After too many family dinners By Lewis - 28/12/2018 00:30 - France - Paris I'm not fat! Just well prepared for winter... I agree, your life sucks 282 You deserved it 137 Share Tweet Share
Today, I was baking cookies. When I took the tray out of the oven, I closed the door, but it bounced back open and hit me in the back of the knees. That caused me to sit down on the hot oven door. I was only wearing my short bathrobe and no underwear. I really burned my ass and, um… stuff. FML I agree, your life sucks 89 545 You deserved it 15 625
Today, I was being drug tested as part of a pre-employment policy for substitute teaching. Once I had peed in the cup enough to pass the line, I put it on the only available space: the toilet paper holder. Trying to get toilet paper, I knocked the cup over, spilling pee all over myself. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 544 You deserved it 931
Today, my mom threw my tampons in the garbage and said that from now on, I'll be buying pads instead. Turns out she read a scare story going around by email that all the local teens are soaking their tampons in alcohol and inserting them anally to secretly get drunk. FML I agree, your life sucks 33 950 You deserved it 2 158
Today, I invaded my boyfriend’s privacy by looking through his phone. I read the texts between him and his mom. I realized his mom is the worst. Then I realized I’m exactly like his mom. I told my boyfriend what I did, and called him weird for dating his mom. FML I agree, your life sucks 182 You deserved it 2 282
Today, at a cheap restaurant, my dad asked me if I wanted a straw. I declined, saying I wanted to do my bit for the environment and not waste plastic when I'm fine without. He grabbed three and dropped them on the sticky table, "just in case." FML I agree, your life sucks 1 710 You deserved it 523
Today, I told my sister that I thought I was pregnant, and that she was the only person I had called. Immediately after I hung up the phone I got a text saying, "OMG my sister thinks she's pregnant!" FML I agree, your life sucks 40 325 You deserved it 5 653