Today, I was walking downtown when a bum approached me for some change. I planned to give a couple dollars but after pulling out my wallet exposing my cash, the bum beat me unconscious. The bum is a 5'0" tall woman; I'm a 6'2" male out $200. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was walking home, when I saw a homeless man trying to tear the wallet out of another guy's hand. I can't stand bums, so I smacked him across the jaw. That's when the other one kneed me in the balls and made off with my wallet as well. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a man behind me tapped me on the shoulder. He gave a $5 bill and said that he thought I had dropped it. Not having the integrity to turn him down, I took it. I spent the next 20 minutes being chased by a crazy hobo who claimed that it was his. FML
Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a little old lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML
Today, a man pulled me violently into an alleyway and informed me I was being mugged. Being a body-builder, I said, "Oh yeah? Go on then." He kicked my ass in a matter of seconds, stole my wallet, then farted on my bruised face. He called me a wimp. FML
Today, I got mugged. I also got an extra kick in the face for not having money in my wallet. FML
Today, I was walking to the gym when the woman in front of me dropped some cash. I picked it up and tried to get her attention. She saw the money and thought I was trying to pay her to sleep with me. FML
Today, I saw a homeless woman and a young man wrapped in a blanket so I went to give them a fiver. Turns out the woman was just helping calm her autistic son by wrapping him up, and not homeless at all. She kicked me in the balls and took the money anyway while I was on the ground. FML
Today, I picked up a penny off the street for good luck on my job interview. A few seconds later, a hobo beat me up, took my wallet, and ran off. The whole ordeal made me late for the interview. So much for good luck. FML
Today, while I was walking downtown a homeless person asked me for a dollar. I thought it would be funny to wave the dollar in his face and taunt him. I guess he thought it would be funny to stab me in the leg with a pencil. FML
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Top comments
MonkeySpeaks 4
Honestly, have you not learned to never take out your wallet or show how much cash you have on the streets? Thats just basic.
Bubs_fml 0
Gotta watch out for that Falcon Punch. Even homeless women can do it.
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Comments (213)
bradley5055 0
bums arnt ppl so dont acknowledged them or ull get beat (if she has the strength to beat u she is strong enough to work so dont give em money give ur money to united way or something they dont buy drugs with the money u give em)
Jbomb01 0
its called the GYM, use it next time
hugh_jepenis 0
Giving homeless people money might be a bad thing... They might spend it to buy more drugs... But WOW lol did anyone see you? They coulda called the police =O
save_me_08 0
I just want to say... that whole "it's not the size, it's how you use it" doesn't only pertain to one's dick size...
napalm_fml 0
This is why you never, ever give to the homeless. I've walked down the street with small change jangling in my pocket and I say no. But who the **** takes out their wallet for a ******* bum in the middle of the street?
kellster 2
Why were you carrying that much cash on you? And exposing it to a homeless person? I used to work with homeless people, and I can tell you, it's so dehumanizing that it makes people desperate. If I was a homeless person, I can't say that I wouldn't have done the same thing if I'd seen a wad of cash like that. Regardless, good for you for trying to do a good thing. I'm sorry it turned out so badly! I hope it won't make you bitter and jaded.
braFTW 0
#3 Netx time, be prepared.
Saya_nee_chan 0
BAHAHAHA. NEVER UNDERESTIMATE SHORT PPL. I'm 5'0"! We may be tiny but we're tuff >:)
MILF_HUNTER 0
HAH man up pussayyy!!! for next time: **** PUNT
TouchDown_fml 0
Well I'm hope she spent it on crack or something, I would rather have a bum, use my money for drugs so they can trip for 1-??? hours. Who ever said give them a bagel: That's not nice, that's just gonna make them thirsty :s