Today, my incredibly self-conscious girlfriend decided to get over her fears and let me see her in her underwear. She did a short strip tease, crawled on top of me, and asked what I thought. I couldn't think of anything to say besides, "Your bra and panties don't match." FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my girlfriend, who is very self conscious about her body, finally decided to have sex with me. She told me to wait a few minutes, so I did. I stripped and turned around to find her in a one-piece swimsuit, with a hole cut out of the crotch. FML
Today, as my girlfriend and I were making out, I slowly took my clothes off and revealed my body to her for the first time. She looked, smiled, and said reassuringly, "Aww, don't worry. I know how it's supposed to look." FML
Today, I took my clothes off in front of my girlfriend for the first time. She made a weird face for a moment, then burst into laughter. She couldn't stop laughing, no matter how hard she tried. FML
Today, I decided to dress up sexy for my boyfriend. I put on cute undies and a corset because they made the most of my assets. The first thing my boyfriend said was, "The colours don't match." FML
Today, I went to my girlfriend's and she was wearing some sexy lingerie. After making out passionately for 10 minutes, I started to undress myself, only to have her stop me, confessed that she still wasn't sexually attracted to me. FML
Today, my girlfriend dared me to put on her bra and panties and give her a lap dance. Feeling spontaneous, I decided to do it. Just as I was getting really into it, she told me I was on webcam for all her friends. Apparently it was a contest of who had their boyfriend the most whipped. She won. FML
Today, after sex with my girlfriend, I thought it would be sexy to wear her underwear until we saw each other again. I found a pair in her bathroom, but they definitely weren't her sexy ones. Her mom walked in on me to collect the laundry and screeched, "What are you doing with my panties!" FML
Today, my boyfriend decided to perform a strip tease for me. As he was stripping out of his clothes, he took his shirt and then pants off first. He was wearing zebra striped knee high socks and underwear. I burst out laughing. He left. FML
Today, my girlfriend wanted to try having sex despite her serious body image issues. Unfortunately, I couldn't get it up due to how utterly terrified she looked. Now no matter what I say, she thinks it's all because her body is hideous. FML
Today, my girlfriend took off my pants for the first time. She was more impressed by the pattern on my boxers than by my cock. FML
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Top comments
kbaker90 0
Two things: 1. Poor girl. No wonder she's self-conscious. 2. OP, your man card, please. *holds out hand*
lazerdude07 0
what a jerk, if you gave her some compliments she might have higher confidence
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Comments (322)
joshhhhdudeyeah 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
did her butt look big?
collegegirl87 0
lol he was prbly too shocked
DeafChef 0
wow, seriously?
TheWhiteDemon 0
well if she werent wearing a bra or panties theyre pretty matching to me
kxdottt 0
155 grammar = life
Maddiiiex 1
wow, i hope she dumps your stupid ass.
msuniversforevr 0
dang! shoulda had a V8!
maddymxo 0
I'm just as curious
Evafml123 0
always make a girl feel good! otherwise youre not getting laid.
kxdottt 0
Well then buy her some that match ;) DUH
rigorouswolf 0
yeah but maybe he was just dumbfounded or something
PanteraRules 0
If that's all you could think of, you didn't deserve the show
ellielovesyuh 0
fail. u shoulda said that she looked hot! d:
InfiltratedMind 0
judging by his name, he has ocd and when her bras and panties didn't match he was instinctively bothered by it
BluSkyNoise 0
smh... -L-
collegegirl87 0
ohhh I didn't notice that! way to go 23! :)
the_flirtt 0
and then u say so that's y u need to take them off :)
afdude87 6
yeah but 23 he didn't have to say anything about it. being in the military, I have to hold my tongue all the time
austinninja1700 0
#40 win
farquhar 0
no kidding. what an ass you are, op.
CrimsonWolf1294 0
um. that's your cue to just start making out with her. ESPECIALLY when you're speechless. ydi
zhaoyunus 0
40 wins.
oakleyguy 0
Just long as the clothes are off right? why do they have to match
Peacemaker9 7
holy shit I have no clue how to respond to this....man op what a fail....no that's beyond fail!!!!!
bt2breakskn 0
fail man.
xSummerRosaleex 1
I hate when my bra and panties don't match.. :P
GrammerNazi1000 8
I don't get it. What are panites?
Peacemaker9 7
u serious?^^^
oakleyguy 0
grammer there like ski masks you put over your head.
MyNameIsInvictus 0
Panite/pAn-ight 1. n.- a follower of the pancake clan, commonly known as the PAN gang
Urface421 0
You deserved it for pressuring her into showing you her underwear. Douche bag. I feel sorry for her.
fishpho 0
I'm bet that turned her on!
fishpho 0
I'm bet that turned her on!
fishpho 0
I'm bet that turned her on!
XFlyingxPiranhaX 0
thank you, fishpho. I get it. I was wondering also what panites are..
pooponyuou 0
shouldve had a twix!
fuxkyoursxene 0
lmao I agree
BoyFromTheFuture 0
twix win....haha
fuxkyoursxene 0
seriously op? I'm a very self conscious girl, I woulda smacked you and dumped your ass right there. that's terrible. I'm sure you made her feel GREAT. dumbass
iownyou676 0
today I got over my fear and let my boyfriend see me in my underwear. all he said was "your bra and panties don't match" FML.
ucofresh 4
Seriously grammer? Ever hear of a life? You should probably start looking for yours again. Just sayin!
shanie123 10
what guy actually cares about matching bra and panties
UnderageDrinker1 0
yea. I just want them off.
JPcrazysquirrel3 0
btw, "GrammerNazi..." I do believe that "grammer" is spelled "grammar"! If you like grammar so much(which you learn in English), I highly suggest going back to English class and learn some spelling. After all, spelling comes before grammar. That's at least the way we were taught when we were little.
Gerson123 0
that's for your gf do put on FML...
ChesterJester11 0
at least you didn't say something like, "your boobs are oddly shaped"
twinny_sc 13
Need a moment? Chew it over with twix!
404error_fml 0
ughhh you guys, grammernazi has the right idea here. he asked what panites were, not panties. because in the fml, it's spelled wrong. :P haha, sorry, that wad bothering me. :) anyway, OP- not FYL, FYgf'sL... xP
404error_fml 0
was*
HiveMindFury 15
114: My impression is that he didn't pressure her into it, he said that she "decided to get over her fears and let me see her in her underwear." Of course, he could have pressured her into it but not said that in the FML, and if he did that then yeah, he totally deserves it and he is a douche. But hopefully he didn't.
pizzasammy 0
sounds like a **** to me...
InfiltratedMind 0
139 you need to lighten up. seriously that's a little too far
Palmless 0
What's panites?
Master__Chief 0
#214, panites are the people who live in the city of pantopia, in the glorious region of panopolis, and who serve and worship the god pan, that word can also be used to describe residents and pantropolis, pan city, new pan, and panston silly goose, this is elementary education
pink_mx_braap 0
I can't stop laughing...
pink_mx_braap 0
I agree 212....139 if you're that worried about your body start working out...or are you one of those b****es who has a nice body and are just screaming for attention? I know quite a few skanks who say oh I don't think I look that nice and then they f**k pretty much every guy at that party...yep maybe you're one of those.
himmellicht 0
he could be using OCD as an excuse
lildrummerboy47 0
HA!
XslusheeX 0
u wuld.
time4coffee 3
dick. I bet you'll never see her naked
ibanez370 0
#1- im from the bay!! i wonder if its the same "bay"?
TGOBman 0
win
_football4life_ 0
good shit lol
Chocolate_Chunk 2
#19, maybe she diddn't
candycanebrain 0
dumbass.
whitetiger13131 26
#9 Yes! thank you!
lazerdude07 0
what a jerk, if you gave her some compliments she might have higher confidence
j5p332 6
exactly
Harlson13 0
LMAO!!! ahhahahahahaha funniest shit ever!!!
Bloodyskull 13
Maybe he froze because he was surprised and didn't know what to sya?
QwertyMcNugget 0
SMH. Fail.
Sanchezzz 0
WTF is SMH?
justsayfuck 5
Smash My Hips.
sourgirl101 28
Smack my hinny
illmatic2 16
Super midget horn
Damiclius 0
seriously my homie? you are all idiots :P
TexanBar 3
Maybe u have no sense of humor
paralyzingsilenc 0
56 it's shaking my head
AjLover 0
shaking my head
italianboy_fml 0
62 u r hot
xFIRMbutGENTLEx 0
Wow I had no idea this could mean so many different things :P I know it as shaking my head. lol.
taylorlynn1125 1
It's Scratching my head. You're the idiot.
megafreefaller 0
wow ... youre sexy :D
reggie77 0
what a loser!
kbaker90 0
Two things: 1. Poor girl. No wonder she's self-conscious. 2. OP, your man card, please. *holds out hand*
afdude87 6
yeah, man card revoked. should have said shes sexy or something, now i hope you never get another chance
White_Fury 0
32 you are allowed to take his man card. 8 is a chick, and they canny hold a man card. Just not possible!
lickmyjock 0
you dun goofed!
xtfauthorx 0
consequences will never be the same
7611masari 0
I have one. It's pink, I got it from a bunch of my guy friends because I'm apparently more of a man than they are. I treasure it always :D
maddy14 0
ways OP?
kbaker90 0
Two things: 1. Poor girl. No wonder she's self-conscious. 2. OP, your man card, please. *holds out hand*
bleigh 0
lol @ this totally agree!
CitrusGirl 0
agreed!
RuggerPip 0
11 you don't need his man card you have your own
Spastastic 6
If you're trying to imply that she looks like a man, you're way off base... she really doesn't. I can't think of anything else that could mean.
kbaker90 0
Thanks 181 : )
justsayfuck 5
Well at least you admit that was stupid, and honestly it really wasn't so bad. I hope you still made it up to her :)
Ambi_lee 0
Wow. Maybe your the one that makes her self conscious? Try complimenting her next time ;)
andiedandie 0
Sooo I'm thinking she'll never do that again.
hatchet765 0
hahah yeh, ur right, probably not. hah
time4coffee 3
Sounds like he lost out for good
CovertMilitance 0
What a ****