By ohfuckwaffles - 29/01/2013 05:28 - United States - Bremerton
ohfuckwaffles tells us more.
OP here. Thanks for the support, everyone - I have told her, and, while she's definitely not into it, at least she doesn't plan to leave me over it. To those of you wondering whether I'm a transvestite, a crossdresser, a transexual, or transgendered - there are waaay too many of these names, and it's confusing. How about I explain it this way: I'm a girl on the inside, and I'm still attracted to girls (a lesbian, perhaps?). I don't mind my body, and I don't mind wearing men's clothes (heck, it's what I grew up with), but I'd like to see what more is out there... I've been hiding it and ignoring it and thinking I'm wrong for a long time, but my control is obviously slipping.
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Just come out wearing it! You never know it may get her excited!
while it is perfectly possible that he is questioning his sexuality, I think it is also just as possible for OP to be completely straight. I do not take part in dressing up in womens clothing, but some men just enjoy it even though they are still attracted to women. I don't think how you like to dress needs to mean you are a certain sexuality, even though it can be a hint
It doesn't necessarily mean OP's sexuality is any different. It more likely means OP's gender identity is different from what their wife has thought their entire relationship. Yes many men enjoy cross-dressing and for them it has some sexually gratifying component. But for other biological men, it has more to do with their gender identity. I have a feeling OP is in this latter category, based on the "self-doubt" statement, but with stigma these days OP really could be in either situation. Either way, OP, you rock for taking the plunge and challenging gender norms! I hope your world becomes open to more expression and happiness and freedom. ^gender studies major
"gender studies major" A major which you don't need college for. Liberal arts degrees are worthless, STEM degrees are the only honorable ones. Just to think you probably spent $25,000 per year for 4 years for a liberal arts degree teaching you about gender identities. I'll be coming out in 3 years with little debt and probably a higher standard of education than liberal arts majors yet we both get an accredited bachelor's degree even though you liberal arts majors have it way easier. ^Software Engineering major here Anyways, OP you shouldn't be afraid of what your wife thinks. If she doesn't accept you then maybe you shouldn't stay around anyway, be you. And no, we shouldn't applaude OP for "breaking gender roles" we should applaude him for being himself.
#43 - I meant to say that two guys in a relationship can share clothes, and their closet doubles (no pun intended). My comment was cut a bit short - forgot to add the context to it. I wasn't referring to cross dressing etc. And I'm bi myself, so it's not an uneducated comment- just a misunderstood one.
I have to say...I was NOT expecting that ending. I was expecting the FML to end with something about ruining the dress or some sort of self esteem issue. Lol
Haha so was I. Defiantly didn't expect OP to be a guy. He must have a feminine body. OP, if it is something you don't do much or want to do often then probably better off not telling her. But if you are really into it and plan on doing it a lot then telling her maybe the way to go.
@23 A person whose physical sex does not match with their gender is transgendered (someone whose physical sex does match with their gender is cisgendered). This relates to gender identity. A transvestite, or crossdresser, is a person who prefers clothing of another gender. They are mostly straight cismen. This relates to gender presentation. *fist-bumps to the OP*
56, I know where you're coming from and the definitions are correct but I've always thought it's almost sexist in some ways because even though girls wear a lot of boys clothes (I'm always wearing my boyfriends clothes) but I'm not classed as a crossdresser. I'm not the only one who sees it as sexist right?
@69 It *is* sexist, because it implies that people who want to wear female-designated clothing are weird. (Sometimes the clothing itself is weird, like the whole fake pockets business, but that's a different issue.) It's othering women. On the other hand, just because someone likes to wear clothing of non-typical of their designated gender doesn't mean that they disagree with their designated gender, it just means they think dresses are fabulous. (Which, in my opinion, they are, but on other people.)
#69 No you're not. There always seems to be these slight things that people overlook that is in fact sexist (nowadays mostly for men because everyone focuses on people being sexist towards women, and sometimes forget its a two way street). I personally don't mind my GF wearing my clothes, and I know that if she wanted to see me in something of hers I'd play along. Who knows, could end in something a little more fun of you know what I mean ;P There's nothing wrong with that OP. Just don't tell her you look better in it then her lol XD
Bit of a correction: A *transvestite* is someone who dresses in clothing of the opposite gender because it's sexually exciting. Someone who's *transgendered* is someone who feels that his or her biological sex doesn't match his or her gender. A *crossdresser* is someone who wears clothing not associated with his or her gender, no matter what the reason. Finally, a *drag queen* is a man who wears women's clothing, and often also adopts exaggerated feminine mannerisms, as a central theme of a stage show, beauty contest, or performance art. (Drag kings, women who dress as men, also exist in that context, but are less common.) Not all crossdressers are transgendered, or transvestites. Some people simply feel that the clothing of the opposite gender looks better on them, feel better and/or more comfortable in it, want to challenge social gender norms, or any of a thousand other reasons.
It seems people think I'm wrong. That's not what my dictionary tells me though: trans·ves·tite /transˈvestīt/ Noun A person, typically a man, who derives pleasure from dressing in clothes appropriate to the opposite sex. So the difference between a cross-dresser and a transvestite is, probably, that the more correct original term is transvestite and cross-dresser is a more modern slang.
First, make certain that you have the complete outfit: shoes and purse. Then show your wife. Try not to look better in it than she does.