Today, I was walking downtown when a bum approached me for some change. I planned to give a couple dollars but after pulling out my wallet exposing my cash, the bum beat me unconscious. The bum is a 5'0" tall woman; I'm a 6'2" male out $200. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was walking home, when I saw a homeless man trying to tear the wallet out of another guy's hand. I can't stand bums, so I smacked him across the jaw. That's when the other one kneed me in the balls and made off with my wallet as well. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a man behind me tapped me on the shoulder. He gave a $5 bill and said that he thought I had dropped it. Not having the integrity to turn him down, I took it. I spent the next 20 minutes being chased by a crazy hobo who claimed that it was his. FML
Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a little old lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML
Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? Go on then." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML
Today, I got mugged. I also got an extra kick in the face for not having money in my wallet. FML
Today, I was walking to the gym when the woman in front of me dropped some cash. I picked it up and tried to get her attention. She saw the money and thought I was trying to pay her to sleep with me. FML
Today, I saw a homeless woman and a young man wrapped in a blanket so I went to give them a fiver. Turns out the woman was just helping calm her autistic son by wrapping him up, and not homeless at all. She kicked me in the balls and took the money anyway while I was on the ground. FML
Today, I picked up a penny off the street for good luck on my job interview. A few seconds later, a hobo beat me up, took my wallet, and ran off. The whole ordeal made me late for the interview. So much for good luck. FML
Today, while I was walking downtown a homeless person asked me for a dollar. I thought it would be funny to wave the dollar in his face and taunt him. I guess he thought it would be funny to stab me in the leg with a pencil. FML
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Top comments
MonkeySpeaks 4
Honestly, have you not learned to never take out your wallet or show how much cash you have on the streets? Thats just basic.
Bubs_fml 0
Gotta watch out for that Falcon Punch. Even homeless women can do it.
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Comments (213)
TalkCuntyToMe 0
you're not very tall for a guy.
Bear_Sandwich 0
Woooow that is reeeallly crappy.
jesseheath 0
pussy.
_abcdeF 0
i say, karma's a BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITCH. next thing you know, it'll be the hobo lady on here saying FML.
cwood1127 0
reading this reminded me of my 9th grade latin teacher...he was like 6'5 and was prolly the biggest nerd ever
awesomo3000 0
fake. it is rare for someone to be knocked unconcious in a fight without having some sort of brain damage or damage that would require intensive care. this isnt the movies. FAKE
nuberific 4
Give this guy a break and stop knocking his masculinity. He obviously got sucker punched.
ellebell 0
a hungry woman is capable of anything...trust me
tigerpussyloveme 0
Here's a question. You got mugged by a bum. And were knocked unconcious. Which I can only assume led to some kind of concussion. And your first thought was to come on FmyLife.com and tell it to the world. Not go to the police. Your story is a lie. And your a horrible liar.
Vermelle 0
For all the comments stating that the poster is pathetic for being beaten up by a 5'0" woman: I'm 5'0" and a green belt in karate. I have no issues when taking on a guy twice my height. It just means I have an easier time punching them in the balls, if the situation requires that. For the comments stating that you cannot be knocked out without needing intensive care: It is very possible, though I doubt he would be out for long. He'd have some bruising to the brain, but nothing permanent.