By Ribbed for Her Disaster - 04/04/2013 16:04 - United Kingdom - Orpington

Spicy
Today, I was trying out my first vibrator. Soon enough, my 12-year-old sister opened my door, walked in, and saw me naked from the waist down. She laughed, called me a virgin, and left. FML
I agree, your life sucks 58 325
You deserved it 19 397

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Virgins nowadays are like unicorns. There are none.

I'm pretty sure that's why locks were invented.

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Virgins nowadays are like unicorns. There are none.

But... I'm a virgin. I'M A FUCKING UNICORN!!!

There might be a slight difference

It saddens me that being a virgin is used as an insult in today's society sometimes. The way things are anymore being a virgin should be respected. Makes me fear my daughter growing up in this world.

We can both be unicorns!

D: I didn't say you couldn't be a unicorn! D: I just called you a naughty nun!:o

I love how 1 is talking about sweet nice unicorns and his picture is jigsaw..

i never knew i was a unicorn... FUCK YEA!

Most people that joke about virgins are virgins themselves anyways. If you're really getting any, you wouldn't brag about it.

Can I be a Pegasus instead? I'd rather fly than have a horn in my head. :P

Good point #69. I am officially trading in my horn for the wings of a virgin angel horse.

"Shun the nonbelievers Charlie. Shunnnnnn"

Oh oh, not exactly. I'm still a virgin. I know many people who are still virgins. There just isn't many.

#69 but you can poke people with your head

Guys I want to be a pegasus unicorn. Then I can fly and I have a horn in my head. Being a virgin is great.

But poking people is what gets your virgin status revoked and then you lose the horn and then you're just a horse.

Wow, there are so many unicorns at my engineering college, including me.... *Flys off with a horn on my head studying the physics of friendship*

I'm a flying unicorn. On top of that I'm 19

There might be more unicorns than you thought #1.

Its like different levels of virginity and chasteness grants you various forms of unicornism, for example a celibate would have wings, a diamond horn and when he/she runs/flies rainbows come out of its ass... amazing.

Mother of god. What have I done to this thread.

123- That's right. Now I have to favorite this post merely for this thread. My sides and cheeks hurt.

yay now im a unicorn.

Yay!!! I'm a unicorn! Hmmm if I gain wings, I can be an alicorn, which is even MORE rare!!!!

Unicorn reporting in.

I reclaim my horn. I AM PRINCESS LUNA! THOU SHALL BOW BEFORE ME! (Yeah, I'm a female brony. Deal with it. :)

B-but...UNICORNS ARE REAL! DO NOT DENY THEIR EXISTENCE! THEY WILL PEE ON YOU! And then the daleks will exterminate you >:o

Can I be a mermaid instead?

When you don't screw before marriage the girl will laugh at your small dick that before then you didn't know was small. Being a virgin isn't a bad thing or even just not having one night stands, but some people can't keep in there pants. I know I couldn't but I did marry him... What he was good what can I say.

I just came to say that this is the most hilarious FML thread I've seen in a while. Good job, everybody! (Except you, ladytigerhunts. No applause for you. None.)

Can't engineers engineer us some virgins... errr..... I mean unicorns? @#26

I'm a unicorn, but can I be a dragon instead? Not a huge assholes one though. Like a 6 foot dragon that just went around, giving advice and flying and shit.

Some have. sex dolls....

136 alicorn... i just read piers anthonys bearing an hourglass... the alicorn was awsome ;) murderouse little bastered

I like your thinking on this. I'm a unicorn too!!

77: "I know many virgins... there just aren't many virgins" Which fucking one? there are many and you know tgem yhere aren't?

I want to join this army of unicorns! Being a virgin is awesome; I will stay a virgin the rest of my life if I can be a unicorn!

#109 that's when I lost my virginity and had my first ever boyfriend.

I'm pretty sure that's why locks were invented.

Not all doors have locks.

And if you live with anyone and you're in a room that doesn't have locks you don't masturbate in that room.

If that is the case then she should have waited until no one was home.

Hey it's perfectly okay to masturbate in a room with no locks as long as you keep your ears open. Never been caught.

No excuse for the sister not to knock. Especially at 12.

Locks? Ha! I'm almost sure they were invented to try to keep zombies away. And not to prevent lil sisters walking in on you while having some alone sexy time.

No no no no no.....bad

Or maybe people need to learn to respect privacy. Knocking on a door never hurt anyone.

Knocking? Who knocks nowadays.

If not a lock on your room there should be one in the bathroom...

Or you make people knock before they enter at all times so you have time!

If I needed privacy in a door that has no lock, I would put a door stop under the door. There are ways.

#21 But it's so much better when there IS a lock and you don't have to concentrate on listening.

That's true. Good point.

OP YDI! You should have locked or put something, anything, behind the door. Also if you can't than try a freaking blanket so your not vag out to the whole house! If you are going to live at home with such "toys" you have got to grow the hell up and have an oz of intelligence!

if no lock, you must knock.

Well, are you a virgin?

According to her sister,apparently,yes!

No you are the kid from American Pie that ALWAYS gets caught pervin solo

You don't have locks on doors?v

Not all doors have locks

In my experience very few bedroom doors have locks.

In my experience, many bedroom doors have locks, but that might just be my house.

My bedroom door has a lock!

My bedroom doesn't have a door. :(

my bedroom door's lock is broken :(

all doors in my house have locks

My bedroom door has a lock, but it's on the wrong side... My parents don't like me...

No one cares what anyone's bedroom door has. Or in #92's case, anyone's bedroom.

How many bedrooms have you been in?

Thts rough. Maybe cover with blankets and lock the door next time?

Yeah I agree.. better luck next time

ALWAYS cover with a damn blanket. fool

I don't think the FML was because she got caught I think it's because her 12 yr old sister implied that she isn't a virgin

I'm pretty sure she just flat-out said her sister is a virgin, using it as an insult.

And I'm pretty sure that what #110 was trying to say is that the little sister was implying that she (the 12-year-old) isn't herself a virgin. Not the older sister. That's indeed a FML if her little sister gets laid before her and moreover at 12.

Why does it matter if you're a virgin? And the way you said she called you a virgin at twelve is she not one?

I got that too. OP's 12-year-old sister sounded like she wasn't a virgin.

HIt could be that OP's sister isn't a virgin or she could think that being a virgin is a bad thing. With the way my generation is....I wouldn't be surprised either way..

The first thing I thought was OP sister obviously isn't if she's talking like that

Tell her that it's not a plus to give away your body before you hit puberty.

And then introduce her to your imaginary boyfriend. Unless you don't want her to get an imaginary pregnancy.

Cheeky little shit. I'm uncertain what vibrators and virginity have in common.

Always lock the door !

are you mad because she laughed, called you a virgin, or because she left