Today, I was walking down the street when a man stole my purse. He then opened the purse, threw up in it, and gave it back. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, while being robbed, a man heroically chased down the robber and got my purse back. He then looked at the distance between us, turned the other way and ran off with it. FML
Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML
Today, while I was walking home from work, it started to rain. Clutching my bag in one hand, I started to run so I wouldn't get too wet. I saw a man running towards me and all of a sudden he tackled me to the ground. He thought I had stolen someone's handbag. FML
Today, I got mugged. As the guys who took my purse were about to walk away, my cellphone rang in my pocket. FML
Today, I used a public bathroom. I hung my purse up on the hook on the door. Two minutes later, a hand reaches over the door and steals my purse. I got robbed while taking a crap. FML
Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a little old lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML
Today, I went to eat out. When I sat down, I realized I forgot my straw. I took my purse with me, not wanting it to get stolen. Someone stole my food instead. FML
Today, I had gone to the store and bought a new wallet. 5 minutes later a security guard asks for my receipt. Turns out I had dropped my receipt. Some guy had picked it up and pretended I had stole his wallet. The guard confiscated my wallet because the guy had "his" receipt to prove it. FML
Today, I passed out on the way to work. Some lucky passerby took this as an opportunity to help themself to my purse. FML
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Top comments
awkwardloveannie 28
JustJumped 22
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Comments (90)
UnluckyGenius 21
He must have had a "fun" night of drinking to lead into that.
brackaman 18
I dunno why people are thumbing this down. It seems perfectly valid to me that a partially drunk man would do this.
thejust666 6
It's because "fun" is in quotation marks for no reason, lol.
ChawanKiti 15
Hopefully nothing is ruined with his disgusting throw up. Ugh. I wouldn't touch anything in it after that.
OnlyTheDarkest 17
Then what would it matter if anything was damaged if you wouldn't touch it anyway?
ChawanKiti 15
For Op's sake, I hope nothing happened to the stuff. If this personally happened to me, I wouldn't want to touch anything. Was that hard to understand?
Merrqe 11
Slap the bitch in the face, take her Gucci bag and the north face off her back. Jab her if she act.
OnlyTheDarkest 17
It must be impossible to play up people's comments nowadays.. Sigh. No, 51, your comment was not hard to understand, I was simply making a joke. Pardon me for having more of an obvious sense of humor than yourself.
ChawanKiti 15
I have a sense of humour. You just don't joke very well. :^)
OnlyTheDarkest 17
Yes, Dear..
BeepBeepSwerve 9
Shoud have smacked him with the purse and then emptied the vomit on him.
Yellow_Fish79 11
LOL ... ewww that's disgusting. lol. I wonder if that's even a crime.
hama806 19
Now that's an expensive emesis basin.
confusedAsFuck 34
anyone who says YDI is an asshole
BeepBeepSwerve 9
but you just said it :o
jamnglamgirlie 17
Where were you?! D:
Nurd4lyfe 7
I hope he at least had the decency to remove your wallet and phone beforehand
perdix 29
Hey, free vomit! You don't get that every day :D
OnlyTheDarkest 17
Some people are just so generous! It brings a tear to my eye....
perdix 29
#25, I really admire people who give until it hurts ... dry heaves can be a bitch!
LilFlutter 10
When life gives you lemons (hey, free lemons!), you make lemonade, but what do you make when life gives you vomit?!
brackaman 18
Get so disgusted that you vomit back of course. It's a product that helps you make more of itself.
unlucky_lucy 17
At least he was kind enough to give it back... But yeah gross