Intimacy: Today, I was walking with and hugging my girlfriend at the same...

By Anonymous - 21/11/2010 08:01 - Mexico

Today, I was walking with and hugging my girlfriend at the same time. I tried to be funny and touched her breast, saying "Boob" in a silly voice. In reply, she slapped me in the crotch, saying "Dick" in the same voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 398

You deserved it 65 815

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Same thing different taste

By ass slap - 11/08/2013 15:35 - United States - Broomall

Today, while I was hanging out with a cute girl, I slapped her ass playfully. She told me that she was going to get me back. She slapped my ass later that night unexpectedly while I was holding in a huge fart... It came out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 213

You deserved it 24 811

Hanging

By James - 31/07/2011 04:20 - United States

Today, I was at a local restaurant. The girl that I like walked by so I tried to give her a high five. My hand ended up on her boob instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 389

You deserved it 17 989

By Anonymous - 11/11/2014 15:37 - United States

Today, my wife slapped me for touching her boobs during sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 343

You deserved it 6 270

By civicman - 27/09/2009 02:19 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling on the couch with my girlfriend when I started to tickle her, she asked me to stop but I continued. She had a reaction, and kneed me in the happy sacks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 671

You deserved it 66 208

By Anonymous - 21/01/2012 22:38 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were hugging in the hall after school. This annoying kid I know walked by, and yelled, "Tiny penis!" at me. My girlfriend responded, "Yep." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 414

You deserved it 5 039

By Something I said? - 05/11/2013 15:26 - United States - Bronx

Today, as my wife and I were getting intimate, I thought I would try a little "dirty talk". I whispered in her ear that I would "dick her down good". She couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 049

You deserved it 59 047

By undoable - 08/09/2010 23:14 - United States

Today, I was doing it with my girlfriend. Trying to be sexy, I moaned her name. She replied, "What?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 183

You deserved it 9 755

I am clumsy!

By Anonymous - 16/01/2020 18:00

Today my girlfriend was on top during sex. I went to slap her butt, missed and nailed myself in the balls. We had to stop. She wouldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 392

You deserved it 3 159

By Anonymous - 17/07/2011 08:43 - United States

Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 360

You deserved it 22 608

Knight

By Racked - 01/03/2016 18:00 - United States - Corpus Christi

Today, I walked my girlfriend home. As I kissed her goodbye, I heard a high-pitched scream and turned just in time to see her little brother charge head-first into my nuts. All because I kissed her on the cheek. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 217

You deserved it 1 920

canadian_ftw 8

Sunday 21 November 2010 16:29

whenever an FML says 'I tried to be funny...' it's like an instant YDI.

cufaoil 11

Sunday 21 November 2010 16:22

well, you were acting like a dick, OP

Comments

taylorr14 0

Monday 22 November 2010 8:28

you walked in to that one lol

Musician37 0

Monday 22 November 2010 8:33

It coulda been worse..

DaleksAreEpic 0

Monday 22 November 2010 8:34

*slaps OP's head* Empty.

shay224ah 5

Monday 22 November 2010 8:36

YDI ...your gf is funny

Draminicaus 0

Monday 22 November 2010 8:46

That is actually really hilarious. More girls should do stuff like that. I'm a big, broad kinda guy. I like knowing my significant other can cut me down to size. Is that weird? lol

JuggerzTheCat 0

Monday 22 November 2010 14:56

*makes whip noise* :p

Draminicaus 0

Monday 22 November 2010 14:59

hahaha....No no no. No whips and chains. Just wit. Lots of wit. lol

batman8 0

Monday 22 November 2010 11:27

u my friend, have a hilarious girl by your side

KupkakeKitten 8

Monday 22 November 2010 13:11

she should have kicked, not slapped

MeyMeyChan 6

Monday 22 November 2010 15:16

Lolz. I like this FML :D *Likes* Whenever I poke stuff.. I always say "Poooooooooke" In a silly voice.. So I don't see anything wrong with that.. Also! *Pokes everybody who's commented so far* Needed 100 Pokes for the poke war going on. :D Started yesterday.. Ends on Wednesday.. Poke 100 People and win :D!