Today, I was watching TV on the couch. My mom then kicked me off so she could lie down. Exhausted, I asked if I could sit at the end. She said no. A minute later she called the dog to come sit with her. As I was sitting on the ground, my mom told me to move because, "the dog can't see the TV." FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I was sitting in my room watching TV when I heard my mother obnoxiously yelling for the dog. Minutes later she stomped into my room, swatted me over the head, and yelled at me for not answering when she called. She actually got my name mixed up with the dog's. FML
Today, after watching TV, my boyfriend and I had to go walk our dog. I was too lazy to get up from the couch immediately so I teased him by turning off all the (smart) lights using my phone. He got mad and went upstairs to continue watching TV, so now I have to walk the dog alone. FML
Today, my boyfriend kicked me out of bed so the dog could get under the covers. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs. My mom came running from the other room because she thought it was the dog. She rolled her eyes and walked away when she saw it was me. FML
Today, my mom's dog saw a cat in our yard. I watched as he tried to jump at it, only to smack face-first into the window. He did this twice more before curling up on the floor and whimpering pitifully. When my mom came in and saw him there, and me laughing, she accused me of beating him. FML
Today, my dog and I were sitting on the couch. I went to the bathroom, came back, and saw him walk over the remote, which caused the TV to change to the Hustler channel, just a few moments before my girlfriend walked through the door. FML
Today, my mother yelled and yelled at me until I apologized to our cat for not petting him when he sat on my lap. FML
Today, I was laying on a couch with my dog watching TV when I heard my dog fart. I looked at her, she looked at me and started waving her tail, blowing it into my direction. FML
Today, my mom was in a really bad mood, so I stayed in my room to avoid her. It didn't take long before she barged in and started bitching about my dog, who'd pissed her off by acting too happy. Yes, she's actually that insane, and I have to deal with it on a daily basis. FML
Today, my mom and I were going to the store. I stayed in the car while she went in. In the car next to me, there was a dog in the driver's seat barking at me. Bored, I barked back at it until I realized there was someone in the passenger's seat watching me. FML
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Top comments
BKF 0
LMAO! But seriously, FYL your Mom's a bitch.
NGM_KID 0
Well, what makes you think you're more important than her dog? lol jk!! Your mom is such a bitch!!
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Comments (199)
screwloose 0
YDI. You know why? Because you couldn't take a hint. Your mom was tired. She wanted to lay on the couch and watch TV and NOT HAVE YOU THERE! She kicked you off the couch. She told you not to sit with her. She brought the dog in to beef up her defense. She didn't want to be with you-- moms need a break, too. In fact, moms need a break every day, but they just have to save it up for the day YOU decide to get your shit together and move out. Take a hint-- go read a book or ********** in your bedroom like a normal kid.
ianjoseph 0
wow, what a bitch.
LiveLoveLife_fml 0
@127... no offence and all.. but please shut up.. cause... well thats just a little mean.. Maybe the OP CAN'T move out? Or maybe the mom just was being a little bitchy? Or if your right, she could have been a little nicer in saying it.... instead of kicking the OP off... and then making the OP move cause the DOG can't see... I
ianjoseph 0
#127, screw that, she could just go to her room!
elsimio 0
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! oh brother! perhaps it is a sign you should start considering MOVING THE F**** OUT OF YOUR PARENT'S HOUSE?
LiveLoveLife_fml 0
@131.... MAYBE THE OP CAN'T MOVE OUT STOP saying MOVE OUT ppl... sometimes the Op's CANT.. so just enjoy the OP's story ok? Thankss (: P.S. Don't start bitching at me for telling the truthhh
wallythedolly 0
#131, you know that most people who post on this site are under 18, right? Most people don't move out when they're still in high school.
151Henry151 0
Did anybody else notice how totally bizarre post #14 is?
Anonymous_F_Up 0
Thats really sad. I didnt laugh. It just sucks.
kcirtapatrick 0
I'm gonna go with this was your fault for taking it. If she was actually serious then you should have said "**** you, go make me a sandwich" and if she was trying to be funny then, well, you should have said "**** you, go make me a sandwich".