Today, I was watching TV when a Toy Story 3 commercial came on. My Mom said, "Oh, I remember when I took you to see Toy Story. Now Andy's all grown up and so are you. The only difference is Andy is going to college and you're not." FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I saw that Pixar had put out a teaser trailer for Toy Story 3. I got so excited to watch it that had to go lay in bed for a few minutes in order to calm myself down. I'm 19 years old. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I finally watched Toy Story 3; I ended up crying when the toys almost die. After the movie, my girlfriend broke up with me because I embarrassed her. FML
Today, my manager told me to throw out some of the old toys at the daycare we work at. I can't because I've seen Toy Story 3, and thinking about them in a dump makes me cry. I'm 28. FML
Today, my daughter had a meltdown when I told her I donated some of her old toys to Goodwill. It turns out Toy Story has taught her that toys have feelings and that she has a meaningful relationship with them. She's in her teens. FML
Today, I realized the reason my 20-year-old daughter has been so moody and aggressive is because she missed the promotional My Little Pony toys at McDonald's. FML
Today, I finally bought the toy my two year-old son always wanted. He would always tap on the TV when the commercial for it would appear. I gave him the gift, and he started playing with the bag it came in. FML
Today, I went to McDonald's and ordered a Happy Meal with a girl's toy. The high school girls behind the counter said I was too old to be served one, and I had to go home and explain to my sick daughter why she didn't get her toy. FML
Today, my three year old nephew was pointing at the TV screen and saying "Uncle, Uncle!" He thought it was me on the screen. It was Rosie O'Donnell. FML
Today, I went to watch the Movie "UP." At one point in the movie I got really sad and started to cry a bit. The 7 year old girl next to me noticed and told me to shut and man up. FML
Today, I told my mom a funny story, and she responded with, “Yeah, I saw it on your Instagram last week.” My life is now reduced to reruns. FML
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Top comments
wasup21 0
should have studied in school
Quest_ 13
It's not your fault that your ma masturbates to the idea of having a kid that goes to college. You are you! Sometimes I wish I wasn't going to uni and had opted to learn a nice trade instead. Or married a very old hotel tycoon.
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Comments (209)
crownedwolf 0
I don't see how this is bad. Your mom is just making an observation. If your not happy that your not going to college like Andy, then maybe you should get your act together and go.
CaptCesar 0
lmao! FYL Toy Story 3 was awesome though! d:
Quest_ 13
It's not your fault that your ma masturbates to the idea of having a kid that goes to college. You are you! Sometimes I wish I wasn't going to uni and had opted to learn a nice trade instead. Or married a very old hotel tycoon.
sweetdreams999 0
lol your entire comment was just awesome. old men ftw.. rich old men. lol
MoJoThundRpants 0
join the military, you'll be twice the man you are
drakeforever 0
it's worst enough that ur stupid but when ur mom says it to that just proves what a dumdass u are!
drakeforever 0
okayy thanks for correcting me(: sorry gosh I am on my iPod I exspect it to correct it for me!
Freeze_fml 17
too* I think... It's really so bad that I can't tell. We need to get back to the drawing board with this one.
BBQuberSauce 0
also forgot *too
drakeforever 0
nobody likes a smartass so stop correcting people!!!!!!!
Raleigh_bruh 7
No need for excess punctuation, Ignorance.
Chrisskiies 0
You can't tell Ignorance what to do, haven't you learned Raleigh?
drakeforever 0
Yes I do but hello it's summer nobody gives a shit about school right now!!!!!
Raleigh_bruh 7
I'm very stubborn, Chris. :P
Raleigh_bruh 7
*phonics. :]
drakeforever 0
okay u little fml nerds go on a correct somebody eles cause it's sad that yall spend ur time correcting peoples writing
hellokittywhore 0
thank you 41!! :D
Chrisskiies 0
you* else* y'all* people's* Btw your welcome. 8)
Freeze_fml 17
*Okay *you *FML *and ? *else *because *y'all *your *people's . That "people's" one had me worried!
drakeforever 0
okay first of all u have no ******* idea who I am??
Raleigh_bruh 7
Chris *you're You're welcome. :]
drakeforever 0
Ok since you think your all smart: You don't use a comma before because and or(:
Freeze_fml 17
Quit sinning already!
Chrisskiies 0
Raleigh it's his welcome, lol. Jk My iPod is under a 20% battery so I type too fast for it, and I just glanced at what I wrote lol.
Chrisskiies 0
You don't use a comma before, and, or.* Of course we don't, there's a space before those if it's needed. Lmao. =]
Chrisskiies 0
Ah becuase, and, or.* Dammit. -_- I failed. -_-
Chrisskiies 0
Thank you Ignorance, I always mispell that word. :/
Freeze_fml 17
This is amusing.
Raleigh_bruh 7
Aha, damn it. I was just about to get that one. :/
Chrisskiies 0
I'm wondering why my iPod isn't autocorrecting these damn words as it should be. D: Sigh..
Raleigh_bruh 7
Don't always depend on technology to fix human errors. >:]
drakeforever 0
Well that's to bad! I got Honor Roll in middle school and again in high school. (:
Raleigh_bruh 7
#126 - Are you really attempting to brag after just having every other thing you type corrected?
drakeforever 0
He got it right. It's *to not *too!
Chrisskiies 0
It's futile, I hate proofreading my writing. I don't always catch the mistakes.
drakeforever 0
yes because it proves that there are other things that make you smart other than correcting people's writing!
Chrisskiies 0
Actually you bragging doesn't prove anything. Other than you have quite a bit of an ego. But if you have proof of your accomplishment, that's a slightly different story.
Raleigh_bruh 7
Hm, well I don't correct other people's spelling. So I have no idea what you're talkinh about.
Freeze_fml 17
I've noticed this for a while now, so it's time to end it. Sigh...* Three periods.
drakeforever 0
I wasn't talking about you and yes I have proof!
Raleigh_bruh 7
*talking
Raleigh_bruh 7
Ignorance, you're late.
Chrisskiies 0
Nope Freeze, I used two on purpose to see who'd catch it. Congratulations! Your consolidation price is a virtual high-five. Lol, I am out of here, before I am corrected again.
Freeze_fml 17
prize* I've seen someone else in this thread also misuse it. It must be said.
Chrisskiies 0
It's late, sue me. Lol. Okay now I believe this one is free of mistakes, goodnight.
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
consolation*
Trollz4daLULZ 2
I realize the grammar/spelling discussion was over before I saw this FML, and that I missed the whole thing. However, #121, YDI for using an Apple product. I wonder when my Apple YDIs will outnumber my fornicating YDIs. Soon, probably.
Kakapo4Ever 11
Nobody likes a dumbass.
simplyyamazingg 0
I don't get the big deal. it's not like she was lying, just stating the facts. (:
lesliexhardcorex 0
that exactly what happened to me. ._. hahaha
TropicalTulipz 0
ydi for being a dumbass :P
TheNewGuy03 29
well, sorry to break it to you, but... your mom is awesome! >< |the kid|
mrskristindavis 0
so? what's the big deal? she's stating the facts if you don't like it then change it.