Bitches be crazy.

Noone said the dog was female!

No one said he was talking about the dog, either.

Gee thanks for that, I was totally unaware of that fact and wasn't at all making a joke regarding the real definition of a bitch.

Aw, shucks. I mutt-n't have read the FML correctly. Can-i-ne try again, or is it to the dog-house for me? My joke looks really a-paw-lling now that you say that.

Shut up and fetch me a sandwich!

Aaaand you killed it.

This FML isn't even remotely funny.

Those are so punny. -_-

52- agreed, some people act like Doc is the only one allowed to make puns. Ridiculous.

62 - Enough with the "punny" joke. It's not funny :P

I'm still annoyed because even though I have been reading these forever I only just started reading the comments and have never (or I think I haven't) seen this Doc Bastard guy

scroll down a little bit. you'll see it.

So my understanding is the gf is judging based on what she saw and not believing what really happened.

That happens to everyone. *wink wink*

The dog, riiigggghhhht!

Time for some fun!

I love those channels! I have 5 in total.

3 straight
1gay
1 lesbian

Glad you shared your taste in porn with us 76 haha. But for the OP, you shouldn't be ashamed. Either tell her you're really horny or that you were trying to learn some new moves in the the sack for her. Either excuse and you just might get some sexy time. Unless she's a prune and doesn't allow you to watch some porn.

This one.. you can blame on the dog.

Ahhh the old "The dog changed the remote." excuse. I see....

The dog just wanted to see how humans attempted doggy-style.

I'd rush back into the bathroom, and come out shortly after she arrived, and pretend like nothing happened. Though then she'd think I was jerking to the sounds.

That's the only reason he has a dog.

I love how FMLs leave the reader hanging 99.9% of the time. What happened next, OP?

The girlfriend pulled a dildo out of her purse and inserted it into OP's anus. Obvi.

I'm sorry, what?

He asked what happened next. I provided the most likely of scenarios.

I don't know about most women, but I don't carry a dildo around in my purse. Honestly, if I found my fiancé and his dog on the couch watching hustlers, I would just laugh.

What are you talking about, Noor? No one is ever sarcastic on the internet.

Sarcasm? All of this new-fangled technology just has me all a-twitter.

No? Okay. I'd say I'd quit while I was ahead, but I was running backwards from the beginning.

Just loosen up a bit. Don't be so serious :p

That's bad luck, have fun explaining that one!

It shouldn't be too hard if they're both even remotely mature. If you're so insecure in your relationship that finding your partner watching something sexual offends you or makes you jealous, maybe you're just not mature enough for a relationship.

Was remotely a pun?

The girlfriend could be religious. Religions generally grown upon the viewing of pornography. Also, I don't care if my boyfriend watches porn, but I'd still be pretty stunned to walk in on him doing it, especially if he was expecting me to come over.

*frown upon. Sorry. My dog apparently hasn't gotten the hang of this swype thing.

I think I see a new twix commercial in the making...

haha twix gets all their comercial ideas from fml what are you talking about

Yeah right, " the dog stepped on the remote!"

You're still paying for the Hustler channel.

"(S)he tripped and I fell!"

At least it wasn't Maleflixxx or HardTV?

Your dog was trying to set the mood for the both of you. I think your dog deserves an extra treat for that.

The dog is obviously male then. If it was female, it'd have gone for Romantica (I guess?), nothing like a latin hot actor throwing flowers and gifts at his beloved on to make a girl horny.

The dog threw you a bone. Return the favor.

Explain what happened , you's will end up laughing about it