical disaster, and the whole office got to enjoy me retch for 10 minutes. FML
Today, I walked in on my roommate trying to smoke a Mars bar. FML
Today, my cat knocked over a cup of scalding hot tea - but don't worry, the carpet wasn't damaged. It went all over my leg instead leaving a nice big scar for my holiday. FML
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Top comments
the_boss_fml 0
its not like youll need to be using it, if you still live with your mom
Peanu_theGreat 0
... You were naked?
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Comments (220)
nissanman_fml 16
For ***** sake people, HE WASNT NAKED
dankadank 0
omg... he wasnt naked you guys... zomg ftw wtf lmao rofl bbyo man all yall shut the hell up this kid was butt ass naked and all yall dumbasses sayin he was wearin boxers....why would he wear boxers and drink blazin ass hot coffee and not xpect to burn hid dick
dankadank 0
smyburntd
dew_fml 0
The OP wqs drinking coffee a drink that is mostly drunk in the morning, yes theres a chance he sleeps naked, but living eith his mom i wouldnt bet on it. So mabye he was sitting watching tv in boxers or something like that when coffee (which like water) seeps through the cloth and burns him.
kbot 0
YDI for being naked with your mom, you sick ****. If you were in fact wearing boxers and not bumping uglies with your mom, then I must ask you this, was she in her underwear, and what style/color was it?
hongkongfong 0
anyone care to mention how his mom has wicked aim? mars bar into a coffee cup!
superkid 0
nice shot mommy ;) sucks to be you tho! :P lol #4 total BURN ;)
softpinkdaisies 0
your boxers dont cover all your legs! some of his leg would be exposed and depending on how much coffee he spilt depends on how much of an area it would cover, also I refuse to believe 155 always drinks coffee (or other hot drink) in a full fireproof outfit (or whatever he deems suitable to protect his skin). He was obviously wearing boxers, and i'd like to see you catch a mars bar flung at you without spilling a full cup of coffee when you're half asleep. Also he doesn't say he was actually drinking it he just says 'i was watching tv WITH a cup of coffee' so it could actually still be scalding hot and therefore burn him through his boxers.
amandanichole 0
I HAVENT HEARD OF MARS BARS IN YEARS!!!! I WAS IN THE 4TH GRADE WHEN I HAD ONE LAST.....:( NOW IM SAD...I WANT A MARS BAR
PenceyXD 0
#2 made my day XDD