By Lewis - France - Paris After too many family dinners I'm not fat! Just well prepared for winter... 0 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By fml - United States Today, I told my dad I was going to Walgreens and asked if he needed anything. He needed condoms, and that I should call him when I get there so he can explain the kind he likes. FML I agree, your life sucks 68299 You deserved it 5442 94 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Fire sucks. - United States Today, there was a forest fire in my town. I was still forced to go to school, as it was safer. A lot of people decided not to go, and we ended up doing nothing but watching the news reports. There, I got to see my house burning on live TV. FML I agree, your life sucks 74415 You deserved it 4634 196 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, my dad forgot me at cross country practice. When he got there two hours late, instead of apologizing, he said, "Hey, that's only the third time I've forgotten you at practice. You should be congratulating me." FML I agree, your life sucks 31662 You deserved it 2797 81 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By xx-look-at-xx - France - Auriol Today, I was supervising some kids, who were playing on a bouncy castle. One of them managed to kick me in the face during a jump, and looking for an apology, I asked, "What do you say?" He paused, then shouted, "HEADSHOTTTTT!" FML I agree, your life sucks 48200 You deserved it 19797 105 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United Kingdom - Birmingham Today, the guy I really like acknowledged my existence for the first time. Too bad it was through a text saying "lol ur a fat fukc". FML I agree, your life sucks 40162 You deserved it 4312 143 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I dog-sat for my neighbors' pitbull. Weighing in at 100 pounds with a nasty bite; this dog was no lap dog, but I treated it as one - not knowing how deadly this dog could be - beckoning it towards me with my hand. I now have 6 stitches in my hand and arm, and the neighbors didn't pay me. FML I agree, your life sucks 52129 You deserved it 17834 243 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By brannie - United States Today, I found out that Google+ has been automatically uploading my cell phone pictures as I take them. My friends have now seen pictures of me, my penis, and other things too horrifying to talk about. FML I agree, your life sucks 17678 You deserved it 46214 242 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By msj137 - United States Today, I had a softball tournament which also landed on my birthday. My dad had to leave town for work, so he left me a card on my night stand. Instead of a happy birthday, all it said was 'Don't mess up the game for everyone'. FML I agree, your life sucks 46070 You deserved it 2829 76 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By chubbyreddevil - United States Today, at work, a customer threatened to punch me in the face because the store I work at doesn't have shopping baskets, only carts. FML I agree, your life sucks 27652 You deserved it 2380 119 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anon - United States Today, after changing his mind 3 times, my long distance fiancé told me he wasn't coming to see me for Thanksgiving. Out of anger, I threw his clothes, car magazines, and whatever else I could find in a huge, messy pile. During this, he walked into the room. He was going to surprise me. FML I agree, your life sucks 14680 You deserved it 48102 206 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Sri Lanka - Colombo Today, a colleague told me he was pretending to be me on a dating site, and that he has four pending dates. Last time I tried being myself, my first and only date pushed me down some stairs. FML I agree, your life sucks 22841 You deserved it 1670 43 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By anon. - United Kingdom - London Today, while working at the bar, I accidentally spilled a beer on my chest. Several drunk men whistled and seemed to enjoy what they saw so much that they bought even more drinks and started coming onto me. My boss asked if I could do it again on my next shift. FML I agree, your life sucks 27235 You deserved it 2747 76 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, while having sex, I thought I was having an orgasm for the first time. Turns out I was just hyperventilating. FML I agree, your life sucks 42161 You deserved it 6430 114 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Jesstanothergurl - Canada - Toronto Today, I had to visit a new office building for a meeting. Halfway through the meeting, I got really nauseous and needed to throw up. I ran to find a bathroom, but got lost and ended up in a printing room. With no other option, I was forced to puke into a large envelope. FML I agree, your life sucks 11558 You deserved it 862 48 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By GamingWolfy5 Today, I got angry at my computer, and instead of bashing my keyboard with my fists, I bashed my face on the keyboard. It REALLY hurt. FML I agree, your life sucks 484 You deserved it 2739 8 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, I got yelled at for not taking an order correctly at work. I've been washing dishes all day and haven't taken a single order. FML I agree, your life sucks 15067 You deserved it 863 26 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Noname - United States Today, I wanted to seduce my boyfriend so I put on my sexiest lingerie and started playing mood music. As he was eating dinner, I climbed up on the table and started seductively crawling across to him. The table collapsed under my weight. FML I agree, your life sucks 31736 You deserved it 50507 80 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I decided I'd take a nap in my car because I got to work very early. As I was waking up from my nap, I saw a cop looking right at me. Turns out, a lady who'd parked her car right next to mine after I was asleep had called the cops on me because she thought I was dead. FML I agree, your life sucks 32423 You deserved it 4320 58 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco Today, I staged an intervention for my dad, because his midlife crisis has spun out of control. When I told him he's now basically endangering his own life, he replied "Everyone's gonna die someday. Some sooner than others, eh porky?" FML I agree, your life sucks 21768 You deserved it 2255 50 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Username - United States Today, I was asked how far I've gone with a guy. My answer? Eye contact. I'm 19. FML I agree, your life sucks 40541 You deserved it 8045 377 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By awkward - Finland Today, my mom got me a job working for the man she's cheating on my dad with. My dad doesn't know that she's cheating, and my mom doesn't know that I know. It's just awkward. FML I agree, your life sucks 52632 You deserved it 4042 209 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - Canada Today, I got a new cell phone. I was texting pictures from my old phone to my new one, including several dirty ones, when I noticed I wasn't receiving any of them on the new phone. I was texting the wrong number. FML I agree, your life sucks 12975 You deserved it 59767 121 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By wolfpacking - France Today, I was in the car with my friends. A techno song came on and we started fist pumping. We hit a bump, I fist pumped myself in the face, and crashed into a stop sign. FML I agree, your life sucks 13109 You deserved it 53855 190 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By unlucky - Hong Kong - Central District Today, I thought it'd be fun to kick open one of those unisex bathrooms in my workplace. I'm not sure who was more surprised, me or my boss who was in there taking a dump. FML I agree, your life sucks 15302 You deserved it 39515 71 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - San Francisco Today, my school had to make an official announcement that students were not permitted to go home due to Zayn Malik leaving One Direction because so many girls were claiming they couldn't focus on school with such a dramatic event occurring. FML I agree, your life sucks 42280 You deserved it 3617 267 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Noname - United States Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML I agree, your life sucks 20567 You deserved it 6617 57 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Crappit - United States Today, my roomate thought it would be funny to take pictures of my morning wood and put it up on Facebook for everyone to see. FML I agree, your life sucks 28316 You deserved it 3348 65 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Arghh - United States Today, I had an allergic reaction to cranberry juice. The only reason I was drinking cranberry juice was to help with a bladder infection. Now I'm covered in what looks like a rash and peeing constantly. FML I agree, your life sucks 33818 You deserved it 3315 171 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States Today, I was fired from my job. I was a lifeguard and the other day a 30 year old man who only spoke spanish hit on me. I'm 16 and politely rejected him. He then went to the front desk and told them how I tried molesting him in the locker room. FML I agree, your life sucks 50387 You deserved it 2629 95 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By BannedfromFriend - United States Today, I was at my best friend's house, listening to him complain about his mother remembering all the bad stuff he did when he was in high school. I jokingly said, "An elephant never forgets." Guess who was behind me. FML I agree, your life sucks 24758 You deserved it 10864 34 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By HOPE YOU GET PEGGED - Canada - Hinton Today, my mom hosted a high-school reunion. I had to prepare dessert, while my brother cooked dinner. Being the absolute dickhead that he is, he switched the sugar with salt. All the desserts I made tasted like shit, everyone left, and I got grounded for my supposed prank. FML I agree, your life sucks 26378 You deserved it 2390 109 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By omen - 2/9/2020 10:01 - Indonesia - Majalengka The future Today, I have to take care of my abusive grandpa. He's smearing poop all over the wall and peeing on the bed again. It's still morning and I'm bracing myself for doing this five times a day. FML I agree, your life sucks 1532 You deserved it 96 9 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - United States - Arlington Heights Today, I went to a café and got some soup. When I was done, a nice waiter came over and offered to take my mostly empty soup bowl. I quickly at the last of it, looked up smiling and said "thanks". The soup dribbled out of my mouth and onto his hand. FML I agree, your life sucks 38668 You deserved it 11323 50 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By terribob1 Today, I was terminated from my job. This comes after I sent HR an email about an inappropriate relationship between my manager and a counselor. Seems like I should have kept my mouth shut. FML I agree, your life sucks 12432 You deserved it 4451 48 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous Today, the girl I thought I was dating introduced me to her boyfriend. We've gone on dates and have slept in the same bed, but it turns out she thought I was her gay best friend and was planning to introduce me to her boyfriend's brother. FML I agree, your life sucks 5237 You deserved it 830 23 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Fox - United States Today, while driving extremely fast on a road in the middle of nowhere, I started to go down a hill. Noticing a police car at the bottom, I slammed my brakes and blew a tire in the process. It turns out the police car was an old cutout used to trick people. FML I agree, your life sucks 12326 You deserved it 57458 137 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By Anonymous - 20/7/2020 20:02 Live from Salt Lake City Today, I’m in a polyamorous relationship with my husband and another woman. She has anger issues and has been very abusive to me, and finally told my husband she wants to break up with me. Not him... just me. She’s still sleeping in our bed with him, and I’m sleeping on the couch. FML I agree, your life sucks 1420 You deserved it 2455 19 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By RIP iPhone - United States Today, I was using my flashlight app in the driveway to avoid stepping in puddles, as my new shoes are untreated suede. I dropped my phone in the puddle instead. FML I agree, your life sucks 6480 You deserved it 1995 13 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By loser doctor - Philippines Today, I found out the girl I was in love with has a new boyfriend. I blame myself because I believed her when she said she "wasn't ready" for a relationship. FML I agree, your life sucks 26001 You deserved it 4323 51 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
By "mynameissecretlyjeff" - United States Today, my brother put a mac-n-cheese cup in the microwave without any water. My entire house smells like burnt cardboard. FML I agree, your life sucks 4137 You deserved it 351 15 Comments Favorite Tweet Share
Today, I got home from work a few hours early to find my mum cheating, right in the middle of the act. So much for a nice afternoon off. FML I agree, your life sucks 496 You deserved it 34 3 Comments
Today, barely able to pay rent while working 3 jobs, I decided to give in to the idea of making online sex work photos and videos. Everyone else seems... I agree, your life sucks 846 You deserved it 294 5 Comments
