Today, I was taking a dump, when my dad shouted for me to go wash the dishes. Fed up with his constant shit, I told him to bite me. He took this as an invitation to wedge the bathroom door shut for nearly two hours, despite all my pleas and apologies. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was taking a shower, when my dad decided to turn off the water to the house, run upstairs, and throw a bucket of freezing cold sludge into the shower with me. He wouldn't turn the water back on for 2 hours. FML
Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
Today, I found my dad using my bathroom. Why? Because he "had to take a crap" and didn't want to stink up his own bathroom. FML
Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML
Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom, only to find my dad sitting on the toilet, blind drunk. He screamed "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" at me. I just wanted to shave. FML
Today, my dad walked in on me using the bathroom. After rushing out, he yelled at me through the door for not locking it. He made up the "no locking the doors inside the house" rule. FML
Today, while shopping with my father, I had to use the restroom. As soon as I opened the door to the men's room, my father yelled that it was the ladies' room. I then turned around and went through the other door, where I ended up getting bitch-slapped. FML
Today, my dad called me into the bathroom, saying, "Get a load of this shit, son" and forcing me to look at the biggest, foulest-smelling turd I have ever seen in my life in the toilet. It's been three hours and I still feel physically ill. FML
Today, my dad screamed at me, called me a monster, told me he wanted me to move out, and that I better start looking for an apartment. Why? I slammed the microwave door. FML
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Top comments
kut17 11
If I talked to my parents like that, I would consider getting locked in a bathroom as getting off easy.
singerlove 14
Because the dishes are SO hard to do...
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Comments (181)
rockwind_ 5
"Sick of his shit" Pun intended?
MsMeiriona 2
HIS constant shit?
edteach 0
at least he was relaxed and funny about it... I would have drowned you in a bucket of water for saying some stupid shit back like that
RogueWarrior869 23
Won't be doing that again anytime soon, will you?
wriptidez 0
you dont deserve it.. but i guess u could of taken a nap n there
Schiffy 18
FYL, no one should tell you to do anything while you're taking a shit.
newburton13 26
I hope you called the cops on his ass.
thewife5 19
Ha ha ha.. What will they do, there is no child abuse in this story.
firefighterjohn 9
one kick with my size 14 shoes and id be out. wussy
glittercookies 12
Would have taken a 2 hour bubble bath.
withasmile 3
You were lucky. My dad would've smacked 'the crap 'out of me.