Miscellaneous: Today, I learned how much it hurts to put a mint up your nose....

By farhia97 - 08/11/2011 02:14 - United States

Today, I learned how much it hurts to put a mint up your nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 215

You deserved it 54 722

Miscellaneous

Sorry…

Weird reason to leave, but OK

Are friends electric?

You go Glenn Coco!

By Anonymous - 20/10/2020 17:07

Today, my very top boyfriend told me he was ready to try being the bottom. He moaned and complained about the pain the entire time, even though I got less than 2 inches in, and then got angry I was taking so long to cum. I thought I was the drama queen in our house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 191

You deserved it 288

By shadowfigure - 23/01/2011 05:47 - United States

Today, I was doing karaoke with my girlfriend's family, when the 5 year old came over and shut off my microphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 459

You deserved it 8 295

By Anonymous - 16/12/2013 04:47 - United States - North Port

Today, I was at a Christmas party when I noticed someone had taken all of the cash I had from out of my wallet. It was a family gathering. I'm related to the culprit but have no idea who it is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 422

You deserved it 3 207

By Benji - 22/01/2009 12:06 - France

Today, my 19 year old girlfriend dumped me because she thinks I'm immature. I'm 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 509

You deserved it 65 170

By mark - 06/06/2010 23:48 - United States

Today, I went downstairs after a family argument. The front door was kicked in, the sink faucet was snapped off, and there were broken plates all over the kitchen floor. I later found out that the argument was over who left the refrigerator door open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 726

You deserved it 2 576

What did I say, Roy?

By Peter - 30/06/2021 18:01

Today, my wife said I was being difficult and unreasonable, and called my mother to talk to me about my behaviour. What did I do you ask? I dared to share my opinion on something I happen to feel strongly about, instead of just mindlessly agreeing with her opinion like I have for the past 22 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 844

You deserved it 190

By Mush - 27/08/2015 16:42 - France - Montpellier

Today, after an 8-month wait, I went on my big vacation. The beach, the sea, the dive, the jellyfish, the allergic reaction, the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 645

You deserved it 1 722

By suckmeoff - 12/04/2009 07:21 - United States

Today, it was my birthday. My grandma gave me a hug and a check after wishing me a happy birthday and walked away giggling. I was excited because it was the only gift I had gotten all day. Ten minutes later, I realized that it was actually just my tax refund. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 150

You deserved it 3 459

By notfuckingpaidenough - 13/06/2015 11:45 - United States - San Leandro

Today, a man tried to rob the store I work at. Before the guy was taken by the cops, he complained to my manager for "unfriendly behavior". He took it seriously and bitched me out for not providing "quality service" to our customers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 405

You deserved it 2 060

By JulieKid - 04/05/2009 17:19 - United States

Today, I stepped out of my car and slipped on a fresh coating of ice on the ground. I tried to catch myself by grabbing the car on my way down, but unfortunately, I was trying to grab with the hand that was holding my car keys. I key-scratched my own car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 463

You deserved it 7 777

By Mitch - 08/11/2016 04:50

Today, while reading the newspaper, I noticed that an ad had been placed for my job. I asked my boss for a week off so that I could fly home for my father's funeral. No wonder she was so cool with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 058

You deserved it 736

By jobless - 30/06/2019 22:01

Today, I had my first interview after weeks of applying everywhere, but I got turned away for being "inappropriately dressed" for the interview. I was wearing the smartest clothes I own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 567

You deserved it 458

By Dana - 16/11/2018 15:30

Today, I told my son if he wanted the new internet password he had to clean his room. I then caught him disconnecting my laptop from the internet. Turns out he changed the password months ago and now if I want the new password he wants £50. I ended up paying. I'm actually proud of the sneaky sod. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 569

You deserved it 3 349

By crazy_bitch122 - 29/06/2011 05:13 - United States

Today, while making love, he farted. And blamed it on his dog, who wasn't even in the room. The smell alone could have killed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 499

You deserved it 6 278

By Anonymous - 19/08/2015 12:14 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my sister recorded the sound of me having intense diarrhea, retching at the stench, and eventually breaking down in tears. I only found out when I saw she'd posted it online, with the caption "lol #gaytard #sorrynotsorry". I've never been called a pussy by so many people before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 939

You deserved it 3 976

By pianonerd - 15/09/2009 06:16 - Canada

Today, my piano teacher told me that she "forgot" to inform me that she volunteered me to play a 5 page song in a recital in front of 300 people that's happening next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 858

You deserved it 3 330

By tinyfeet - 02/03/2016 03:15 - New Zealand

Today, my company told me that they refuse to buy me new safety footwear without a doctor's note, because my shoe size is three sizes smaller than the minimum size my company provides. I actually have to get my doctor to prove my shoe size. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 408

You deserved it 1 280

Dazed and confused

By Anonymous - 26/11/2021 11:01 - Germany

Today, our dog is old and deaf, and has figured out she just needs to bark if she needs to be let inside. Unfortunately, she's also a bit senile, so sometimes she just barks for no reason, while lying still and quite comfortably on her dog bed, staring at nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 735

You deserved it 83

By thankspops - 29/09/2010 23:04 - United States

Today, I found out that the $200 a week I was paying my dad for my car insurance and payment, wasn't actually paying my insurance and car payment. How did I find out he wasn't paying? Repo man took my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 568

You deserved it 3 305

Jealousy

By princess_stabitty - 01/08/2020 08:01

Today, my boss's husband came over to our office, and as a by the way comment told our boss my make-up looks good and suits me. The thing is, I've never worn make-up to work, and obviously, he never told his wife, my boss, that she looks good with make-up on. I'm fucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 531

You deserved it 163

Bro moment

By Anonymous - 11/11/2021 11:00

Today, I had a stomach bug and had to run to the restroom because I messed my pants. My boyfriend's words of comfort? "Don't worry, bro. I've crapped my pants at least twice since we've been together." FML

I agree, your life sucks 791

You deserved it 127

By RatCityChick - 27/06/2012 17:18 - United States - Bellevue

Today, my grandmother said she's noticed that I've been very angry lately. She came to the conclusion that I "haven't been laid enough" and my boyfriend is "not doing his job." Thanks Grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 353

You deserved it 4 845

By pugs - 29/01/2010 08:43 - France

Today, the girl I've been dating asked me to describe her body. I said "Thin an toned but curvy in all the right places." I then asked her the same question to which she replied, "I don't know, you know I'm always drunk when we're together." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 390

You deserved it 4 603

By ew - 04/10/2009 15:41 - United States

Today, I noticed that my acne has gotten so bad, I can see it out of my peripheral vision. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 013

You deserved it 9 162

By mypelvishurts - 23/02/2013 07:32 - United States - Santa Rosa

Today, my boss told me to go outside and take part in the company's stupid Harlem Shake video. When I declined, he threatened to fire me if I didn't take part. I ended up being the guy who had to furiously pelvic thrust before the music dropped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 103

You deserved it 6 611

Don't care

By Anonymous - 19/02/2020 01:00

Today, I realized that I'm a horrible uncle, I have two nephews and I don't know their age nor birthday. They are twins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 692

You deserved it 1 550

By Kit2019 - 23/07/2019 12:00 - United States

Today, I got overly excited because someone texted me, but then realized that moments before, I had sent myself a message. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 290

You deserved it 383

By Anonymous - 31/12/2011 08:44 - United States

Today, my favorite fish died. To make things better my parents thought to take me out to dinner. We ate sushi. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 525

You deserved it 6 626

By Username - 31/03/2011 07:20 - United States

Today, while on vacation, I realized my parents and grandparents had been running off and doing quite a few errands lately. After doing some sleuthing, I discovered they were taking turns having blood-curdling sex in our other hotel room down the hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 554

You deserved it 11 140

By Anonymous - 20/03/2014 02:43 - United States - Canyon

Today, my boyfriend decided it was time to spice up our sex life. He now watches Sons Of Anarchy when we have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 113

You deserved it 6 954

By hard_headed - 10/09/2010 10:02 - United States

Today, at work, I leaned back in a chair too far, causing me to tip over and smash my head into a wall. If that wasn't enough damage, my boss keeps replaying the security footage to everyone I work with. My head hurts not from the fall, but the loud laughter that keeps coming from inside the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 852

You deserved it 22 937

He'll understand when he's older

By Anonymous - 02/05/2020 17:00

Today, I was reading one of the numerous Thomas the Tank Engine books to my 3-year-old, train obsessed, nanny kid. They needed tinder to relight Thomas's firebox. I laughed when reading this and told him, "I have Tinder too!" He's convinced I'm a train. FML

I agree, your life sucks 522

You deserved it 1 579

By bad dad - 05/06/2019 06:00

Today, trying to be a good co-parent, I asked my ex if he’d like to go to the circus with our kids and I. His new girlfriend of a whopping five days said it made her uncomfortable. He stood us up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 092

You deserved it 172

By Xpresss - 02/02/2009 10:39 - United States

Today, I came into work with a new hair cut and so far everyone has asked me If I lost a bet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 769

You deserved it 3 554

By Anonymous - 06/12/2015 09:58 - United States - Asheville

Today, at work, my vindictive, cheating ex made me clean and inspect her new wedding ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 210

You deserved it 2 192

By smurftastic - 03/09/2013 03:03 - United States - Murrieta

Today, my company is doing so bad that I had to take down my symbolic first dollar so that I could buy a roll of crackers for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 497

You deserved it 3 787

By zerom - 23/07/2011 00:52 - France

Today, I was discussing the traffic with my brother. He said the most common car colour is red. I said it was black. We ended up betting €100 on which three vehicles of either colour would pass by our house first. It seems a convoy of fire trucks had somewhere to be in a hurry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 137

You deserved it 12 211

By rejected4ever - 14/02/2012 18:29 - United States

Today, for Valentine's Day, my boyfriend gave me the half-eaten chocolate bar that I left in his fridge two weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 504

You deserved it 4 181

By Peter C. - 22/01/2011 05:53 - United States

Today, my friends and I were messing around with an app on my phone that makes your picture look fat. My picture looked the same before and after. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 171

You deserved it 10 385

By the_lonely_life - 27/06/2013 01:02 - United States

Today, I cleaned up my brother's room, since he's moved out. Under the bed I found a Doritos bag full of used condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 020

You deserved it 7 020

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Top comments

Nico1929 5

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Tuesday 8 November 2011 9:07

I WAS CURIOUS!!!

kimmiekimmiekong 0

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Tuesday 8 November 2011 9:14

dumb ass *red foreman voice*

Nico1929 5

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Tuesday 8 November 2011 9:07

I WAS CURIOUS!!!

changesinme 0

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Tuesday 8 November 2011 9:19

it's not easy being minty

iam_yummylicious 12

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Tuesday 8 November 2011 9:27

Today, I lost faith in humanity even more. FML

awagh666 14

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Tuesday 8 November 2011 9:35

So many places to stick things in, and OP sticks it up the nose. Tsk tsk

Choose_Wisely 5

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Tuesday 8 November 2011 16:22

if it was one of those peppermint patties.. whoa...

FreshlyCut 0

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Tuesday 8 November 2011 16:30

Why so curious george?

WillyHorse19 4

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Tuesday 8 November 2011 17:03

I moderated this one :D

bizarre_ftw 21

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Tuesday 8 November 2011 17:35

(16) Today, I learned people still have faith in humanity, WTF

FarSide 22

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Wednesday 9 November 2011 5:08

Like a breath mint? Or the kind they put in the bottom of men's urinals?

trollfaced 2

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Wednesday 9 November 2011 7:42

Altoids - curiously strong mints

rdvfyubuyg 1

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Friday 11 November 2011 1:58

I putting a tic tac up my nose but it doesn't hurt what the hell?

MondRubberduck 24

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Friday 13 June 2014 16:06

Curiosity is the Cats death

ladyvader401 5

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Tuesday 8 November 2011 9:07

I sincerely hope you at least made some money off your friends in exchange for that one.

yankfan89 27

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Tuesday 8 November 2011 11:35

If not she is an idiot for doing it for free

fiju 15

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Tuesday 8 November 2011 9:07

why would you do that? -.-

neverletup21 2

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Wednesday 9 November 2011 14:25

Question is,y WOULDNT! He do that!?

himoonkey 8

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Thursday 10 November 2011 3:06

Fuck 105 I was gonna say that >:L

himoonkey 8

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Thursday 10 November 2011 3:06

Fuck 105 I was gonna say that >:L

lil_ham1644 29

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Thursday 6 February 2014 0:23

She

toxicpinkcandy 10

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Tuesday 8 November 2011 9:09

Did u mistake it for coke?

Nico1929 5

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Tuesday 8 November 2011 9:11

It's a mentos... They're the fresh maker...

FreeDrawn 7

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Tuesday 8 November 2011 13:46

because coke always goes up your nose :)

bizarre_ftw 21

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Tuesday 8 November 2011 17:21

44 - kid, you're 15. You realize by now what kind of coke they meant

deviable 9

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Tuesday 8 November 2011 9:11

Sticking something up your nose is always a bad idea.

salsa324 0

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Wednesday 9 November 2011 5:02

Orly because I stuck a mint up my nose and it got stuck. Ok it is a bad idea!!!!!

pedosmurf 7

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Thursday 1 March 2012 21:33

When I was little I put a popcorn kernel in my ear but I was five you have downs

bacon1043 3

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Tuesday 8 November 2011 9:12

Future doctor over here!

DynamicDave 11

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Tuesday 8 November 2011 9:21

Dang the mods are fast. Comment I had here is now irrelevant.

bacon1043 3

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Tuesday 8 November 2011 9:12

Future doctor over here!

Lanaee123 0

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Tuesday 8 November 2011 9:13

Dumbass

Draxanoth 15

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Tuesday 8 November 2011 9:13

Now when you sneeze it will be minty fresh!!

Clubkicker_fml 0

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Tuesday 8 November 2011 9:13

You don't need to say it twice

Nearly

Today, it has been 7 years of me submitting FML’s. I don’t know what worse, that I’ve submitted so many of that none have never been featured. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18

You deserved it 11

Today, I spent my 25th birthday crying alone in my room with my baby, because no else seemed to care it was my birthday. My partner and I had a fight the night before and we haven’t spoken or seen each other since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56

You deserved it 17

Spicy

Today, I found out I’m going to be a father, twice over, with two different women. Sisters, in fact. Only one of those sisters is my wife. Should I flee abroad, or walk calmly towards the firing squad straight away? FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 2 307

Today, my boyfriend finally told me after over two years together that the reason we only have sex once a month is because my stomach is, “off-putting”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 882

You deserved it 194

You go Glenn Coco!

What did I say, Roy?

Dazed and confused

Jealousy

Bro moment

Don't care

He'll understand when he's older

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