Money: Today, I was walking to school. When I was about halfway there,...

By Anonymous - 30/01/2010 13:16 - United States

Today, I was walking to school. When I was about halfway there, someone put a gun to the back of my head and told me to give him all my money. As I slowly turned around, I saw it was my dad putting a banana to my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 428

You deserved it 5 579

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/10/2011 02:01 - United States

Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 327

You deserved it 6 843

By Richocet - 18/05/2009 00:35 - Canada

Today, I was walking home from piano lessons when I saw my dad on a bike, so I shouted after him. He turned his head around and then ran into a tree. It wasn't my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 165

You deserved it 36 333

Why so serious?

By DwarfFrog - 18/06/2012 11:38 - United States

Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 443

You deserved it 3 390

By Anonymous - 30/08/2015 15:44 - United States

Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 581

You deserved it 2 558

By Anonymous - 25/11/2014 20:15 - United States

Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 945

You deserved it 3 136

By Operation Yewtree here I come - 26/09/2014 20:40 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 368

You deserved it 4 215

Headshot

By suhleedah18 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was working on my computer when my dad walks in, pointing his finger at me like a gun. Before I could even ask, it turns out he was aiming a rubber band at me. The doctor says I'll be able to take off my eyepatch in a couple of days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 358

You deserved it 2 745

By aloneinaz - 15/01/2017 20:00

Today, while walking downstairs to go to work, I turned the corner and my boyfriend pulled a gun on me. Apparently, he forgot I was there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 733

You deserved it 844

By Elisa_LmR - 03/01/2014 23:28 - France

Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 548

You deserved it 8 630

By psychic parents, how do they work? :( - 31/07/2013 22:49 - United States - Effingham

Today, I went to my dad, hoping to confess something to him. He quickly said that if I'd got my girlfriend pregnant, he'd kill me. That's exactly what happened. I had to make up a lie instead about stealing $50 from his wallet once as a kid, which he then demanded I pay back in full. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 700

You deserved it 47 503

missxmelon 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 20:04

lol at least you weren't actually mugged!

AxCxDxDx 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 20:05

Would you have been more freaked out if it was someone you didn't know holding a banana to your head?

Comments

missxmelon 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 20:04

lol at least you weren't actually mugged!

geovanni 9

Saturday 30 January 2010 20:10

how is this an fml?

UziTopete 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 20:19

cuz he literally thought he was gonna die he probly cried and maybe peed a little

Soybean254 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 20:20

HAHA your dad is fucken awesome!

Soybean254 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 20:22

should have said my bitch of a dad is greedy and won't give me an allowance and how could you tell it was his voice

Shystai 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 20:23

Look on the brightside. He isn't gay..

NUMBER23LEBRON 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 20:30

fyl

failirl 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 20:36

it isn't, it is more of an MLIA

cheerleader58965 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 20:45

ok why do u hav a pic of yourself that's screams ATTENTION! that's an fml all by itself

Reyo 2

Saturday 30 January 2010 21:16

Would you rathor it have been a REAL mugger holding a REAL gun?

nik9166 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 21:53

I belive he was, bannas are serious

Danielt104 6

Saturday 30 January 2010 21:59

Lol, your dad is awesome! that would scare the crap out of me though, Fyl

ElMarkino 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 22:23

i agree, your dad is awesome

sammiexrawrs 0

Sunday 31 January 2010 0:33

that's not even cool, I've had that done to me, but it was an actual gun.

smirfluv92 0

Sunday 31 January 2010 1:24

hell yeah!!! I like your dad. and maybe he was trying to teach you to be more aware of your suroundings.

Shystai 0

Sunday 31 January 2010 3:03

36... Whom are you talking about?

DonkeyDelight 0

Sunday 31 January 2010 3:41

I'd much rather it be my dad with a banana than a dude with an actual gun.

lolitsmadi 0

Sunday 31 January 2010 4:16

MelMel1997 0

Sunday 31 January 2010 5:36

Wow!!!!! My dad is such a drunk dumb ass!!! I came home from school one time with my friends and he was half naked!!!!! only had a towel on!!!!

Hot_Gurl4556 0

Sunday 31 January 2010 5:48

cuz the person was like omfg I'm gettin mugged

Zills 0

Sunday 31 January 2010 6:48

sounds like a mlia I'd be relieved too op

maa_rico 4

Sunday 31 January 2010 6:53

so you did not recognize your dad's voice?

AznWaffle8 0

Sunday 31 January 2010 7:21

Agreed w/ 31, this is an MLIA. I would've, on reflex, spun around and snatched the banana. It would've smushed all over my hands.

coco0123 0

Sunday 31 January 2010 7:40

maybie ur dads ah MONkEY !

Poke_Her_Face_fml 0

Sunday 31 January 2010 7:47

haha #87! YDI for living in the ghetto.

DEATHxxPROOF 0

Sunday 31 January 2010 18:32

agreed.

AVainAttempt 0

Sunday 31 January 2010 20:40

#58 ftw!

mongoosepanda 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 1:30

your dad is a G!

hiwopper 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 8:38

Ahahah ****

AxCxDxDx 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 20:05

Would you have been more freaked out if it was someone you didn't know holding a banana to your head?

seabrook 7

Saturday 30 January 2010 20:07

usually a snickers lol

mack4225 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 21:26

Ha I was gonna say that.

Caayouteepie 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 20:07

How is this an fml at all? So what, your dad put a banana to your head...

RabenSchwartz 3

Saturday 30 January 2010 20:08

it should be on mlia not fml

AxCxDxDx 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 20:09

Maybe they REALLY don't like bananas!

Caayouteepie 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 20:16

Hahah that would sound better though. Today, I was walking down the street when my dad snuck up behind me and poked me with a banana. MLIA

Shystai 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 20:32

Because she was probably scared to death? Therefore felt horrible, making it a FML.

The_Norwegian 2

Monday 1 February 2010 4:08

Well maybe it was his "banana"?

animaniatico 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 20:07

and this is a FML how? your life is not '******' give me a break ㄱㄱ

MadeOfAwesome 1

Saturday 30 January 2010 20:39

That's terrifying, that's what makes it an FML. If you what you thought a gun was pressed to head, you wouldn't be scared at all? Whatever.

rockediny 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 21:50

doesn't mean his life is ******, he'll get over it in hours.

8trickster8 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 22:56

From the FAQ: "It’s a collection of everyday anecdotes and stories likely to happen to anyone and everyone, sent to us exclusively by our users, which we then publish on the site. This is a space where you can let it all out and unwind by sharing the little things that screw with your day, and maybe realize that you are not alone in experiencing day to day crap." "LITTLE THINGS THAT SCREW WITH YOUR DAY," Which describes the post