Money: Today, I was walking to school. When I was about halfway there,...

By Anonymous - 30/01/2010 13:16 - United States

Today, I was walking to school. When I was about halfway there, someone put a gun to the back of my head and told me to give him all my money. As I slowly turned around, I saw it was my dad putting a banana to my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 419

You deserved it 5 575

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/10/2011 02:01 - United States

Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 321

You deserved it 6 836

By Richocet - 18/05/2009 00:35 - Canada

Today, I was walking home from piano lessons when I saw my dad on a bike, so I shouted after him. He turned his head around and then ran into a tree. It wasn't my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 163

You deserved it 36 321

Why so serious?

By DwarfFrog - 18/06/2012 11:38 - United States

Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 435

You deserved it 3 384

By Anonymous - 30/08/2015 15:44 - United States

Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 558

You deserved it 2 552

By Anonymous - 25/11/2014 20:15 - United States

Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 930

You deserved it 3 126

By Operation Yewtree here I come - 26/09/2014 20:40 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 359

You deserved it 4 211

By suhleedah18 - 19/12/2011 05:03 - United States

Today, I was working on the computer when my dad walks in, pointing his finger at me like a gun. Before I could even ask, it turns out he was aiming a rubber band at me. The doctor says I'll be able to take off my eye patch in a couple of days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 838

You deserved it 2 647

By aloneinaz - 15/01/2017 20:00

Today, while walking downstairs to go to work, I turned the corner and my boyfriend pulled a gun on me. Apparently, he forgot I was there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 724

You deserved it 839

By Elisa_LmR - 03/01/2014 23:28 - France

Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 543

You deserved it 8 627

By psychic parents, how do they work? :( - 31/07/2013 22:49 - United States - Effingham

Today, I went to my dad, hoping to confess something to him. He quickly said that if I'd got my girlfriend pregnant, he'd kill me. That's exactly what happened. I had to make up a lie instead about stealing $50 from his wallet once as a kid, which he then demanded I pay back in full. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 697

You deserved it 47 488

missxmelon 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 20:04

lol at least you weren't actually mugged!

AxCxDxDx 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 20:05

Would you have been more freaked out if it was someone you didn't know holding a banana to your head?

Comments

Sonalis 9

Sunday 31 January 2010 1:34

lol. more like MLIA

fr33convict 0

Sunday 31 January 2010 1:38

I see my dad doing this. I better watch my back lol

masri_fml 0

Sunday 31 January 2010 1:41

and.... did he then pull down ur pants???? cmon man lighten up its funny :P

withered 30

Sunday 31 January 2010 1:41

Hahahaha xD Good one xD

Sophia93 0

Sunday 31 January 2010 2:16

This made me laugh :D

IamDreamingAbout 0

Sunday 31 January 2010 2:37

So your dad walked halfway to your school with a banana, just to poke you with it and freak you out?? lol he worked way too hard on that.

Bluestribute 0

Sunday 31 January 2010 2:44

So you'd rather get mugged at gun point then banana point? Makes sense to me!

benhamean 0

Sunday 31 January 2010 3:18

that's funny as hell!

Trixies100 0

Sunday 31 January 2010 3:23

hahaha I like bananas

justmyluck1212 0

Sunday 31 January 2010 3:26

Omg ur dad frikkin rocks. But if you were ever to get mugged, act likw you don't speak english

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I agree, your life sucks 32 331

You deserved it 2 602

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Same thing different taste

Why so serious?

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