By Lewis - France - Paris After too many family dinners I'm not fat! Just well prepared for winter... 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By nobrony - United States - Katonah Today, my girlfriend got a tattoo of a Rainbow Dash over her pubic mound. Now whenever I go down on her, I'll be eye-to-eye with an adorable pony that shits rainbows. FML I agree, your life sucks 36796 You deserved it 5455 280 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I had to go to the dentist to have a cavity filled. Around halfway through the procedure, something broke the silence in the room. It was my dentist, who had farted. I had to smell his rancid flatulence for around the next five minutes. All the while, I had to keep my mouth wide open. FML I agree, your life sucks 39619 You deserved it 2648 78 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Nicole557 - United States Today, after a year and a half, I finally admitted to myself that I'm in an abusive relationship. Not with a person though, with my cat. FML I agree, your life sucks 29458 You deserved it 10471 106 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By sleepingonmydesk - United Kingdom - Longfield Today, after not being able to sleep for two hours because my boyfriend wouldn't stop talking, he fell asleep and I was left wide awake. I listened to him snore for another three hours and only got a couple of hours sleep. He's not working today, but I am. FML I agree, your life sucks 27333 You deserved it 3298 70 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, while at work, I started to feel sick to my stomach, hot, and dizzy. My co-worker told me to go home. On the way through the locker room to get my stuff, I experienced a dizzy spell so severe, I blacked out and pooped myself. No one in the building is going to let me forget this. FML I agree, your life sucks 35779 You deserved it 3140 94 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By WTF, guys? - United States - San Francisco Today, it's my fourth day of my trip to the USA. I've actually started keeping count of the number of times people get confused because I was born in South Africa and yet am not black. Current count: 9. FML I agree, your life sucks 46367 You deserved it 4135 121 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By hopeless romantic - United States - Dayton Today, I realized my dog looks at me with way more love in his eyes than my own boyfriend does. FML I agree, your life sucks 42096 You deserved it 5504 131 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By depr3ssed - United States Today, I realized what all the women I've been with have in common: Craigslist. FML I agree, your life sucks 8534 You deserved it 29419 135 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By poupi - France Today, I was reading the end of my book. I turn the page and see, written at the top: "Lauren kills Paul in the end... You shouldn't have pissed me off." It was from my sister, we had a fight yesterday. FML I agree, your life sucks 25432 You deserved it 6915 61 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Snoop Today, I went through my boyfriend’s emails and found out that he cheated on me the day before he asked me to move in with him. FML I agree, your life sucks 1731 You deserved it 323 10 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By ouch. - United States Today, my father was telling me that one of the benefits about his job was that the family could get discounts, then asked if I'd like some. My dad's a plastic surgeon. FML I agree, your life sucks 29971 You deserved it 3378 107 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By AshWil - United States - Washington Today, I accidentally posted an extensive, negative review of the gynecologist I visited earlier this week. I messed up and posted it from my work's customer service email, so now it looks like the large, well-known company I work for had a poor gynecological experience. FML I agree, your life sucks 16851 You deserved it 22990 51 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By liquorless - Canada - Hamilton Today, my girlfriend's mother came over for a few hours. After she left I went to grab a drink, only to find that three bottles of expensive liquor were missing from our liquor cabinet. FML I agree, your life sucks 25075 You deserved it 1921 84 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By just realized - 16/9/2020 23:03 - United States Weird projection, but OK Today, I realized that when someone's pregnant or introduces me to their kids, they're saying, "I had sex with this person" and now I can’t stop visualizing it. Keep me out of your personal life, Tom. FML I agree, your life sucks 447 You deserved it 1257 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By my ears are dying - United States Today, my five year old niece decided to wake me up by shoving blasting earphones in my ears. Five hours later I can still hear Justin Bieber shrieking "Baby". FML I agree, your life sucks 39368 You deserved it 5323 245 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By WTF. Today, I was interviewed by a WalMart employee for a position in their pharmacy. I didn't get the job. I was more qualified than the woman who gave me the interview. FML I agree, your life sucks 1640 You deserved it 308 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Should I stay or go? - United States - Seattle Today, I was supposed to hear from my supervisor about whether or not my company was going to be letting me go. I've been on continual probation for the last 6 months, waiting to hear when they'll decide. She'd said last Friday that I'd definitely hear from her today. It's now 5:30 p.m. She's gone home. FML I agree, your life sucks 6365 You deserved it 595 19 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By macone - 24/4/2021 21:30 Droning on Today, a colleague crashed a drone into my almost brand new car. I even asked him before if it was OK to park there or if I should better park somewhere else, and he said, "No problem" and bragged about being the best drone pilot. FML I agree, your life sucks 817 You deserved it 110 2 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Motorless Today, after months of riding a bike through the rain, I finally saved up enough for a car. It was a little aged, but ran fine. That is, until a tire blew out, the engine stalled, and the battery died within one week. FML I agree, your life sucks 3250 You deserved it 340 12 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Mexico - Ensenada Today, I was denounced for being a terrible person, because my family raises chickens, some of which we eat. I was then told how cruel I am for "killing innocent birds" and that "good" people buy their meat from the supermarket. FML I agree, your life sucks 51833 You deserved it 3241 63 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By karmaquestionmark - United States - Silverton Today, my mom sold my Magic box at a garage sale because I "never use it." Locked inside it was my fake ID, a couple of hundred bucks, and a bag of weed. She can't remember who she sold it to. FML I agree, your life sucks 18072 You deserved it 36761 199 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By CelibateHero - United States - Notre Dame Today, as I was walking home, a car drove through a puddle and splashed me like in a cheesy movie. As if that wasn't annoying enough, the driver had to pull over because she was laughing too hard. FML I agree, your life sucks 48910 You deserved it 3489 71 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 16/9/2020 02:04 Party animal Today, my husband woke up, tried walking to the bathroom, fell down, got back up and started peeing on the carpet. I’ve never seen him this drunk before. FML I agree, your life sucks 1192 You deserved it 154 5 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By klanciee - United States - Valencia Today, when I woke up, I noticed something crawling on my bed. A white faced wasp was dragging the corpse of a rather large spider. I'm not sure what I was more disturbed about; the fact that the wasp was dragging something twice its size, or that these bugs even live in my house. FML I agree, your life sucks 29381 You deserved it 2195 144 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Mike - United States Today, I got in an elevator at a hotel. Just as the door was closing, somebody banged into the door and stuck their hand through. I yelled, "What, are you retarded?!" The doors then opened to reveal a mentally handicapped boy with his parents standing behind him. FML I agree, your life sucks 15084 You deserved it 54545 166 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By academicloser - United States Today, in an attempt to get some guidance from my college advisor, I emailed her, saying I was contemplating going to another school because I felt so helpless about my GPA, and was sure I wouldn't get my major. I asked for advice on raising it. She gave me instructions on how to drop out. FML I agree, your life sucks 28289 You deserved it 7376 81 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By cls_x - United States - Riverview Today, I was holding the door open for a friend. She told me to wait a second because she had to finish a text. Nearly a minute passed before I asked why she wouldn't come inside to finish typing. We were at a Chinese restaurant. She thought the "No MSG" sign meant you couldn't text inside. FML I agree, your life sucks 37335 You deserved it 4003 168 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By notexactly - Sweden Today, the guy I like called me, and my mom picked up. Just as it happened I slipped and fell in the shower and was sitting there moaning. The guy asked if he could speak to me, but my mom heard me and answered "Well, she is masturbating right now, but I'll tell her to call you later!". FML I agree, your life sucks 31930 You deserved it 3288 87 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By S to the HIT - United States Today, at a mind-numbingly boring support session, everyone was talking about their hardships. One guy was talking about losing his leg in a car accident. I was half-asleep and asked without thinking, "Did you ever find it?" I almost shat my pants at the roomful of death glares that followed. FML I agree, your life sucks 18821 You deserved it 35636 100 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By EllieJ Today, I opened a cupboard and a brick fell on my head. The same brick my mum put up there to "keep it out of the way". FML I agree, your life sucks 35847 You deserved it 4365 230 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By cndpost - Canada Today, I sent my boyfriend a letter, turns out it was the wrong address. My panties are now somewhere in Canadian post. FML I agree, your life sucks 9801 You deserved it 42624 92 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Tori Today, I got news that I had "delighted a customer" so I looked at the review online. It says, "The fat girl up front was nice." FML I agree, your life sucks 4435 You deserved it 450 7 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By notcool - United States Today, I called my boyfriend upset because my best friend has begun stripping to pay for school. His response was, "Where and what time does she work?" FML I agree, your life sucks 35418 You deserved it 8811 140 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By mermaidkeels - United States - Miami Today, after attending lectures for months, studying for weeks, and spending hours writing a 15-page research paper, I was informed that due to technological issues during registration, I was not enrolled in the class. FML I agree, your life sucks 17842 You deserved it 1224 40 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By danskinnow - United States Today, I went to a store to buy a man's thong because my girlfriend wanted me to. When I went in I also grabbed some lingerie for her. Thinking I was being clever I wrapped it up in a t-shirt so no one would notice and went to checkout. The cashier then called for a price check on the thong. FML I agree, your life sucks 13087 You deserved it 34610 62 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Tampa Today, I realized my girlfriend makes the same exact noises in bed and when she eats. I don't know if I'm a really good cook or a really bad lover. FML I agree, your life sucks 33156 You deserved it 4052 146 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By monkers - Canada - Westlock Today, I have such bad diarrhea that every time I sneeze I poop. I've discovered it's very hard to run to the bathroom every time I feel the urge to sneeze. FML I agree, your life sucks 25177 You deserved it 1768 96 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Akron Those things are creepy Today, I woke up and screamed. My older sister had placed a Furby right by my face while I was asleep. This is a common occurrence. FML I agree, your life sucks 43037 You deserved it 5040 98 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By yuck Today, I found out that what I thought was my brother gasping and groaning in his dreams most nights is actually him jacking off. FML I agree, your life sucks 30284 You deserved it 4164 79 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By teacher - United States - Apo Today, I started my first teaching job ever. As I was teaching, another teacher interrupted my class about 5 times because she thought it was her class. Not only did she ruin my confidence, her behavior caused my students to laugh at me. FML I agree, your life sucks 39562 You deserved it 2952 67 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, I walked in on my mom, my dad, Sarah, and Sarah's husband James making dinner in the kitchen. Completely naked. At 2 p.m. They weren't cooking anything... I agree, your life sucks 87 You deserved it 5 2 Comments
Today, I've been single for so long, I very nearly had a wet dream about an anthropomorphic frog. A FROG. FML I agree, your life sucks 342 You deserved it 73 6 Comments
