By _RobotInDisguise - United Kingdom
Today, I received a 4 page letter in the post from a woman telling me she was Alan's wife. She spoke about their wedding in 2004, their two beautiful kids who love their daddy very much (she included pictures), and how much she loves him. Alan is my husband of 7 years. FML
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  GrapeJuice67  |  17

I never understand the point of it. He was clearly cheating on OP and/or lied to her about being single before they got married. Shouldn't you be angry at the cheater and not the person they were cheating on you with?

  TheTruth1428  |  0

I agree with #2. There's no way someone can have a second family and someone be so oblivious as to that fact. FYL for what happened, but YDI for not noticing the warning signs.

  escualida  |  0

some guys are really, really good at leading double lives, they are excellent liars and can come up with believable excuses on the spot, you'd be amazed

  gogogogollll  |  0

You have no idea what you are talking about. To kill, one just needs an hour or so. Having two families takes A LOT more than that.

People can be very unpredictable, but what happened SHOULD have been predicted during all these years.

  Sappheyes  |  0

I don't think #2 was suggesting noticing "warning signs" that he has the personality of a cheater, just something strange, as in he disappears for long enough at a time to maintain an entire separate family.

And really, over her 5 or 7 years respectively, one of these women did not notice that she was not legally married? Her tax returns went through with no problem? Unless he forged a marriage certificate, she wouldn't get one, and it still wouldn't go through with any agencies that might want to see a copy for changing her last name, adding beneficiaries, joining accounts, etc.

  boatkicker  |  4

It depends on his job, too. If that requires him to be out of time a lot, he could jsut say he's going to work, but actually be going to his other family. Flight attendants, Pilots seem the most notable to me, but plenty of professions require going out of town.

  Hexefrau  |  5

#22, I now have a wee internet crush on you. Dennis Rader is a fabulous example of a double life being led. People also thought Bundy was just a nice young man, etc. I agree, while the asshole in OP's blurb may not be a killer, there are certainly aspects of sociopathy, and we all know that sociopaths and borderline sociopaths are very calculating and able to lie convincingly due to their lack of emotion and overall humanity.

#57, I rescue kittens and puppies. And I drink tea. And I've been to two operas. And I just donated to breast cancer research AND Doctors Without Borders. I still lfind amusement in the crass, base side of humanity though, hence my internet addiction. Why not have both?

And to those of you calling bullshit...have any of you considered that he perhaps works in a field that requires extensive travel to a location away from his wife? I have a friend who is a vice detective (drugs unit) who was married to a "good" man. That man spent half of his time working on-site in Cali, the other time working at a remote site in Florida (he did some kind of contractor's work for the gov't, aerospace, I believe)...and he had a wife and kids in each location. The way he kept it from the IRS? He told the Florida wife that he didn't work for half of the year because he had to take turns with his brother caring for his ailing, unwell mother. He said because he was a 1099 contractor, he'd choose to file single so as not to burden the family with excessive taxes, so she should file as head of household. He then filed taxes with Cali wife because it behooved him monetarily.

Cali wife found out because a debt collector was after him for something in Florida. He called up and asked for Mrs. So and So. She answered this is...the debt collector said, "Oh, Marie"? and Cali wife replied "no, Janice So and So". So he went on to grill her about the hubby, and it became apparent that they were talking about the same guy, so she did some digging and discovered his transgressions, prompting a pretty nasty dicorce and and on her side, a decade of self-doubt, distrust, and general sense of revulsion for all men. Therapy doesn't seem to help her much, either...and sad thing is, I can't rightly blame her for feeling and behaving the way that she does.

  gogogogollll  |  0

#86: "God, even people that just watch crime shows know that much."

Agreed. You must watch A LOT of tv to start believing that this whole story can happen to anyone.

If you didn't get the irony on what I said about murder, I will tell you. Planning a murder can be done while taking a dump, but hiding two families simultaneously from each other requires waaaaay more commitment than that.

Please, don't love me, it'll be easier for everyone. We live far from each other, and I already have a girlfriend. Unless both you and she are stupid enough to believe that I must live half of the year on each hemisphere because I'm too sensitive to winter. I am sure my girlfriend is not.

  Celestia1982  |  5

I would think that, as in many loving, trusting relationships, what later are obvious red flags didn't seem like a big deal. So he has to travel a lot for work...or has to work a lot of late nights? Overtime on weekends a couple times a month? All explainable, esp. If he was making enough money foit

  Celestia1982  |  5

FML It cut me off. I was saying: if he was making enough money that all the travel and overtime was plausible, but not so much that the wife could realistically say it wasn't necessary, it wouldn't be all that hard to get away with. Love the comment about Dennis Rader earlier too.

By  tiancai  |  0

How could you both be legally married to him simultaneously? Unless I missed something and in the mean time Britain adopted Shariah law which allows a man to have up to 4 wives...