Intimacy: Today, I was walking with and hugging my girlfriend at the same...

By Anonymous - 21/11/2010 08:01 - Mexico

Today, I was walking with and hugging my girlfriend at the same time. I tried to be funny and touched her breast, saying "Boob" in a silly voice. In reply, she slapped me in the crotch, saying "Dick" in the same voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 398

You deserved it 65 815

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Same thing different taste

By ass slap - 11/08/2013 15:35 - United States - Broomall

Today, while I was hanging out with a cute girl, I slapped her ass playfully. She told me that she was going to get me back. She slapped my ass later that night unexpectedly while I was holding in a huge fart... It came out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 213

You deserved it 24 811

Hanging

By James - 31/07/2011 04:20 - United States

Today, I was at a local restaurant. The girl that I like walked by so I tried to give her a high five. My hand ended up on her boob instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 389

You deserved it 17 989

By Anonymous - 11/11/2014 15:37 - United States

Today, my wife slapped me for touching her boobs during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 343

You deserved it 6 270

By civicman - 27/09/2009 02:19 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling on the couch with my girlfriend when I started to tickle her, she asked me to stop but I continued. She had a reaction, and kneed me in the happy sacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 671

You deserved it 66 208

By Anonymous - 21/01/2012 22:38 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were hugging in the hall after school. This annoying kid I know walked by, and yelled, "Tiny penis!" at me. My girlfriend responded, "Yep." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 414

You deserved it 5 039

By Something I said? - 05/11/2013 15:26 - United States - Bronx

Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 049

You deserved it 59 047

By undoable - 08/09/2010 23:14 - United States

Today, I was doing it with my girlfriend. Trying to be sexy, I moaned her name. She replied, "What?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 183

You deserved it 9 755

I am clumsy!

By Anonymous - 16/01/2020 18:00

Today my girlfriend was on top during sex. I went to slap her butt, missed and nailed myself in the balls. We had to stop. She wouldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 392

You deserved it 3 159

By Anonymous - 17/07/2011 08:43 - United States

Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 360

You deserved it 22 608

Knight

By Racked - 01/03/2016 18:00 - United States - Corpus Christi

Today, I walked my girlfriend home. As I kissed her goodbye, I heard a high-pitched scream and turned just in time to see her little brother charge head-first into my nuts. All because I kissed her on the cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 217

You deserved it 1 920

canadian_ftw 8

Sunday 21 November 2010 16:29

whenever an FML says 'I tried to be funny...' it's like an instant YDI.

cufaoil 11

Sunday 21 November 2010 16:22

well, you were acting like a dick, OP

Comments

mysticwater 0

Monday 22 November 2010 20:45

LOL I do that to my bf all the time. you guys never learn. our boobs hurt if you poke them! smart gf!

Mcgillicutty22 0

Monday 22 November 2010 22:21

dude, I know exactly how you feel.

wowzersselainee 0

Tuesday 23 November 2010 3:38

lmfaooo u deserved it I woulda held on a little longer so u learned ur lesson ;) some of us have really sensitive boobs

MaidenNoMore 0

Tuesday 23 November 2010 4:47

Yeah,c, u just DON'T do that

vollyball921 0

Tuesday 23 November 2010 4:47

lmao xD

mattstermind93 0

Tuesday 23 November 2010 5:20

I had the sane thing happen

GangstaGalahleio 0

Tuesday 23 November 2010 5:53

haha this one made me laugh.

malteseassassin 0

Tuesday 23 November 2010 9:19

**** that **** dump the bitch

Faleni 4

Tuesday 23 November 2010 11:11

awww op you have a funny gf!! she's a keeper!! p.s ydi lol

capnbzarr 43

Wednesday 24 November 2010 1:39

I love this GF of his. YDI, dork.

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Health Awkward Jewelry Kids Fight Family Love Work Relatable Students Noise Birds Sleep Animals Mental health Medication Contraception Racism Relationship advice Pregnancy Cheating Friends Teenagers Intimacy Sex Embarrassing Revenge Food Cats

The Top

Today, while on vacation, I realized my parents and grandparents had been running off and doing quite a few errands lately. After doing some sleuthing, I discovered they were taking turns having blood-curdling sex in our other hotel room down the hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 681

You deserved it 11 188

Today, I found out that if you put tea bags into a cup of hot water, the tea bags will melt. The result: You get to drink and chew tea leaves at the same time, with little bits of actual tea to help make them go down. 0/10, do not recommend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 330

The Top

Today, I asked my coworker how she met the old guy from Squid Games. It turned out to be a picture of her with her grandmother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 260

You deserved it 1 215

Today, I caught a man standing on my porch, urinating on my house. I called the cops, who informed me that because my porch isn't fenced off, it's not trespassing, and because it's private property not visible from the street, the man wasn't urinating in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 259

You deserved it 3 702

Today, thanks to my wife's confession, I found out that the 14 year old child I've raised since I was 16 isn't related to me at all. But at least this narrows the real father down to one of three other guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 580

You deserved it 4 302

Today, I found out my older brother put tanning lotion in the lotion I use to masturbate with. Now I have orange palms and an orange penis which won't go away for weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 902

You deserved it 46 322

Today, my sister trashed all our family's antique books, saying, "I don't want a thousand old books written by dead white men." They were family heirlooms from the 19th century, and the whole collection was worth thousands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 554

You deserved it 96

Today, I was pushing my 4 year old on the swing. I did what we call our "under doggie push": I throw her up in the air while I run underneath her before she hits me coming back down. I walked away to get my water and she yelled across the park "Can we do it doggie-style again?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 349

You deserved it 19 419

Same thing different taste

Hanging

I am clumsy!

Knight

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