Today, my dog and I were sitting on the couch. I went to the bathroom, came back, and saw him walk over the remote, which caused the TV to change to the Hustler channel, just a few moments before my girlfriend walked through the door. FML
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Top comments
By
Pleonasm
| 34
Bitches be crazy.
By
TorturedXeno
| 27
I love how FMLs leave the reader hanging 99.9% of the time. What happened next, OP?
COMMENTS
By
Pleonasm
| 34
Bitches be crazy.
Reply
shayshayshazam
| 14
Noone said the dog was female!
Reply
Neonemerld
| 19
No one said he was talking about the dog, either.
Reply
shayshayshazam
| 14
Gee thanks for that, I was totally unaware of that fact and wasn't at all making a joke regarding the real definition of a bitch.
Reply
Pleonasm
| 34
Aw, shucks. I mutt-n't have read the FML correctly. Can-i-ne try again, or is it to the dog-house for me? My joke looks really a-paw-lling now that you say that.
Reply
shayshayshazam
| 14
Shut up and fetch me a sandwich!
Reply
Neonemerld
| 19
Aaaand you killed it.
Reply
imavelociraptor
| 6
This FML isn't even remotely funny.
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RoperGirl203
| 9
Those are so punny. -_-
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gc327072
| 29
52- agreed, some people act like Doc is the only one allowed to make puns. Ridiculous.
Reply
iOceanus
| 18
62 - Enough with the "punny" joke. It's not funny :P
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Nilla_Please
| 12
I'm still annoyed because even though I have been reading these forever I only just started reading the comments and have never (or I think I haven't) seen this Doc Bastard guy
Reply
_krystallynn_
| 11
scroll down a little bit. you'll see it.
Reply
MDTeddy
| 13
So my understanding is the gf is judging based on what she saw and not believing what really happened.
By
tj5810
| 21
That happens to everyone. *wink wink*
Reply
RBntM
| 10
The dog, riiigggghhhht!
Reply
hama806
| 19
Time for some fun!
Reply
onlychildFTW
| 33
I love those channels! I have 5 in total.
3 straight
1gay
1 lesbian
3 straight
1gay
1 lesbian
Reply
CallMeMcFeelii
| 13
Glad you shared your taste in porn with us 76 haha. But for the OP, you shouldn't be ashamed. Either tell her you're really horny or that you were trying to learn some new moves in the the sack for her. Either excuse and you just might get some sexy time. Unless she's a prune and doesn't allow you to watch some porn.
By
Curiousmaknae
| 5
This one.. you can blame on the dog.
Reply
iseyixes
| 18
Ahhh the old "The dog changed the remote." excuse. I see....
Reply
Pleonasm
| 34
The dog just wanted to see how humans attempted doggy-style.
Reply
Inheritance
| 10
I'd rush back into the bathroom, and come out shortly after she arrived, and pretend like nothing happened. Though then she'd think I was jerking to the sounds.
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decidedlyvague
| 11
That's the only reason he has a dog.
By
TorturedXeno
| 27
I love how FMLs leave the reader hanging 99.9% of the time. What happened next, OP?
Reply
cray_cray
| 2
The girlfriend pulled a dildo out of her purse and inserted it into OP's anus. Obvi.
Reply
Neonemerld
| 19
I'm sorry, what?
Reply
cray_cray
| 2
He asked what happened next. I provided the most likely of scenarios.
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Neonemerld
| 19
I don't know about most women, but I don't carry a dildo around in my purse. Honestly, if I found my fiancé and his dog on the couch watching hustlers, I would just laugh.
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Pleonasm
| 34
What are you talking about, Noor? No one is ever sarcastic on the internet.
Reply
Neonemerld
| 19
Sarcasm? All of this new-fangled technology just has me all a-twitter.
No? Okay. I'd say I'd quit while I was ahead, but I was running backwards from the beginning.
No? Okay. I'd say I'd quit while I was ahead, but I was running backwards from the beginning.
Reply
cray_cray
| 2
Just loosen up a bit. Don't be so serious :p
By
MsConfusedd
| 27
That's bad luck, have fun explaining that one!
Reply
Neonemerld
| 19
It shouldn't be too hard if they're both even remotely mature. If you're so insecure in your relationship that finding your partner watching something sexual offends you or makes you jealous, maybe you're just not mature enough for a relationship.
Reply
ScaughtieHolden
| 11
Was remotely a pun?
Reply
gracehi
| 31
The girlfriend could be religious. Religions generally grown upon the viewing of pornography. Also, I don't care if my boyfriend watches porn, but I'd still be pretty stunned to walk in on him doing it, especially if he was expecting me to come over.
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gracehi
| 31
*frown upon. Sorry. My dog apparently hasn't gotten the hang of this swype thing.
By
DownDownAndAway
| 0
I think I see a new twix commercial in the making...
Reply
wickedninja918
| 1
haha twix gets all their comercial ideas from fml what are you talking about
By
Nighthunter
| 11
Yeah right, " the dog stepped on the remote!"
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ohSNAPyall
| 26
You're still paying for the Hustler channel.
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TorturedXeno
| 27
"(S)he tripped and I fell!"
By
cray_cray
| 2
At least it wasn't Maleflixxx or HardTV?
By
melij99
| 5
Your dog was trying to set the mood for the both of you. I think your dog deserves an extra treat for that.
Reply
Acik91
| 26
The dog is obviously male then. If it was female, it'd have gone for Romantica (I guess?), nothing like a latin hot actor throwing flowers and gifts at his beloved on to make a girl horny.
Reply
ohSNAPyall
| 26
The dog threw you a bone. Return the favor.
By
MrSarary
| 26
Explain what happened , you's will end up laughing about it