Today, I was walking downtown when a bum approached me for some change. I planned to give a couple dollars but after pulling out my wallet exposing my cash, the bum beat me unconscious. The bum is a 5'0" tall woman; I'm a 6'2" male out $200. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was walking home, when I saw a homeless man trying to tear the wallet out of another guy's hand. I can't stand bums, so I smacked him across the jaw. That's when the other one kneed me in the balls and made off with my wallet as well. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a man behind me tapped me on the shoulder. He gave a $5 bill and said that he thought I had dropped it. Not having the integrity to turn him down, I took it. I spent the next 20 minutes being chased by a crazy hobo who claimed that it was his. FML
Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a little old lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML
Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? Go on then." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML
Today, I got mugged. I also got an extra kick in the face for not having money in my wallet. FML
Today, I was walking to the gym when the woman in front of me dropped some cash. I picked it up and tried to get her attention. She saw the money and thought I was trying to pay her to sleep with me. FML
Today, I saw a homeless woman and a young man wrapped in a blanket so I went to give them a fiver. Turns out the woman was just helping calm her autistic son by wrapping him up, and not homeless at all. She kicked me in the balls and took the money anyway while I was on the ground. FML
Today, I picked up a penny off the street for good luck on my job interview. A few seconds later, a hobo beat me up, took my wallet, and ran off. The whole ordeal made me late for the interview. So much for good luck. FML
Today, while I was walking downtown a homeless person asked me for a dollar. I thought it would be funny to wave the dollar in his face and taunt him. I guess he thought it would be funny to stab me in the leg with a pencil. FML
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Top comments
MonkeySpeaks 4
Honestly, have you not learned to never take out your wallet or show how much cash you have on the streets? Thats just basic.
Bubs_fml 0
Gotta watch out for that Falcon Punch. Even homeless women can do it.
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Comments (213)
save_me_08 0
Are you sure it was a woman?... Along that train of thought there are some hella manly females out there... I'm a 5' 10" female and there are some short chicks I wouldn't mess wit... lmao at #30
mathews666 0
hahahah 10 punt her peeing
madarassgyal 0
I disagree with #30 lol. Karma will bite her in the ass if it hasn't already. No one HAS to give money to a begger, and how many of us really do? She should have just taken what the kind man was giving her. But yeah, don't ever flash your money, no matter where you are!
bitchtits 0
probly a virgin too
rachel13_fml 0
Screw up.
lame16 0
..ouch..!
whynotlive 0
wellllll now you know next time dont give away money to random bums
Kimdemerchant 0
OUCH.................that freakin sucks !!!BAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAH next time when you give a bum some cash duck man!!!
roflmaonade 2
appearance is secondary. bums go hard, dude.
roflmaonade 2
#9, beat yourself with a keyboard? no need to get technical, he was obviously estimating, as the fml wouldn't be as funny if he said "i am 6'2, she is.. shorter than that."