Today, I was walking at a section of the zoo where you are in the cage, and the monkeys are climbing outside of the cage. I was having a great time until I looked up and one of the monkeys urinated all over my face. Not only did everyone see, but there was no way for me to shower for six hours. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while explaining to a group of kids that monkeys are very intelligent creatures, one of them flung poo in my face. FML
Today, I was punched in the balls by a monkey. FML
Today, I went to use a public restroom. I walked into the first stall and found it occupied… by a raccoon. It hissed at me, and in my panic, I backed into a janitor's cart, knocking over the mop and bucket. I had to leave the bathroom drenched in dirty water while a crowd of people watched. FML
Today, while studying in India, I was peacefully journaling, reflecting and enjoying the beautiful landscape. And then a monkey threw its poo at me. FML
Today, I went to the zoo to see all of my favorite animals. When I got there, I realized they must've all been on strike or something, and refused to come out of their enclosures. FML
Today, I went to a petting zoo with my niece and nephew. While we were checking out the llamas, one of them spat directly into my face. Disgusted and embarrassed, we turned away to pet a deer. The deer immediately urinated, then shook its tail, which splattered it into my face. FML
Today, I was let go from my balloon-selling job at the zoo. They put a new monkey cage in my designated spot. I was literally fired so a monkey could take my place. FML
Today, I took my daughter to the zoo. I threw a piece of my sandwich towards a very cute chimpanzee. As a thank you, he threw a piece of crap at me, which exploded all over my shirt. FML
Today, I rushed home, barged into the bathroom, and released the biggest, most foul mudmonkeys ever, complete with noises. I came out and my brother and his hot friends, including the one I have a crush on, were all laughing. My brother told me, “Don’t forget to Lysol spray.' FML
Today, my family, including my 2 year old niece, went to the zoo. We were at the lion exhibit. I was holding my niece so she could get a better view of the lions. As I was holding her, the lions started to roar. She got so scared that she peed. Her diaper wasn't very absorbent, but my shirt was. FML
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Top comments
simplyn2deep 2
I'll take that experience over my experience: gorilla crap thrown from 10 ft away
Buzzetta 0
What zoo does not have a bathroom? Man up and go to the bathroom and wash your face with soap and water.
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Comments (76)
blooop_fml 0
How is that an fml? It was a hot day and you got a quick way to cool down. People need to be more grateful.
spatan89 0
why cant you shower?! im sure after what happened the zoo would immediately assess the situation. you could sue them for that... on another note, which zoo does this cage setup thing? the designer must have been very stupid to not thing of events like this happened...especially monkey cages!
someindiandude 6
what is with this country and suing for random crap....urine in this case.
cristy91 33
Monkey Jungle has this exact setup and is in FL. It's actually one of its selling points.
coldplaylive2003 0
yum
cristy91 33
Were you at monkey jungle?!? (hopefully you look at this) And that sucks. Even if you can wash yourself, you'd have to wait till you get home to put on a new shirt. Or waste a lot to buy a new shirt. Either way that sucks.
tenkenshi 2
You didn't need that shower since you already got a golden shower from the monkey.
rawrrr101 0
you could have washed your face, at a bathroom.
ISellHerbs 0
I thought that too but you have to think that if the monkey had a good stream going for a second or two it would have run off their face and either on or down their shirt.
sikanderimran 0
did he cum on you too?
Buzzetta 0
What zoo does not have a bathroom? Man up and go to the bathroom and wash your face with soap and water.
CyclonePsycho 1
Caged animals suck. D:
ihateme23 0
thats seriously one of the worst ideas for a zoo. ever. if it were like a dome, then i would say otherwise.
Xader 0
Seriously! Everybody knows monkeys love seeing their various excrements impact people...