Kids: Today, I was taking a dump, when my dad shouted for me to go...

By mikey51 - 10/03/2012 01:56 - Australia

Today, I was taking a dump, when my dad shouted for me to go wash the dishes. Fed up with his constant shit, I told him to bite me. He took this as an invitation to wedge the bathroom door shut for nearly two hours, despite all my pleas and apologies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 629

You deserved it 41 566

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Same thing different taste

By Niles - 20/03/2012 17:46 - Canada - North Vancouver

Today, I was taking a shower, when my dad decided to turn off the water to the house, run upstairs, and throw a bucket of freezing cold sludge into the shower with me. He wouldn't turn the water back on for 2 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 374

You deserved it 2 826

By obtuse_ballsack - 04/06/2012 20:37 - Croatia - Zagreb

Today, I desperately needed to pee, but my mom was in the bathroom taking a shower, so I waited patiently until she finished. Just as I was about to go in, my half-naked dad rushed ahead, said "Going somewhere, son?" and shut the door on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 704

You deserved it 2 757

By EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - 17/08/2011 16:40 - United States

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 287

You deserved it 7 523

By IAmACoolCat - 05/07/2011 16:41 - United States

Today, I found my dad using my bathroom. Why? Because he "had to take a crap" and didn't want to stink up his own bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 507

You deserved it 4 958

Not now!

By Anonymous - 18/04/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, my mom decided to infodump on me as I came home needing to take a shit. She wouldn't stop talking and calling me back when I tried to walk off. I couldn't get a word in, and she was ignoring my gestures. She's now calling me disrespectful because I finally ran off and dropped a loud one in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431

You deserved it 78

By :// - 05/11/2013 21:01 - United States - Romulus

Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom, only to find my dad sitting on the toilet, blind drunk. He screamed "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" at me. I just wanted to shave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 753

You deserved it 3 745

By unknown - 13/12/2011 02:04 - United States

Today, my dad walked in on me using the bathroom. After rushing out, he yelled at me through the door for not locking it. He made up the "no locking the doors inside the house" rule. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 366

You deserved it 3 125

By green and not with envy - 13/06/2014 20:17 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my dad called me into the bathroom, saying "Get a load of this shit, son" and forcing me to look at the biggest, foulest-smelling turd I have ever seen in my life in the toilet. It's been three hours and I still feel physically ill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 773

You deserved it 5 797

By wowdadreally - 23/12/2014 20:46 - United States - College Station

Today, while shopping with my father, I had to use the restroom. As soon as I opened the door to the men's room, my father yelled that it was the ladies' room. I then turned around and went through the other door, where I ended up getting bitch-slapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 710

You deserved it 6 471

By fml - 20/05/2010 21:32 - Canada

Today, my dad screamed at me, called me a monster, told me he wanted me to move out, and that I better start looking for an apartment. Why? I slammed the microwave door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 985

You deserved it 7 610

kut17 11

Saturday 10 March 2012 6:24

If I talked to my parents like that, I would consider getting locked in a bathroom as getting off easy.

singerlove 14

Saturday 10 March 2012 6:28

Because the dishes are SO hard to do...

Comments

rockwind_ 5

Saturday 10 March 2012 10:17

"Sick of his shit" Pun intended?

MsMeiriona 2

Saturday 10 March 2012 11:03

HIS constant shit?

edteach 0

Saturday 10 March 2012 12:29

at least he was relaxed and funny about it... I would have drowned you in a bucket of water for saying some stupid shit back like that

RogueWarrior869 23

Saturday 10 March 2012 12:51

Won't be doing that again anytime soon, will you?

wriptidez 0

Saturday 10 March 2012 13:00

you dont deserve it.. but i guess u could of taken a nap n there

Schiffy 18

Saturday 10 March 2012 13:09

FYL, no one should tell you to do anything while you're taking a shit.

newburton13 26

Saturday 10 March 2012 13:32

I hope you called the cops on his ass.

thewife5 19

Saturday 10 March 2012 22:55

Ha ha ha.. What will they do, there is no child abuse in this story.

firefighterjohn 9

Saturday 10 March 2012 14:02

one kick with my size 14 shoes and id be out. wussy

glittercookies 12

Saturday 10 March 2012 15:05

Would have taken a 2 hour bubble bath.

withasmile 3

Saturday 10 March 2012 15:08

You were lucky. My dad would've smacked 'the crap 'out of me.

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The Top

Today, I went on what I thought was a date. After a wonderful night with a perfect gentleman, he told me how excited he is that he's moving in with his girlfriend next week, and thanked me for reassuring him that he doesn't want anyone but her. FML

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You deserved it 3 990

Today, a body positivity influencer I greatly respected and admired suddenly died. When I tried to read about her death, all I found were thousands of comments fat-shaming and mocking her. I was crying so hard that people thought I'd had a death in the family, which I kind of did. FML

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 5 978

You deserved it 401

Today, a bear dragged my neighbor's garbage across the street and stopped right in the middle of my front yard, where it proceeded to scatter the contents and have a feast. When it was finished, it took a massive dump on my lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 027

You deserved it 204

Today, my girlfriend started bitching me out about how public proposals are unfair and how they pressure a girl to say yes. All I did was get on my knee to tie a loose shoelace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 476

You deserved it 3 390

Today, I realized I hate my life now. Everything changed. My friends changed. I don't like Paris. It's cold and lonely. It's nothing like Emily in Paris. I'm overstressed with uni and my future. I want a break. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 521

Today, I was pretending to be a mom with my friends, and I was joking how I bought them candy and that it cost me an arm and a leg, only to realize that the cashier only had one arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 795

Today, I took the bus. The old lady next to me almost fell when the driver stopped, but I managed to catch her. Five minutes later, the same thing happened to me. The old lady tried to help me, but I lost my balance and pulled her skirt down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 209

You deserved it 2 533

Same thing different taste

Not now!

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