Today, I was watching TV with a cup of coffee. My mum asked if I wanted a Mars bar. I said that would be great and she threw one at me, catching me off guard. The Mars bar went straight into my coffee, spilling it over my bare legs. I now have a scald mark on my penis. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was drinking coffee out of my favorite mug, when it slipped out of my hand. I caught it, but not before most of the hot coffee spilled all over my lap. In reaction, I dropped the mug again, shattering it. FML
Today, I decided to have a hot cup of coffee. Then I stumbled on a chair and somehow spilled the hot liquid on my privates. The searing pain worked better to wake me up than the coffee itself. FML
Today, my son learned that when you slide a mug across the kitchen table, it doesn't stop where you expect it to like in the old cartoons. I then learned what it feels like to have a full mug of hot chocolate spilled onto my crotch. FML
Today, I set my cup of coffee down on the stall floor to take care of my business. A hand reached under the stall door and took my coffee. I yelled to give it back, calling them obscene names. Moments later, my fresh coffee came flying over the door. I'm burned from my head to my legs. FML
Today, I made a cup of coffee for a lovely old lady on the dementia ward. She asked for quite a lot of sugar in her drink, but I didn't question it. The moment I gave her the coffee, she threw it all over me. While scalding my skin, it also stuck to me. FML
Today, I heroically caught a falling cup of coffee that I'd knocked off the counter. I thought I'd saved the day, until I realized I didn’t actually grab the cup; I'd grabbed the hot coffee directly with my bare hand. I spent the next few seconds hopping around like a maniac while everyone in the office watched. FML
Today, I was walking out of Starbucks when I sneezed, causing coffee to burn my nose. I screamed, dropped it, and sent scorching coffee all over my legs, while dropping everything else I was holding. FML
Today, I was making some tea for my colleagues when I accidentally dropped the tea bag into my cup of coffee. I thought, "Why not?" and took a sip. It tasted like a caffeinated botanical disaster, and the whole office got to enjoy me retch for 10 minutes. FML
Today, I walked in on my roommate trying to smoke a Mars bar. FML
Today, my cat knocked over a cup of scalding hot tea - but don't worry, the carpet wasn't damaged. It went all over my leg instead leaving a nice big scar for my holiday. FML
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Top comments
the_boss_fml 0
its not like youll need to be using it, if you still live with your mom
Peanu_theGreat 0
... You were naked?
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Comments (220)
graintrain 0
20 - being able to drink coffee doesn't mean it won't burn you. I know someone's whose sister spent 6 months in the hospital with severe burns from coffee - coffee that the tots mom had been drinking out of for several minuters before the toddler dumped it over her head. Most of the coffee you can buy in a restuarant is hot enough to give you a third degree burn if you spill it on your skin instead of drinking it. Over 700 people were burned by Mcdonalds Coffee between 1982 and 1992 - coffee that was in every case, cool enough to drink. And those are just the burns that were bad enough to demand medical attention and reports. Your average at home coffee pot serves coffee between 130 and 140 degrees. Any substance at 140 degrees can burn you, and through clothing at that. Also many people prefer to heat up their homebrewed coffee in the microwave for "better taste" not realizing the danger (hence the reason mcdonalds was serving coffee at 180 degrees before they had their million dollar lawsuit)
JayC_fml 0
Now you know how it feels to be a hot dog.
krazidrea 0
BURN!>>.................. mars bars are evil sorry bout ur wennie
pikachu_01 0
You weren't wearing pants and your mom was in the room? Oh dear...
LMFAOWTFHAY 0
Why were you naked with you mom :/
Epic_Fail_Sauce 0
Does mom play basketball? Three point shot for her.
SteamyCream 0
Thank god for #34.
chenalex 0
#39, like this poster, is a liar. If water is hot enough to give you 3rd degree burns, then it's called steam.
thecheeseking 0
ouch, thats pretty harsh. Make her rub lotion on it is a punishment.LOL
dudeboi 0
why were u naked in fronta ur mom lol?