Today, I was walking to bed in fancy panties and a tight black tank top. My husband exclaimed, "This is the best part about being a grown up!" He was talking about the ice cream he was eating in bed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home early from work and discovered my husband wearing a black babydoll nightdress, black stockings and high heels... He says it helps him to relax. FML
Today, I was with my boyfriend. He got up, shut the blinds and turned around to say, "I don't usually shut the blinds, but no one can see this." Assuming we were going to have sex, I took my pants off. He asked me what I was doing, then sat down to eat an entire tub of ice cream. FML
Today, after giving my kids a lengthy bedtime lecture about the merits of being responsible, I thought about all the chores I had left to do, promptly ate ice cream in the shower, and went to bed. FML
Today, I left the house for a while and when I came back my husband was wearing my lacy lingerie. He looks better in it than I do. FML
Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of Doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the Doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML
Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. She ended up pushing me onto the bed, and as I lay there, expecting to be pleasured, she pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas and dressed me in them. FML
Today, when my husband got home from work, I was standing in the kitchen, wearing nothing but stilletos. He asked me to make him hot chocolate. FML
Today, I put on a lacy dress with nothing underneath and walked nonchalantly into the living room. My husband took one look at me, let out a heavy sigh and said, "Right now?" FML
Today, I got dressed up in lingerie for my boyfriend. He looked at me, said, "Nice," then went back to watching TV and drinking beer. FML
Today, I took a bath and dressed in a skimpy lingerie. I sat on the couch for an hour and a half before giving up and putting on my boyfriend's old t shirt. It was then that he decided to comment. On the t shirt I was wearing. FML
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Top comments
bcoolplz 1
i love ice cream too
Doortje 30
Just say you have something else for him to eat.
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Comments (129)
nomnommed 1
you should have asked for some of his ice cream and oops! dropped it on him so you'd have to lick it off. much better than getting mad... really... keep it fun rather than being a bitch
ohmek 0
See now that's a great idea.
some1azn 0
Oh he's getting something sweet tonight. And he brought ice-cream too!
thatsparksguy 0
The Asian kid wasn't overweight.
jbtheone_fml 5
Probably disgusted him wearing a tight tank top with your big fat muffin top.
willsohn 0
better lay down some rules before the obesity sets in
creamcheese724 0
they're all skinnier than most kids nowadays. we need a pe class that teaches the truffle shuffle
KrustyMarbles 1
Man's got his priorities straight
TCoop1515 0
dayumm, most of been some good ice cream!
ulicksam 0
Everything doesn't have to be about you.
Quyzl 0
Ice cream doesn't bitch for no reason or ask you trapped questions.