By Lewis - France - Paris After too many family dinners I'm not fat! Just well prepared for winter... 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Exton Today, marks the fourth day in a row that I've worn the same outfit to prove to my parents that they pay me no attention. They still haven't noticed. FML I agree, your life sucks 32835 You deserved it 3603 92 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Bristol Today, a customer told me that there was no way he was paying for his shopping. He then walked off. As it turns out, the customer IS always right. FML I agree, your life sucks 36307 You deserved it 3268 56 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By lovethateuropeanblood - Japan - Osaka Today, I enjoyed the soft caressing touch of the person I'm attracted to. It would have been even better if he weren't simply stroking my arm hair in amazement at its superior length and density. FML I agree, your life sucks 33959 You deserved it 5047 69 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By randomguy - United States - Saylorsburg Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML I agree, your life sucks 24876 You deserved it 12109 144 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By muffintop - Canada Today, I was standing at airport security. One of the bag inspectors asked me to remove my travel pouch, pointing to the lump under my shirt. I didn't know how to tell him that it was just one of my fat rolls. FML I agree, your life sucks 35075 You deserved it 13529 192 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By elijah - United States Today, my mom bitched me out, calling me a selfish pig and saying that the reason I don't have a girlfriend is because I'm so conceited. All of this because I started watching the latest episodes of Breaking Bad without her. FML I agree, your life sucks 24700 You deserved it 4126 107 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By [email protected] - France Today, I decided to spend a night of love with my darling, so I arranged to meet him in a very classy hotel, gave him the room number and waited in a super-sexy outfit. There was a knock at the door, so I opened it enticingly, convinced it was him. It was room service. FML I agree, your life sucks 33253 You deserved it 11810 49 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Finland Today, I got a boner in the MRI machine while my pelvic bone was being scanned. FML I agree, your life sucks 51719 You deserved it 8221 229 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Fatnlonely Today, at a pool party, I had forgotten to bring a swim suit, so I went in in my bra and shorts. After everyone screaming and telling me to put my shirt back on, I asked, "Why? It's the same as a bikini." My best friend told me it was because no one wanted to see me topless. FML I agree, your life sucks 1594 You deserved it 398 26 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By 3peeps - United States Today, I came to the conclusion that I was right about thinking how much it would hurt to hit your head on a door-frame, stub your toe on a stone table leg, and then trip over your cat, who won't take it well and will probably claw your recently stubbed toe. FML I agree, your life sucks 25342 You deserved it 3885 117 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ilovebigmacs - United States - San Francisco Today, I spotted an elderly man trying to use the ladder at work. Knowing customers aren't supposed to use these, I went over and helped. Not only did I fall from the ladder, but I landed on the old man's foot, breaking my elbow and fracturing his toe. FML I agree, your life sucks 22694 You deserved it 3156 24 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Lacey Today, I was at my class's band concert. Before the curtain was raised, I helped haul the piano to a different spot so a girl who would've had to stand behind it could be seen. I said, "There, now your mom can see you play!" She responded with, "My mom's blind." FML I agree, your life sucks 39079 You deserved it 4046 83 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 6/8/2020 17:00 Yikes Today, while arguing with my husband, I asked him what makes him so angry. He threw a spoon at the kitchen floor and yelled, “ I AM NOT ANGRY!!!!” FML I agree, your life sucks 1314 You deserved it 174 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By you fuckhobbit - United Kingdom Today, I was on my favourite forum when I saw a guy ranting at some pro-lifer fanatic. For fun, I replied "umad bro?" apparently moments after the forum founder also left an angry reply. I'm now banned for a month for "trolling the founder" and all my posts have vanished without a trace. FML I agree, your life sucks 12019 You deserved it 36380 84 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By kidyounot - United States - Statesboro Today, my fiancé called off our engagement after I contested his belief that women stop having periods after they are married. FML I agree, your life sucks 38474 You deserved it 4177 77 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Wow - United States Today, my girlfriend called me and told me to come to her college, so I did. I was greeted by the campus police who told me to stop harassing her because she no longer wants to be with me. Then they told me I was no longer welcome on campus and hereby banned. She used campus police to dump me. FML I agree, your life sucks 53802 You deserved it 3281 112 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By pisspantsjob - United States Today, at work, I fell asleep. This is how I discovered that when I'm sleeping, and am scared awake by my boss with an air horn, I yelp louder than a terrier and piss my pants. FML I agree, your life sucks 12714 You deserved it 49183 76 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Idi - France Today, I arrived right on time for my train. Only problem, it was the wrong station. FML I agree, your life sucks 20079 You deserved it 8425 16 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By j4 - United Kingdom Today, my date mugged me, just minutes after I paid our bill at the restaurant. FML I agree, your life sucks 37456 You deserved it 2941 75 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, due to recent changes in my local transit system, the bus that I take to work and back is a unidirectional loop instead of bi-directional. So my morning commute is the same, but the commute back is now an hour-and-half instead of 20 minutes. FML I agree, your life sucks 1663 You deserved it 105 6 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By definitelynotugly Today, I had a morning shift at the restaurant and didn't feel like wearing makeup. I was energetic and greeted everyone happily, but my manager told me I looked tired. I said, "Oh no I'm just not wearing makeup!" He said, "Well, you might need it." FML I agree, your life sucks 2716 You deserved it 320 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sonofaneuroticwench - United States - Rice Lake Today, my dad and I got into an argument, and he ended up calling me a son of a bitch. My mom heard and started arguing with him over him calling her a bitch. Three hours later, I'm now staying at my gran's house with my mom and hoping her threats of a divorce weren't for real. FML I agree, your life sucks 44527 You deserved it 3371 50 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia - Brunswick Today, I ran into a new guy at work who told me the regional manager was visiting today to evaluate the staff. I scoffed and said that everything I'd heard about the manager made him seem like a total prick. His reply? "Maybe, but I'm a prick who can FIRE people." FML I agree, your life sucks 10262 You deserved it 26987 46 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By poormum - Australia - Carlton North Today, I was unsuccessful in getting a job at a supermarket. The same supermarket I used to work at. I now have a degree but can't even get a job at a place I used to work. FML I agree, your life sucks 9684 You deserved it 797 21 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was walking to bed in fancy panties and a tight black tank top. My husband exclaimed, "This is the best part about being a grown up!" He was talking about the ice cream he was eating in bed. FML I agree, your life sucks 34547 You deserved it 4788 129 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By d4rkxf0x - United States - Lindale Today, I found the iPod touch that my mother claimed was stolen at the mall a few years ago, lying on her bed, still logged in to her Facebook. Thanks, mom. FML I agree, your life sucks 48948 You deserved it 4196 103 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Caz Today, I got on the Megabus for a 6-hour journey from London to Plymouth. I then realised I'd forgotten to fill up my water bottle and charge my iPod. It's a fully packed, sweaty hot loud coach. FML I agree, your life sucks 2263 You deserved it 1272 11 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By haters Today, while in a meeting for work, my boss expressed how much he likes everyone at our site. But before continuing, he looked at me and said, “Everyone but you, that is.” FML I agree, your life sucks 1682 You deserved it 194 4 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Herndon Today, I found a hornet's nest in the backyard, so I called my brother over to take a look. He said "Hmm, wonder how fast you can run." then hurled a rock at the nest and sprinted back to the house. I wasn't so fast. I now feel like someone's beaten me half to death with a cactus. FML I agree, your life sucks 37003 You deserved it 3963 63 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By "Noelle Diane Irwin" Today, I just found out that my sister slept with the guy that I have had a crush on for years and that she may or may not be pregnant with his child. FML I agree, your life sucks 2224 You deserved it 255 17 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Ava777 - United States Today, while leaving school to skip fourth period, I hit someone's car in the parking lot. It was the teacher's whose class I was going to skip. FML I agree, your life sucks 11724 You deserved it 59431 42 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ThisIsMyLife Flowers (Nothing But) Today, I bought flowers with my groceries at the grocery store. After the cashier scanned them, he handed them back to me so they wouldn't get crushed in my cart. It was then that I realized he's the first man to ever hand me flowers. FML I agree, your life sucks 1565 You deserved it 215 3 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By arrrrggggghhhh - United States Today, I realized that my roommate has been using my loofah to clean our toilet. I've been cleaning myself with the shit of four college boys for the last six months. FML I agree, your life sucks 77955 You deserved it 5154 90 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By cali - United States Today, I had just finished writing my rough draft essay, so I went to sit by the pond. A giant moth suddenly flew down and attacked me, causing me to drop my binder in the pond, ruining the essay. I discovered in the aftermath that the moth was actually a leaf. FML I agree, your life sucks 12833 You deserved it 33227 115 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By chawlay - United States Today, I had to sift through hundreds of pages of legal documents. They were all written in Comic Sans font. FML I agree, your life sucks 38774 You deserved it 4599 266 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I waited on an elderly man whose wife had just left him. After him going on and on about how his dog will love his leftover chicken, I nervously caught a case of verbal diarrhea and uttered, "Well, if there's chicken involved, I'll get on my knees and be your dog." FML I agree, your life sucks 11339 You deserved it 35740 155 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Australia Today, as a respected artist I was running a workshop with a bunch of rowdy college kids. I was in the middle of demonstrating a painting technique when I accidentally washed my paintbrush in my coffee instead of my paint water. They waited until I then drank from it to burst out in hysterics. FML I agree, your life sucks 47320 You deserved it 16249 114 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Wow - United States - Sanford Today, I walked outside to see my dog killing my cat. My spouse tried to cheer me up - "Hey, at least we don't have to buy cat food anymore!" FML I agree, your life sucks 28785 You deserved it 3296 92 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Japan Today, I was riding the subway to work. Barely anyone was on because of how early it was. Me and this one guy in a trench coat were in the same cart. His stop came. He walked by me, flashed me, rubbed his penis on my arm, and then ran away really fast. FML I agree, your life sucks 138199 You deserved it 10382 290 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By WorthLessThanACareer Today, the guy I've been dating said we couldn't see each other anymore because he needed to focus on his career. He's unemployed. FML I agree, your life sucks 13387 You deserved it 1176 43 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, I got my period. I was going to have my first threesome tomorrow. FML I agree, your life sucks 687 You deserved it 292 4 Comments
Today, I was patiently explaining to my boyfriend what I liked in bed, after several weeks of unsatisfactory sex. He snapped at me and said, "80% of women... I agree, your life sucks 1173 You deserved it 107 13 Comments
