Intimacy: Today, I was walking to bed in fancy panties and a tight black...

By Anonymous - 24/01/2011 19:43 - United States

Today, I was walking to bed in fancy panties and a tight black tank top. My husband exclaimed, "This is the best part about being a grown up!" He was talking about the ice cream he was eating in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 710

You deserved it 4 836

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Same thing different taste

By a268 - 02/02/2009 09:29 - United Kingdom

Today, I came home early from work and discovered my husband wearing a black babydoll nightdress, black stockings and high heels... He says it helps him to relax. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 347

You deserved it 3 339

Hidden secret

By anonymous - 01/10/2016 09:00 - Australia - Tennyson

Today, I was with my boyfriend. He got up, shut the blinds and turned around to say, "I don't usually shut the blinds, but no one can see this." Assuming we were going to have sex, I took my pants off. He asked me what I was doing, then sat down to eat an entire tub of ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 297

You deserved it 2 147

By sirswank - 10/08/2017 13:00

Today, after giving my kids a lengthy bedtime lecture about the merits of being responsible, I thought about all the chores I had left to do, promptly ate ice cream in the shower, and went to bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 020

You deserved it 1 797

By Tonya - 28/06/2009 03:01 - United States

Today, I left the house for a while and when I came back my husband was wearing my lacy lingerie. He looks better in it than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 246

You deserved it 7 782

By Anonymous - 27/06/2014 23:50 - United States - Parker

Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 932

You deserved it 7 677

By Anonymous - 30/04/2013 18:24 - United States - Pompton Plains

Today, I got home from work and found my girlfriend waiting for me in some skimpy lingerie. She ended up pushing me onto the bed, and as I lay there, expecting to be pleasured, she pulled out a pair of adult-sized footsie pajamas and dressed me in them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 968

You deserved it 8 441

By sissica - 11/02/2009 23:52 - United States

Today, when my husband got home from work, I was standing in the kitchen, wearing nothing but stilletos. He asked me to make him hot chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 196

You deserved it 6 630

By Anonymous - 03/01/2011 08:42 - United States

Today, I put on a lacy dress with nothing underneath and walked nonchalantly into the living room. My husband took one look at me, let out a heavy sigh and said, "Right now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 770

You deserved it 5 061

Turn it off

By Anonymous - 26/03/2022 06:00

Today, I got dressed up in lingerie for my boyfriend. He looked at me, said, "Nice," then went back to watching TV and drinking beer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 160

You deserved it 171

The art of seduction

By Anonymous - 26/10/2020 19:58

Today, I took a bath and dressed in a skimpy lingerie. I sat on the couch for an hour and a half before giving up and putting on my boyfriend's old t shirt. It was then that he decided to comment. On the t shirt I was wearing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 452

You deserved it 227

bcoolplz 1

Monday 24 January 2011 22:31

i love ice cream too

Doortje 29

Monday 24 January 2011 22:40

Just say you have something else for him to eat.

Comments

bcoolplz 1

Monday 24 January 2011 22:31

i love ice cream too

UnanomousGurl 0

Tuesday 25 January 2011 2:34

Lol those are the 2 best things! now how about u both mix icecream with your creams xD enjoy!

USAF_girl 3

Tuesday 25 January 2011 2:52

maybe you're just not hot! mmmmm ice cream......

razeleet 0

Tuesday 25 January 2011 4:12

I'd pick ice cream over sex, who wouldn't? Who is with me?

breena25 0

Tuesday 25 January 2011 4:34

agreed with 55 :)

Sydknee 8

Tuesday 25 January 2011 5:28

Damn you lucky adults!

lmBrown 0

Tuesday 25 January 2011 6:13

cuz 55 never had sex in his life he don't know how good it feels

ehaile4 0

Tuesday 25 January 2011 15:33

55 agree Dude low calories tho haha

TheOptimist 0

Wednesday 26 January 2011 9:11

74 - I pity stupid people like you.

Blackmail111 9

Monday 24 January 2011 22:33

it is eating sweets in bed rocks

truehitman2010 0

Monday 24 January 2011 22:33

it is the best part

xxBrokenHeartxx 0

Tuesday 25 January 2011 7:20

NOOOOOOO

TheOptimist 0

Wednesday 26 January 2011 9:14

Ice cream cake is better. Especially the Dairy Queen kind.

Garytt 0

Monday 24 January 2011 22:33

Smear the ice cream all over your body

OtherHighlander 0

Monday 24 January 2011 23:50

I second that motion.

SulfurPlague 0

Tuesday 25 January 2011 14:26

win avatar.

cupcakemann95 7

Monday 16 July 2012 1:57

Then you don't let him leave the room until he eats it all

Quasar55_fml 18

Monday 24 January 2011 22:34

Haha he's definitely right ! When I grow older, I want to eat ice cream in bed mom !

YoungMoney1492 0

Monday 24 January 2011 22:36

maybe he was thinkin ice cream + you = a good very good time!!!!!!!! duh

nathan5 0

Monday 24 January 2011 22:37

Mans got a point, ice cream and sex-can you beat it?

rgermain 0

Tuesday 25 January 2011 0:26

It'll be a little awkward, but he could.

Proud_vegetarian 0

Tuesday 25 January 2011 6:35

Maybe cake, ice cream and sex?

ZeeBest86 6

Tuesday 25 January 2011 7:22

32-lmao!!!! good one

BlehMcBleh 0

Tuesday 25 January 2011 10:49

Cake, Ice cream, Sex, and a midget. Who doesn't love midgets?

creamcheese724 0

Tuesday 25 January 2011 11:37

midgets are the best

TheOptimist 0

Wednesday 26 January 2011 9:19

Sports. Or video games. If he's watching/doing either, he wins.

Doortje 29

Monday 24 January 2011 22:40

Just say you have something else for him to eat.

nathan5 0

Monday 24 January 2011 22:48

She has pizza too?!?!

Shutuptroll 0

Tuesday 25 January 2011 6:58

You don't need a dirty mind to get it. You're just ******* retarded.

JManHobbs 0

Tuesday 25 January 2011 10:33

#80 +1

saleha97 4

Monday 24 January 2011 22:43

lmfao, he's right :)

Becket_nitefire 0

Monday 24 January 2011 22:53

op should have lick lick licked him like a lollypop.

TheOmen46 1

Tuesday 25 January 2011 4:43

he makes her wanna lick him like a wrapper :)

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Poopoo peepee Gross Miscellaneous Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Relatable Work Cars You're fired Health Covid Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Sex Roommate Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, my girlfriend went on a date with her mechanic. She said it was to get discounts when she goes in for maintenance. Not only does she not see a problem with it, but she's probably getting discounts on other services too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 740

You deserved it 5 265

Today, I was in an elevator with my girlfriend when it suddenly stopped. Thinking of being spontaneous like in all the movies, I propped her up on the railings and started getting passionate. That's when the emergency phone rang. And I discovered there was a security camera. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 331

You deserved it 41 020

The Top

Today, I finally finished making my daughter's wedding cake. When I checked on it later, I found a large slice had been cut out. I soon found out that my husband had instagrammed himself eating it, with the caption "#guiltypleasures". FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 956

You deserved it 4 543

Today, after my housemate handed in his notice to vacate without telling me beforehand, I had few days whilst working to make a decision to stay or vacate. In a panic, I chose vacate. On my day off I sat down with my finances and discovered I can't afford elsewhere. I asked to stay, my landlord put up rent by 50%. I might now become homeless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 979

You deserved it 251

Today, I found a New Year's surprise: a cockroach in my kitchen drawers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 767

You deserved it 134

Today, I changed the date of my birthday to today on Facebook to see how many people actually know my birthday. My mom wished me a happy birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 669

You deserved it 15 761

Today, while dog sitting, the dog peed on the carpet. There was a bottle of cleaning spray on the counter so I sprayed the spot. Turns out that spray was Clorox Bleach. Now their carpet is bright orange. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 325

You deserved it 27 381

Today, I found out that my mom and dad got a divorce. They didn't tell me, they just changed their relationship status on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 702

You deserved it 3 584

Same thing different taste

Hidden secret

Turn it off

The art of seduction

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