Today, I was walking down the street when a man stole my purse. He then opened the purse, threw up in it, and gave it back. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, while being robbed, a man heroically chased down the robber and got my purse back. He then looked at the distance between us, turned the other way and ran off with it. FML
Today, I was walking through a rough part of town, when a woman screamed that I'd stolen her bag. I was tackled to the ground by a large guy, who then gave my bag to her. FML
Today, while I was walking home from work, it started to rain. Clutching my bag in one hand, I started to run so I wouldn't get too wet. I saw a man running towards me and all of a sudden he tackled me to the ground. He thought I had stolen someone's handbag. FML
Today, I got mugged. As the guys who took my purse were about to walk away, my cellphone rang in my pocket. FML
Today, I used a public bathroom. I hung my purse up on the hook on the door. Two minutes later, a hand reaches over the door and steals my purse. I got robbed while taking a crap. FML
Today, I saw a drunk woman drop her purse in the street. I picked it up and went to give it to her, only for her to scream at me for being a thief. Then she started crying, apologized and hugged me, then got angry again, and finally threw up on me. FML
Today, I was walking down the street, when a little old lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML
Today, I went to eat out. When I sat down, I realized I forgot my straw. I took my purse with me, not wanting it to get stolen. Someone stole my food instead. FML
Today, I had gone to the store and bought a new wallet. 5 minutes later a security guard asks for my receipt. Turns out I had dropped my receipt. Some guy had picked it up and pretended I had stole his wallet. The guard confiscated my wallet because the guy had "his" receipt to prove it. FML
Today, I passed out on the way to work. Some lucky passerby took this as an opportunity to help themself to my purse. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
awkwardloveannie 28
JustJumped 22
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (90)
CrissyyyS2 22
Bitch. I would have chased him down and poured that vomit on his head!
perdix 29
He probably planned to rob you, but when he saw your "YOLO" wallet and your "Swaggy" sunglass case, it made him puke and force you to have your stuff back.
Obey_StudBoii 23
The hell lol?
ninjuh_wingman 29
I think this is one of the few times where someone steals something of yours and you wouldn't want it back.
papabear88 6
now, that's an idea for next time I can't find a public toilet in due time
olpally 32
I'd rather have him puke in the street. Lol. Go chase him and dump it on his head. people suck.
skyeyez9 24
What the **** was his malfunction?! Why would he do that?
tralala453 22
He just needed a place to throw up in...
OnlyTheDarkest 17
Really! Come on, OP, be more generous next time and offer your hat! It's hard to hold the sides of the purse open, doncha know?
worldclassrager 39
Wait what? Was really your purse the best thing for a "barf bag" seriously there wasn't a trash can around at all or for that matter an alleyway (if you were outside) and how does she deserve this........I better quit before this takes a page and a half to fill this comment....
LilFlutter 10
Usually when you walk down the street, it is outside. ;-) But, yeah, he really should've just thrown up onto the sidewalk/street, into a sewer grate, onto any grass/mulch/tree area, etc. Even if they were indoors, it would be better to throw up on the floor!
Ibeatmyself 3
He didn't steal he borrowed it