Today, I was walking at a section of the zoo where you are in the cage, and the monkeys are climbing outside of the cage. I was having a great time until I looked up and one of the monkeys urinated all over my face. Not only did everyone see, but there was no way for me to shower for six hours. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while explaining to a group of kids that monkeys are very intelligent creatures, one of them flung poo in my face. FML
Today, I was punched in the balls by a monkey. FML
Today, I went to use a public restroom. I walked into the first stall and found it occupied… by a raccoon. It hissed at me, and in my panic, I backed into a janitor's cart, knocking over the mop and bucket. I had to leave the bathroom drenched in dirty water while a crowd of people watched. FML
Today, while studying in India, I was peacefully journaling, reflecting and enjoying the beautiful landscape. And then a monkey threw its poo at me. FML
Today, I went to the zoo to see all of my favorite animals. When I got there, I realized they must've all been on strike or something, and refused to come out of their enclosures. FML
Today, I went to a petting zoo with my niece and nephew. While we were checking out the llamas, one of them spat directly into my face. Disgusted and embarrassed, we turned away to pet a deer. The deer immediately urinated, then shook its tail, which splattered it into my face. FML
Today, I was let go from my balloon-selling job at the zoo. They put a new monkey cage in my designated spot. I was literally fired so a monkey could take my place. FML
Today, I took my daughter to the zoo. I threw a piece of my sandwich towards a very cute chimpanzee. As a thank you, he threw a piece of crap at me, which exploded all over my shirt. FML
Today, I rushed home, barged into the bathroom, and released the biggest, most foul mudmonkeys ever, complete with noises. I came out and my brother and his hot friends, including the one I have a crush on, were all laughing. My brother told me, “Don’t forget to Lysol spray.' FML
Today, my family, including my 2 year old niece, went to the zoo. We were at the lion exhibit. I was holding my niece so she could get a better view of the lions. As I was holding her, the lions started to roar. She got so scared that she peed. Her diaper wasn't very absorbent, but my shirt was. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
simplyn2deep 2
I'll take that experience over my experience: gorilla crap thrown from 10 ft away
Buzzetta 0
What zoo does not have a bathroom? Man up and go to the bathroom and wash your face with soap and water.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (76)
koifish43332 0
At least they weren't chucking feces at each other on that day. It could have been MUCH worse... You have some of my sympathy, my friend, but not all. FYL
CykoX 0
So you just stood there and took it? R. Kelly would be proud!
DynamiteDice 0
wow so zoos dont have sinks anymore apparently then, huh?
anniebananie 3
Worst idea for a zoo exhibit EVER.
snappycomeback 3
Since the location is Florida, I'm guessing you went to Monkey Jungle. Maybe you should wear a poncho next time you go. :)
eekamouse4123 0
monkIES :
aaaaa12345_fml 0
actually, monkEYS. learn to spell before you try to correct someone
pingpongdj 0
fail, it's monkeys. don't act smart when you're not the slightest bit smart. (:
hatarou 0
beware of the R.Kelly monkey
hatarou 0
beware of the R.Kelly monkey
nazrew 0
lol monkies are the best
iFruit 0
I'd piss myself if a monkey pissed on me.