Today, I was watching TV when a Toy Story 3 commercial came on. My Mom said, "Oh, I remember when I took you to see Toy Story. Now Andy's all grown up and so are you. The only difference is Andy is going to college and you're not." FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I saw that Pixar had put out a teaser trailer for Toy Story 3. I got so excited to watch it that had to go lay in bed for a few minutes in order to calm myself down. I'm 19 years old. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I finally watched Toy Story 3; I ended up crying when the toys almost die. After the movie, my girlfriend broke up with me because I embarrassed her. FML
Today, my manager told me to throw out some of the old toys at the daycare we work at. I can't because I've seen Toy Story 3, and thinking about them in a dump makes me cry. I'm 28. FML
Today, my daughter had a meltdown when I told her I donated some of her old toys to Goodwill. It turns out Toy Story has taught her that toys have feelings and that she has a meaningful relationship with them. She's in her teens. FML
Today, I realized the reason my 20-year-old daughter has been so moody and aggressive is because she missed the promotional My Little Pony toys at McDonald's. FML
Today, I finally bought the toy my two year-old son always wanted. He would always tap on the TV when the commercial for it would appear. I gave him the gift, and he started playing with the bag it came in. FML
Today, I went to McDonald's and ordered a Happy Meal with a girl's toy. The high school girls behind the counter said I was too old to be served one, and I had to go home and explain to my sick daughter why she didn't get her toy. FML
Today, my three year old nephew was pointing at the TV screen and saying "Uncle, Uncle!" He thought it was me on the screen. It was Rosie O'Donnell. FML
Today, I went to watch the Movie "UP." At one point in the movie I got really sad and started to cry a bit. The 7 year old girl next to me noticed and told me to shut and man up. FML
Today, I told my mom a funny story, and she responded with, “Yeah, I saw it on your Instagram last week.” My life is now reduced to reruns. FML
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Top comments
wasup21 0
should have studied in school
Quest_ 13
It's not your fault that your ma masturbates to the idea of having a kid that goes to college. You are you! Sometimes I wish I wasn't going to uni and had opted to learn a nice trade instead. Or married a very old hotel tycoon.
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Comments (209)
chicknugget5 4
maybe you should stop being stupid and go to college then your mom will love you... maybe
Freeze_fml 17
Good luck in your very successful future career and your many references to receive a wealthy job.
_DANTE_ 0
I don't see how the OP deserves this. It's not necessarily because he's stupid/unambitious... I wasn't able to go off to college either, because I had no money and my parents never created a college fund for me. And not everybody is good enough academically to earn scholarships.
dblogic 19
Word! I'm in the same boat Dante, thanks for speaking up!
terry984 0
that's sucks big time!
mR_StAtiiC 0
so where's the Fml??
idkxbored 0
that was kinda harsh of your mom to say lol. I guess she really wanted you to go to college :P
uroborous 0
yer mom is a bitch
NightKiller 0
this might be an FML because the OP wants to go to college, but they don't have the money, and his mom doesn't care about his feelings. otherwise why would the OP care if it was his choice not to go to college?
yamiibaybee 0
college isn't meant for everyone .... just try not to turn into a lazy bum either. try and get yourself a job and show your mom that college isn't the only way to get somewhere.
baristalbc 18
geez, cam anyone just appreciate the mom's sense of (twisted) humor?