Money: Today, I was walking to school. When I was about halfway there,...

By Anonymous - 30/01/2010 13:16 - United States

Today, I was walking to school. When I was about halfway there, someone put a gun to the back of my head and told me to give him all my money. As I slowly turned around, I saw it was my dad putting a banana to my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 419

You deserved it 5 575

May Day: Lily of the Valley and Misunderstandings
When lilies of the valley bring good luck... or not! Discover the stories behind every little bell! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/10/2011 02:01 - United States

Today, as I was walking home from school with my guy friends, my dad pulled up by the sidewalk, offered me a handful of dollar bills and said, "Get in, baby." Only after we drove away and he started laughing did I realize I'll probably never hear the end of this at school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 321

You deserved it 6 836

By Richocet - 18/05/2009 00:35 - Canada

Today, I was walking home from piano lessons when I saw my dad on a bike, so I shouted after him. He turned his head around and then ran into a tree. It wasn't my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 163

You deserved it 36 321

Why so serious?

By DwarfFrog - 18/06/2012 11:38 - United States

Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 435

You deserved it 3 384

By Anonymous - 30/08/2015 15:44 - United States

Today, while I was pulling weeds, my dad thought it would be absolutely hilarious to yell "Hey, son!" then unload his gun at me when I turned around. After I'd screamed like a bitch and pissed myself, he broke down into hysterical laughter and said he'd loaded the gun with blanks. Fuck you, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 558

You deserved it 2 552

By Anonymous - 25/11/2014 20:15 - United States

Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 930

You deserved it 3 126

By Operation Yewtree here I come - 26/09/2014 20:40 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 359

You deserved it 4 211

By suhleedah18 - 19/12/2011 05:03 - United States

Today, I was working on the computer when my dad walks in, pointing his finger at me like a gun. Before I could even ask, it turns out he was aiming a rubber band at me. The doctor says I'll be able to take off my eye patch in a couple of days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 838

You deserved it 2 647

By aloneinaz - 15/01/2017 20:00

Today, while walking downstairs to go to work, I turned the corner and my boyfriend pulled a gun on me. Apparently, he forgot I was there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 724

You deserved it 839

By Elisa_LmR - 03/01/2014 23:28 - France

Today, like every other day for many years, I have a phobia of bananas. This evening, the phobia came to a head when I had a nightmare in which I was stabbed to death by a gang of walking bananas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 543

You deserved it 8 627

By psychic parents, how do they work? :( - 31/07/2013 22:49 - United States - Effingham

Today, I went to my dad, hoping to confess something to him. He quickly said that if I'd got my girlfriend pregnant, he'd kill me. That's exactly what happened. I had to make up a lie instead about stealing $50 from his wallet once as a kid, which he then demanded I pay back in full. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 697

You deserved it 47 488

missxmelon 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 20:04

lol at least you weren't actually mugged!

AxCxDxDx 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 20:05

Would you have been more freaked out if it was someone you didn't know holding a banana to your head?

Comments

CHEESYBIGMAC 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 20:42

HA! your dad is AWESOME!!!!!

kh2soldier 1

Saturday 30 January 2010 20:49

if u knew how to defend yourself in that situation..... ur dad wouldn't do dat no more dude

smokey13bk 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 20:49

hahahaha funny as fack 10 out of 10

neko_ceko 3

Saturday 30 January 2010 20:50

You go to school on saturdays? That's a FML.

iheartjustinsane 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 23:54

Exactly what I was thinking!

wtfsauce 0

Saturday 30 January 2010 20:52

get the **** over yourself. if this is what makes you think your life sucks, you're a retard. enjoy your cushy life kid. at last you weren't actually mugged.